A Blocky Paranoia
by PlagueOfThots
Summary: [PLEASE NOTE!] This is a rewrite of Blocky Paranoia... Jake Isaac Daniels is a boy with a very awkward outlook on life. Let's just sit idly by as we look at how he deals with what's thrown at him.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey GUYS! It's time for a rewrite...**

 **And yeah, it's because I felt disturbed re-reading my story.**

 **It felt empty and... unorganized in my eyes.**

 **(Sorry for not updating... Was too busy redoing stuff and playing video games)**

 **But...** **I hope you guys will still...**

 **Enjoy?**

* * *

"Gather 'round boyos and girly girls... I, Jake Isaac Daniels have one hell of a story for you. This is the story of how I got stuck in this realm you call the Aether... Because 'twas one hell of a hot summer day back on Earth..."

0-0-0-0-0

 **Le Past**

Waking up, I realized I was still trapped in my room. The same old musty smell of unwashed clothes and 'Used Socks' filled the air as the slow hum of a sleeping PC greeted me. The usual feeling of dread loomed over me as I prepared myself to drag my feet like usual.

 _Fuck off._

Today was the last day of summer vacation, and I sure was hell mad about it. I should've been outta there, but sadly, I needed to attend senior year due to my birthday. But a little note you should check is that I WAS ONE AND A HALF FUCKING MONTHS before the cutoff date for attending kindergarten. I was already 18, and was ready to stop attending school. Despite trying to barter/beg my principal, she wouldn't grant me the chance to graduate 'Early'.

 _GOOD FUCKING MEME Mrs. Wilson..._

To force such a dumb technicality on me is like rushing into the enemy, it made no fucking sense... Especially in strategy games, which I pride myself for being good at and spent most my time on. But that's beside the point... I hated this world, which I know is an edgy concept, but I just hated humanity as they have lost my faith in them. For us to be granted a high amount of intelligence just for us to degrade ourselves to this point with bullshit like politics and 'social justice' was just blasphemy.

 _Let's take a look at my ugly ass self before I stress myself out anymore._

I got up and walked up to the half mirror hanging on my wall, a tall lanky figure staring back at me. Even though I wouldn't call myself narcissistic, I was pretty buff for my lifestyle. My six-pack and slightly toned muscles rippled throughout my nude body as I couldn't help but laugh at myself. My shaggy hair, which was dyed red, made me look like the weeb I was, with there sadly being no tattoos on my body to counteract that. My grey eyes stared blankly into the mirror as my mind ran back to shit I was thinking about.

 _Man, the world is still pretty fucking stupid._

The shit I saw on the news usually were about political tensions, global warming, pollution, and stuff like that. I mean... Even if I didn't tune in, it was all my family (that still remained) talked about. And for that reason, at the young edgy Tumblr boy of 11, I delved into the internet. Even at that age, I knew that by GOD I was madly in love with the internet. It was sort of like the crush you had on a pornstar or a hentai. All I ever did after work was watch anime, peruse memes, and grind video games. Everything that I did in my free time pulled me further and further from the world I continuously graced my self with...

0-0-0-0-0

 **3:15 PM**

The day was now passing as usual, which usually contained me ignoring the dumb trends and the news (CNN), and in it's place, spending my time with friends online. This was all interrupted when all the electronics that were plugged into an outlet shorted out. Looking at my watch, it read 3:15 despite the fact that it looked to be midnight outside. That was some eerie ass shit, as it was something you'd find in a horror movie about a demon or something... I had to open my eyes wide as to let them adjust to the dark as I slowly scanned my room for a light source.

 _WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT._

Sooner than later, I found myself face to face with a masked figure, a strange mist seeping out from it's robes. Then as my vision finally returned, I found the only article he actually donned was the mask, and the mist supposedly kept the specter afloat. The mask seemed to distort into a smile as it finally spoke.

"Do you want to make a deal?"

I liked to pride myself in staying calm, and I was dead sure I wasn't scared. Nobody would ever catch me dead shaking, proving the theory to myself as I locked eyes with him, resisting the urge to run. As my head finally came back on straight, I couldn't help but be confused as to why he would ask to make a deal before proposing what we trading. He continued on, with me allowing it to do so as I had nothing better to do in the 'Haunted Room'.

"We the entities have noticed your blatant dislike of this world. So... We are asking if you would like to assist us with something. And in return... We'll grant you the ability to escape this universe."

I know I was just being edgy and spoiled, but it all seemed like a good trade had finally caught my ear. The thoughts that ran through my mind consisted of many things. The usual FanFiction/epic of going to another world, with the world being anything I wanted. It could be in an anime, cartoon, video game, or faraway land you found in a middle school fantasy book. But, being the cautious person I was, I couldn't help but start to weigh out the pros and cons of going through with this.

 _Something seems off about him... What if I'm thrown into a murder fest? Or if I fight a demon king and die? I seriously have my doubts..._

"What's the catch?" The mask once again distorted, this time now losing any trace of surprise and amusement it once had. In reaction to my question, it seemed to slouch before starting to kickback onto an invisible barrier.

"There's no catch, all you need to do, however, is complete the goal we have set for you." Going against my my gut, I decided to pry into his intentions as I started to 'interrogate' him.

"What's the goal?" It leaned in slowly, now aggravated as it spoke with a sharp tone in it's voice, seemingly in a rush.

"You'll know in good time, but just know that you'll be awarded with the ability to go to any world you want." At that point, I was just going with my sense of instant gratification as my adrenaline started to rush alongside the thoughts in my head.

 _HOLY SHIT THAT'S SWEET._

Thoughts of all the things I could do after my quest wouldn't stop multiplying as he gave me time to process it all. I started to picture the large amounts of girls I can slam, the EPIC FUCKING FIGHTS I could engage in, the possibilities being virtually endless. I would be the envy of all my friends as I brought a girlfriend home at the end of it all.

 _Or even better, a HAREM._

The ghost spoke again, posing the same question when I had first found him.

"Do we have a deal?"

I hesitated for a moment, asking myself what I had to lose... Nothing crossed my mind as I realized that I was an edgy fucking 18-year-old with no parents. All I had was my grandpa who gave two shits about what I did, his only rule was that I kept my bill under one thousand dollars every month. This would've been a moment where someone shows emotion because of their bonds... I'm not that cliche. I had my own niche.

 _Fuck it._

"It's not like I have much to lose... It's a deal!" The figure rubbed his hands together before he stretched out his hand. After I shook it, he gestured for me to get ready, not knowing that I had a pack already set up for camping. It consisted of instant food, a solar-powered generator, chargers, manga, and my laptop. Some people would call me stupid for making my backpack full of entertainment while the necessities were in a satchel... And they were most likely right. So to make them happy, I put my satchel into a duffel bag with my other sets of clothing.

 _There. Now nobody can criticize me, for I now have more clothes._

I liked having alter egos because... It was fun. I mean, would you like to hang out with an edgy looking kid, or a cool guy and a fun dude? My boy... I think the answer is pretty obvious, as the favorite among strangers was the mysterious one, which I dubbed Shadow. The other one was weird but was easiest to naturally act out, which was just my middle name. Even when I was by myself, I kept acting as Isaac, as the feeling that someone was always watching me refused to go...

"READY!" I exhaled and bounced about as the masked creature somehow dissipated, a creepy smile remaining in it's place. The room seemed to spin as my body suddenly grew heavy, my heart now beating a million miles per hour. I grit my teeth as each heart beat brought a wave of pain, a black fluid replacing my blood. Laughing was heard as I started to cough up the blood that once ran through my veins, with me now unable to breathe. My mind went blank as I laid on my back, feeling like I was free falling. This continued on for what seemed like a century until I finally hit something and blacked out...

0-0-0-0-0

 _Who the fuck drugged me?_

I took in a deep breath as I was finally granted the ability to breathe once more. With my eyes still closed, I shed a few tears of joy as I was still alive in my room. I took in a deep breath to take a memento of my room before going to school, expecting to smell the crusty clothes that laid at the foot of my bed. To my surprise, I could smell the SALTINESS of the ocean.

 _What the fuck?_

I shifted around as to sit up, the sound of grinding grains confirming my suspicions. Before even daring to open my eyes where I was possibly being held captive, I tapped my head, the heat rivaling that of fresh bacon grease. I opened my eyes and looked at the blocky terrain that surrounded me, a sudden realization coming onto me like a truck at 75 MPH.

 _Wow... It turns out I didn't blast cocaine or LSD up my asshole. I'm in FUCKING Minecraft, and that spooky thing has fucked me over harder than one of those beastiality videos._

"Really dude? Out of all the worlds I could engage my quest in Minecraft?" I couldn't help but lash out on the sky, the sun somehow failing to blind me. I was fuming, feeling as if I was trolled. Until I realized that survival was easy in Minecraft, the memory of reward suddenly coming back to me.

 _That's kewl... Despite the fact this is one hell of a shitpost. Fucking FanFiction writers... What's next? Mob Talker?_

I looked around, to see a treeline separating the beach and a vanilla forest, which consisted only of your usual oak tree. I walked up to it and decided to punch that shit, and to my surprise, it didn't hurt when I slammed my fist against it. And at that moment, I couldn't help but feel like MOTHERFUCKING BRUCE LEE. My BOYO! That's a feeling you wouldn't accomplish if you were back on Earth actually fighting on par with the man.

 _What should I do after I harvest some wood?_

After finally punching the SHIT out of the block, it condensed itself as the upper half of the tree floated there. I was actually glad that it was staying true to my memory so far, as I let my hopes get picked up.

 _What if there were mods and shit in this world? THAT WOULD BE FUCKING SICK! And what if there was something like that dubstep gun, I WOULD BE STOKED. I could build a fucking badass house that floats in the water and shit... Then I could craft some swords and slay some pussy boi mobs. OH! And I could use my alter egos! Nobody would never know the wiser..._

All that ran through my head as I soon realized I demolished the former treeline, the new one was pushed 4-6 blocks back. I rummaged through my bag, finding my jacket and jeans, putting them on. I liked to pride myself in being edgy sometimes as my black jeans and black jacket complimented my black bandanna. I liked to wrap the bandanna around the lower half of my face, making me feel like a rogue from an MMO.

 _Where did I put my wood? I swear I saw it earlier... Man it's so hard looking for something that small._

 **(I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING. STOP IT.)**

It was just floating in my palms, the little indicator reading 83. I felt stupid as it was in my hands the whole time... To forget it, I decided to get myself hyped up, unpacking my solar-powered generator and plugged my laptop into it. I signed into it and started blasting typical inspirational songs like **Eye of the tiger** **by _Survivor_**. This helped me get through the boredom of setting up the framework of my base. With a few touches of terraforming, I would manage to hide the majority of the T-shaped house under the canopy. The entrance would be at the edge of the sand, the bottom of the T serving as the doorway.

 _I could make a tower, but that's way too fucking obvious..._

 _0-0-0-0-0_

 **6 Hours later...**

I now had access to cobblestone stuff and coal, using the coal to light up the house and to fuel the furnace I crafted. By nightfall, outside, I had my laid down my frame of oak, which gave my house some dimension and contrast. Why did I do this you may ask? Because I'm not a fucking noob builder. The only materials I had was cobblestone and oak, so I wouldn't be able to do fancier stuff... Despite that, I did a decent job decorating the exterior with windows and detailing before nightfall.

 _Finally..._

I walked through the door, yawning as I made my way to the back. The only thing I needed to do was complete the roof. Soon, I heard the sound of zombies, and started to rush even though the roof was mostly covered by the leaves. As I finished filling in the holes with the dirt in my inventory, I looked around to see the shuffling zombies and skeletons deep in the forest seemingly ignoring my house. I laid down, onto my blanket and my body pillow, fantasies and dreams of a madman swirling in my head.

 _I'm fucking PUMPED for tomorrow! It would be so lit if my quest was to slay the fucking ENDER DRAGON! Or... Or... I could unite all the villagers and revolt against the forces of darkness as a general! Wait... I could form a kingdom of my own and bring peace, foretelling a prophecy of a hero. So when I came back, I can save the kingdom I made!_

The winds coming from the cooling sea chilled me to the bone, causing me to bury myself into my blanket. I wrapped myself around my loli body pillow as thoughts continued to run through my head until I fell asleep...

0-0-0-0-0

The same phantom from yesterday appeared before me again, still wearing the same mask. Silence was the only way I could greet him as he broke the silence before I could, suddenly more soft spoken than before.

"Well... Seems like you've settled yourself quite well... I'm surprised you could build such complex architecture at your age. We can't wait to see your potential in this quest." I couldn't help but take the compliment, as it was the first I had received in ages.

"Thank you, I may not be the best, but I don't think that's all you wanted to say..." He stood there waiting for me to finish my sentence, and out of all the times to not answer me, now wasn't the best time to stay silent.

"Well... I'm WAITING for you to tell me... WHAT'S THE FUCKING QUEST?"

"All in good time... For now, rest... You're going to be in for a shock soon... Instead, I only have one more thing to tell you. These so called: Mods, as you call them, they do exist in this world. I can give you a list of them if you're ready." I was unready as a searing pain started pulsate in my head, words now temporarily imprinted into my vision.

 _ **7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L**_

 **More Explosives  
** **Magical Crops  
** **ARS Magica  
** **Inventory Pets  
Tinkers Construct  
Twilight Forest  
Aether II  
Balkron's Weapons  
Improved Water  
Weather, Storms, and Tornadoes  
Vein Miner  
Tree Chopping  
** **Mutant Creatures  
Mob Talker**

 _ **7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L**_

 _All these mods may not be compatible, they run on different versions... The mods themselves may not overlap but... If I had an axe, I could've chopped down those trees fas- WAIT... MOB TALKER? CALLED IT! I KNEW THERE WAS GOING TO BE SOME PUSSY BOI SHIT HERE. GET THAT OUTTA HERE, I DON'T WANNA CRAFT THE FUCKING MICROPHONE. Plus... why would I bone a monster?_

As if he could read my mi- wait... Cut that shit. He was ALREADY in my head. Despite that, I was still shocked as he responded to my thoughts.

"Don't worry child, whatever you were rambling about doesn't exist in this world. For the 'Mob Talker', some of the mobs will already come to you in 'Human Form'. Also, there are special kinds of mobs and items that exist in this world that you may not be familiar with, so please take note of that."

"And I'm guessing that those are the only things you're going to reveal to me for now." The shadow nodded as he looked around the emptiness of my mind. He finally turned back to me, letting out a hearty chuckle before addressing me.

"Looks like you have company."

"Wait, wha-"

* * *

 **? POV**

 _Man look at those zombies..._

The two stumbling corpses inched towards the back where the boy was. As they set foot into area where he slept, he woke up in a cold sweat, looking severely disoriented. When a zombie tripped and landed at his side, he shook it off and stood up. It looked to be a 2v1 with the boy unarmed and unprepared.

"FUCK OFF!" The boy shouted as he elbowed the zombie behind him before he kneed the zombie getting up. The now stunned zombie on the ground was being hauled up as the aggravated zombie tried to bite him. With lightning reflexes, he shoved his elbow into the zombie's throat, his forearm preventing the zombie from biting off his face.

 _Woah..._

He finally got the other zombie up as he swept the zombie off his feet, giving him time to stand the zombie up. Heaving could be heard as he started to readjust his stance with the body in his arms, the zombie now standing to face him again. He charged with the stunned zombie, pinning the other zombie in a charge through the thin hallway.

 ***Zip***

An arrow planted itself in the window before striking my face. I wanted to scream, but the gal beside me covering my mouth in an instant. She shook her head, gesturing me to be quiet. She spoke quietly, still fixated on the boy.

"Just watch him for now..."

* * *

 **Jake/Shadow POV**

A skeleton had fired a volley of five shots at me, one scraping by my cheek, the other four planting themselves deep in the back of the zombies. The two sublimated, leaving a stack of three rotten fleshes and a shovel on the ground.

 _Where the fuck did the shovel come from?_

Suddenly, an arrow planted itself into my shoulder, the feeling of blood running down my back kicked me up into high gear. I instantly equipped the shovel, and blocked supposedly another 'pot shot' aimed for my head. The spade now dug itself firmly into the drawback arm of the skeleton, with it now going for my throat with the bladed tips of the re-curve bow.

 _FUCK OFF PLEASE!_

I ducked down, doing a double-legged horse kick to the chest. The weapon skittered across the floor, with the skeleton trying to reassemble itself together. Getting up, I strode to the shovel and once again held it in my hands. With a firm 'DEMACIAN STRIKE' to the head with the blade of the shovel, the skeleton disappeared.

"Oh fuck." I dislodged the arrow from my shoulder, with it turning into a compressed version of itself as soon as it left my body. I took deep breaths as I ran back into the house, grabbing my first aid kit in my duffel bag. Once I stood at the water edge, I stripped my shirt and jacket off, washing the blood off of my body and the clothes.

 _This is stupid..._

After cleaning the wound with rubbing alcohol, a gauze and bandage was applied to the entry wound, preventing any blood from spilling out again. The fact that it was a pot shot towards my back made me rethink some things. First of all, the mobs were fucking OVERPOWERED. Second of all, THOSE THINGS were just the tip of the iceberg. I cursed myself as hung my clothes over the front door, closing the door as I returned back inside.

 _All because I forgot to close the door..._

A soft growling of the stomach put me back into the realm of reality. The sun was coming up, and I didn't feel like eating right there and then. So I threw out two granola bars out the window to lie to myself that I had eaten that day.

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

The two figures watched the man through the window after he gave them these mysterious bars of food. They ate it, as the one with the grey vest shot up after tasting it. Pointing to it repetitively, it was obvious that she was impressed with the taste of it.

"I'm going to share this with everyone else..." The other girl turned on her, shooting them a look that could murder anybody. Not a second off-beat, the other girl spoke in the same matter as before.

"Don't you tell anyone of what we found, okay?" The one with the vest nodded quickly not before instantly running off, the bar still in her hand. A giggling could be heard off in the distance as the footsteps waned.

 _Honestly..._

She couldn't help but sigh as she thought of the simple-mindedness her friend had at times. Turning back to 'the creature' that had re-entered the room, she noticed that it had no clothes on above the waist. It revealed the blood red hair it had, which complimented the mysterious markings running down the left side of their chest. On it's back, a green a glow pulsed where the bandages covered.

"Let's get to it..." The creature hauled up a bag and left once again, almost spotting them as she ducked under the line of sight. At any point, she could say that they both were pretty impressed by the shack he had built in one day. It would usually take the mobs a couple days to build it, and that was saying something.

"Guess I'll have to report back." She finished the bar, swallowing the rest whole as she turned and ran off in the opposite direction of where her friend had gone. After a couple of strides, she was now moving on all fours as silently as they could. Shadow on the other hand, was completely oblivious to the noise they were making outside as he was spacing out...

* * *

 **Shadow POV**

 _Fuck... If there are all these mods and unknown kinds of mobs that are related to warfare, I must train. I can't fuck around like I can respawn anytime I want, I only have one life. If I'm going to at least stand a chance in this world, I have to refine the training my grandpa gave me. I was hyped as fuck, but jeez dude... I could've died._

I stood up and started to wrap my hands in the linen wrap like usual. I was preparing to sharpen all the fighting styles I had, despite the fact that I was just going through the motions for years now. Now, I had to wrack my memory as to remember everything my grandpa had 'told' and 'taught' me.

 **Nightfall**

Throughout the day, I practiced my kickboxing and boxing before moving onto judo and grappling. Most of my training was done on a dummy based off those pegged logs you saw in a dojo. Sword training was just me blindly swinging and blocking strikes from a swinging ball of wooden swords. My favorite, however, was my bo staff training. I always felt like the Avatar when I did it, the sound of the staff going through the air was satisfying.

Even though I continued well into the night, I continued to train, focusing on my transitions. As midnight rolled around, I had killed a couple of zombies and skeletons, the burn from lack of sleep and constant exercise catching up to me. I wanted to do some cool trick I learned from my friend who does parkour in the city, and integrated my staff into it.

 _LET'S FUCKING GET IT._

I did a heavy diagonal strike from the top left, afterwards, instantly planting my staff into the sand. I used my upper body to launch myself into the air, giving me time to twist my body around to turn 180 degrees. My feet hit the floor first, allowing me to follow through with the renewed torque in my hips as the tip of the crashed down towards the ground at almost mach speed. Suddenly, a small squeak from a woman in front of me caught me off guard as I shifted the blow to the right.

 _OH GOD IT'S GOING TO HURT._

I put my shoulder into moving it, all the meanwhile shifting my feet into the southpaw position. The thundering thud of the staff slamming the sand stunned the girl, as the recoil climbed up the pole before striking my chest. Now me and the girl were both stunned, hers was from shock and I was winded badly. The sand that had flown around was now starting to settle as she ran over to me. Soon, she had laid my back against the wall of my house, deciding that introducing herself, despite me being in extreme pain, was the best idea.

"Umm... Hi? Are you okay?"

* * *

 **Welp...**

 **Hope I can do some bug fixes going through this thing .-.**

 **And as always,**

 **Ciao!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh man...**

 **Rewriting this is like peeling the plastic off of something new.**

 **Bust a mighty nut for it...**

 **Oops.**

 **As always,**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Slamming my fist into my heart, I managed to get my body out of it's state of shock. After a second of panting, I finally shook off the damage I gave myself. I sighed just a little before standing up to meet her face to face. As I took a closer look at her, I had noticed she wore minimalistic clothing, the only thing she wore being two pieces of sheep skin. One of them was a loin cloth while the other was being used to cover her cleavage and breasts. Her breasts looked to be a D if my measurements by eye didn't lie to me.

 _This is the first large breast size I've seen in real life... The biggest before this being a B cup..._

Being the little pervert I was, I couldn't help but blush, the bandanna successfully covering it up. Atop her head, were two dog ears, the rest of her head covered in hair that reached to the bottom of her back. The complimenting colors of her skin and her features made me feel as if I was staring down a real life anime girl. Her white skin accentuated the BEAUTY of her puppy eyes. I can''t help but try to be as detailed as I can. I mean, that's some of the things we weebs live for.

 _WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS EXIST. She is definitely not from the mob talker mob, but I'm guessing she's the wolf mob... I mean. It doesn't require a detective to know that. But damn... I'm going to have a hard time dealing with this world if there are any more beautiful girls like her._

"Hey there. My name's Lone, what's yours?" Her voice had such a sultry tone to it, managing to maintain the motherly touch in it. Honestly, I could just stand there and listen to her all night, but I couldn't be rude and not answer her.

"Hmph. The name's Shadow... I couldn't help but notice that you're out here alone. AND IF I'm correct, you're probably quite far from your pack mates." She giggled as she nodded her head once to acknowledge my question. A lone fang protruded from her overbite, with it being mirrored by another once she opened her mouth to flash a toothy smile.

 _I'M GOING TO GET TYPE 2 DIABETES AT THIS RATE. SHE'S SUPER FUCKING SWEET. I mean... I'm in fucking heaven on the mortal plane... I'm representing the fang squad right here..._

"Heh. You've far exceeded my expectations. I thought you were like Steve or something like that. But here we are conversing with one another..." She took a moment to scan me up and down, shirtless and glistening with sweat. I couldn't react in embarrassment as I was trying to stay in character.

"I take you're not from around here?" Instantly, I was reminded that our characters were called 'Steves' when we played Minecraft, with us being unable to talk for shit... But now, I was managing to talk with a character that I would never meet back on Earth. To gain another look at her, I scanned her from top to bottom. Her body was curvy like an enchantress, her hips accenting the hourglass look. On the way back up, my eyes were glued to her chest, the imagination betraying me.

 _FUCK. I CAN'T STOP STARING AT HER CHEST. Look at her eyes... Look at her eyes... Look at her eyes... Look at her eyes... Look at her eyes... I can't trust her. The world is dangerous._

"Ye-yeah. I come from somewhere far from this world, a place we call Earth. While we're on that topic... Would you mind telling me about this world you call Minecraftia?" After I found myself stumbling with my words, I started to speak slowly as to prevent myself from stuttering any further.

 _It's getting SO FUCKING HARD maintaining the cool guy act. I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT HER. I have to calm. Down... Good thing I asked about the world, I'm killing two birds with one stone._

"Well, there are several kingdoms where the mobs are represented by one or two rulers and their family. In fact, I'm the princess of the Wolves. We royalty enforce the policy that we rule over the whole mob population, including sub-species."

 _Well shit. This is turning into a fantasy setting... Though, I still feel like this feels a bit similar to a Fan Fiction I read somewhere... But THAT'S besides the point, because I won't be able to get this chance again. I gotta roll with this conversation for that information if you know what I mean._

"Hmm... Would you happen to have any info on anything Minecraftian? It would be great if you could help me." Without saying a word, she pulled a thick book out of her cleavage, the covers warm to the touch. The book read 'The Land We Call Minecraftia' which looked to be a guidebook/kids' book about Minecraftia. I thanked her as she readjusted her sheep skins, both of them almost slipping off.

"Do you mind me keeping this book for a while? I think I'll read up on everything in this book for the next couple of days." She nodded as to grant me permission, and I took that chance to test the feeling in my gut that I had...

"Do some of the princesses crave human flesh by any chance?"

"To be blunt... Yes. A majority of the undead mobs love human flesh, although their main diets are grains and starches. Though, if they crave it, they'll consume cows and pigs whole to sate their desires as opposed to eating the local villagers." An audible gulp was heard from the back of my throat as I swallowed my saliva.

 _If my quest has anything to do with them, I'll have to risk getting eaten alive. And by GOD do I not wan't to get eaten alive..._

A shiver traveled up my spine, almost shaking me down to the core as my imagination betrayed me. Imagining that they were eating my organs made me feel sick, killing my appetite and will to converse. BECAUSE FUCK THAT SHIT.

"Well, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me, though I believe that we're going to part ways?" It wasn't the best way to kill a conversation, but at least it wasn't something stupidly abrupt. I waved her off and returned back inside, closing the door FIRMLY this time.

 _Damn, she's got one hell of a rack on her... But those thighs though. I have to continue tomorrow though. Maybe this time, I won't throw out my shoulder from trying not to hit a girl._

With thoughts of the girl in my head combining with what was going to be done tomorrow, I fell asleep, my body dead as it sprawled out atop the body the pillow. Somehow, I fell asleep in that position, the lack of blanket not stopping it.

* * *

 **Lone POV**

The gathering hall looked cleaner than usual, for someone had managed to repaint the images on the wall. To my interest, they've also replaced the cracked stone in the floor, also reviving the local plant life that used to grow here. My dad sitting there expectantly, most likely asking for a report on Shadow, with me standing there quietly until he finally started to ask questions.

"Is it dangerous? Need we worry about the well being of the pack? Recalling my moments interacting with Shadow, something felt off about him, even despite the face he almost struck me down. Not wanting to lie to him, I spoke my mind on the matter, recalling everything.

"No, but he does possess combat knowledge. There are some strange markings on him, and he seems to hide his face. I highly doubt that those features are bad, but it it noteworthy. He obviously sentient and is a male of greater intelligence." He rubbed his chin, his partial form being a wolf with a human figure, the head still the head of a wolf. He seemed to bear his fangs a bit as he continued on.

"So it's a he? Okay... Does he seem to have any ill intentions?"

"Once again, no. He currently just seems set on surviving in this world, on contact, he asked for my guidance about the land. And not just shortly before that, he was killing off mobs that were invading his shelter." That seemed to pique his interest, as he leaned in with a smile curving at the edge of his mouth.

"Hmm... Would you happen to know his mob affiliation?" Trying to think, I didn't recall that I had asked what he was. I had forgotten that part as I was trying to not be suspicious and let the conversation flow. Thankfully, his place on the shore wasn't far from the den. One mile wasn't that far of a trek for us wolves, though I doubt any other land mob princess would agree with me.

"Thank you Lone, I'm thankful that we won't have to worry about him harming our wolves." He waved me off as to dismiss me from the meeting room and called in the elders. I walked off and decided to go deeper in the den, lying down to take a nap. After all, there wasn't much I could do tired while in an empty cave.

* * *

 **Shadow POV**

I woke up to be met with the sun blazing, the light flooding through my windows. I started to munch on a Pop Tart as I decided to read the book Lone had loaned to me. I'M CLEVER. DEAL WITH IT. Oops... Sorry... Almost instantly, I opened the book to be met with a small, yet impressive, table of contents.

 ** _7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L_**

 **The Land We Call Minecraftia**

 **1\. The Basics**

 **\- Survival... 1  
\- Crafting... 3  
\- Blocks & Items... 18  
\- Environment and Biomes... 29**

 **2\. The Realms**

 **\- Overworld... 32  
\- Nether... 34  
\- Aether... 36  
\- End... 38**

 **3\. Control of Minecraftia**

 **\- Mob Treaty... 40  
\- Land Division... 45  
\- Royal Families... 52**

 **4\. Miscellaneous**

 **\- The Four Outcasts... 63  
\- The Royal Competition... 65  
\- Holidays... 69**

 ** _7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L_**

 _Okay. A competition where I scrap with royalty. I'd be fucking down for that, and if it was my quest, I wouldn't complain one single bit. I think..._

I basically knew everything in the former two chapters, so I turned to page 40 and started to read aloud what was on the page. The paper was a bit rugged, the edges being frayed and slightly torn. The usually white paper was stained a dull yellow, which made it easier to read somehow... Gingerly, I started to read as I didn't want to corrupt my knowledge of Earth with this, silently hoping I would forget this too.

 ** _7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L_**

After the power struggle for control of Minecraftia ended **(The War)** , the kings went to The End to foresee the signing of the Mob Treaty. Basically, the Treaty is now seen as the rules and guidelines of conduct between these nations. The three basic rules declared in the Preamble are as follows:

 **1) In no way should any mob be harmed intentionally no matter the kingdom they are residing in.**

 **2) In no way should harm be brought to any member of the Royal Family unless stated otherwise.**

 **3) In no way should the Royal Family seize total control over their people, for the ruled can exercise the right to overthrow them as they deem fit.**

 ** _7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L_**

 _So basically like the fucking Amendments. Great. As long as I don't do anything irrational, I should be fine. Just treat them like... people. People who WANT to eat my guts. Fucking Treaty laws, I know I'll be punished if I break these rules._

I skipped over the rest of the sub-chapter, as I didn't want to remind myself of 9th-grade social studies. All I ever did was remember all the Amendments and laws. I immediately turned to page 45 and continued to read on. As I read on, I found Lone's and read it aloud as if she could hear me.

 ** _7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L_**

 ** _The Wolves are responsible for overlooking the plains, since they were responsible for watching over it since the dawn of time. They also watch over the shores with the squids. They have tribes, which the king assembles the elders of each tribe to him every once in a while._**

 **Lone, the daughter of Wolf King Ulfric, is a very cool headed and kind person. From time to time however, she can be a bit vengeful and irritable, so proceed with caution. Here is a sample of her abilities:**

 **Wolf Pack:** _Lone is able to summon a pack of wolves, whether they be normal or ender, she can summon them in large amounts. The max amount of packs she can have at her side is two, the max pack size being 16._

 **Nature's Call:** _Lone has improved strength, speed, and stamina when she hasn't used this ability. When she uses this ability, she gives all allies the buffs she has split evenly among them. She can't use the buffs for herself any longer once she does, that's unless her allies are defeated, or the spell wears off_ ** _(One day)_** _._

 **Primal Blast:** _Lone absorbs the energy around her (except for wither and ender) and fires it in a beam from her mouth. The after affects are based on the types of energy involved in the blast. Her favorite energy to absorb is Mist and Nature._

 **Wolf Form:** _Lone transforms into a large wolf, now having permanent strength, speed, and stamina_ ** _(Not stacking with Nature's Call)._** _Her abilities are now strengthened as her mental prowess improves threefold. She is now able to cast her other abilities._

 ** _7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L_**

 _Welp. Remind me to not fuck with her._

 **12:37 PM**

I closed the book to see the sun at the apex of the sky, marking that it was... HIGH NOON. Sorry about that. I walked outside and felt my clothes to feel that they were dry. I only put on my shirt, as it was way too relentlessly hot to put on a black jacket. I stretched once more, 'cracking' my joints and back, the two that made an audible click sound was my back and my knuckles.

 _Oh shit. I forgot to take these off._

The wrapping on my hands were still on me, with no hint of it falling off anytime soon. I shook off the feeling I got from stretching, and did a jog up and down the beach. Don't get me wrong. The world was fucking beautiful for it being so blocky and dangerous. The swaying leaves in the wind made it seem like a peaceful day on the shores of Hawaii.

 _Memories..._

 _0-0-0-0-0_

I started to recall the days I spent with my parents there. The locals were always nice; they they gave us a fish or two from their catch, so we always ended up eating 'poke' **(poh-kay)** for dinner as a side. The day always passed by quick, with me hanging out with my friends in school talking about memes. Even though I wasn't allowed outside the house, I usually got permission to go down to my friends's house to LAN party. Sometimes my parents and I looked at the plants and flowers down in the Botanical Gardens. At the end of the trail, we fed the ducks in the lake and had a good time, watching as the koi swarmed the area where the bread was.

From the age of 4, I was playing an instrument of some sort, whether it be a violin, guitar, ukulele, piano, whatever. You've probably noticed that my parents wanted me to find something in music. It pained them that I "Didn't play enough", though I was pretty sure they've seen me pick up the ukulele and violin to play a song out of my head. Sooner than later, we moved down to Oahu to live with my uncle. The 'Big Island' was just "Too crowded" for them, so they went down where the population density is worse...

I had gone to work with my uncle for work experience and muscle toning, the work being on a farm for chickens, goats, and pigs. A greenhouse full of veggies sat all the way in the back, which my auntie had tended for daily for the past two decades. It was there that I gained my muscular endurance, as I couldn't always drive the cart around. The steep hill separated the parts of the farm from on another, and carrying two 50 pound bags of grain feed up and down wasn't enjoyable at the least.

Even then, I had a family and that was what made me happy. That was until I had to move up to California to live with my grandpa. He said he was getting lonely, for his wife passed on to the 'Other Side'. The house itself wasn't that impressive, but I managed as I didn't require a large room to live in. During the move, I was about 11, with my older brother, Jack, turning 20 that day. It was awkward singing to him happy birthday before I left, but shit happens.

 **Fast Foward 5 years...**

I had transitioned from playing music and farming to fighting and studying. My grandpa was very strict about what and how I learned. Footwork training was the first thing I was forced to do when I came to his house. Now, I grappled daily with him, hitting the mitts as I swung my staff around like an idiot. Sure I was in honors, but my platonic love for the internet ever since I came here didn't die. Yeah, I was able to catch up with my honors classes, but that didn't affect the time I spent gaming.

Soon, my birthday rolled around. The whole family came by except for Jack as he was working three different jobs. Me and him were close like best friends, always playing video games together. I idolized him as his personality was always adapting to the situation at hand, so you couldn't get a read on him. I thought that was cool and decided to recreate that ever since. Anyhow, my family celebrated my birthday, which consisted of my mom, dad, aunts, uncles, and my grandmother from my mom's side.

After a psych test from my father, he decided to give me a psychologist's point of view on my personality, but I neglected to listen to what he said. The only thing I recall him saying was that I was unstable, which was probably right... The next couple of days we spent catching up with one another. Once in a while, I would just drive around with my mom beside me, reminiscing when I was just a baby. After a week, they had left on their departing flight...

0-0-0-0-0

Tears had filled my eyes as I remembered what happened on that flight. A wing had detached mid-way across the ocean due to foul play, causing them to lose the lift they needed. A recreation of the event showed that it had started to drop nose first into the ocean at high speeds... The news had reported it a couple days later when Navy rescue ships had came to the site. Even when the teams looked inside the plane, there were no survivors.

"Damn..."

People were payed compensation and cashed in their life insurance, but that wouldn't help with coping with the loss of my family. After all... They were my family. On that note, I suddenly remembered Jack. We didn't talk much since I turned 17, and that was understandable. After all, he had like five jobs now, because he had businesses in Japan. He only set up in Japan so when he took a business trip, he could blow his money on manga. He was able to understand multiple languages as he was multilingual. After all, he did spend his days for the past 20 years learning Spanish, Japanese, and Russian.

 _You lucky son of a bitch Jack. I wonder where you are right now._

My emotions once again grew dull, but I never had lost the feeling of sadness and laughter. Even though I laughed, it wasn't to par with the happiness I once had. I knew I was a fucking edgy problem child, and I was aware of that fact. Being the person that had quite the mental fortitude, there were no problems with joking around with me or going too far. Because NOTHING is too far for me and my dark sense of humor.

 _What the fuck is that?_

As I slowly approached the house, a chest sat in front of the door, a sign perched on top of it. I read the sign, which read:

This is a welcoming gift from us, the squids. Hopefully we can establish good ties together.

 _Hmm... Why would a fucking retarded squid want to 'establish good ties' with me? I just came here, and the way they have instantly noticed me is oddly suspicious. Eh, whatever... I could care more or less about a piece of shit squid._

I checked inside the chest, and laid inside was a pouch of 100 weirdly colored emeralds, and an over sized shark tooth turned into a dagger. I couldn't help but giggle because of my weird obsession with blades. I mean, it's not like I have blades... It's just that whenever I hold one, I have the urge to do some tricks with them. To get me into a rhythm, I once again grabbed my laptop to listen to music. I found the album **The Getaway by** _ **Red Hot Chili Peppers**_ , skipping the first two tracks to listen to **We Turn Red**. Although it wasn't the right kind of song, I just felt like listening to them.

"ESKETIT."

I laughed as I started tossed and juggled my dagger around, adding the occasional 360 for fun. The next hour or so was just me playing with the blade, acting like I was an assassin from Assassin's Creed. I would occasionally climb up to the canopy and ninja run across it, fueling my childish instincts. Soon, I found myself twiddling with the dagger between my fingers, which was followed with shanking a random sheep or two.

 _I wonder..._

I wrapped the knife onto the tip of the staff, acting like I had a spear. After a few minutes of recreating some Xin Zhao combos, I finally had tired myself out. Oddly enough, the sun was just setting, making me think about what the fuck I was doing with my life spending the last six hours swinging a tooth around.

 _I'm stupid as fuck._

I took my shoes and socks off to dip my feet into the water's edge, as **The Longest Wave** started to play again. I wanted to thank the squids for giving me one hell of a present, but I guessed that was probably impossible as they couldn't hear my thoughts. Looking forward, as far as I could see, the sun was painting the sky with warm colors. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the music once more. Sadly, that peace was interrupted when I felt a tentacle grab my leg and pull me in. Instinctively, I struggled and planted my nails into the sand, but I was being way too slow as I lost my grip. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as I hit my head on the awkwardly blunt edge of the sand block, knocking me out cold.

* * *

 **MEMES!**

 **I decided to remove the information block because... Nobody's going to read that.**

 **When I introduce a character, I'll use it...**

 **But after all that, I hope you enjoyed,**

 **As as always:**

 **Ciao!**


	3. Chapter 3

**[PLEASE NOTE!] I'm editing the content of the mods a bit to go with the flow of the story, so don't get all pissy because I 'Missed Some Technicalities'**

 **Let's get through this edgy faze, as I'm pretty sure you guys don't like dialogue. I can already hear you guys saying:**

 **"Thanks a lot dude, that was boring."**

 **Why don't you have some patience,**

 **And as always:**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Okay, who the fuck was it_ _this time... Wait, what the fuck am I laying on?_

Patting the 'mattress' that laid under me, I found it was a combination of kelp, seaweed, and various liverworts. Jumping off the dead pile of matter, I let myself look around the room, the stone walls glittering with untouched ores. Hell, even the coal glittered a bit, the diamonds and emeralds were untouched by human hands. Seemingly out of nowhere, a wave of anxiety washed over me as the feeling of dread told me that I was trapped. I guess you could say that was true as there was no visible way out, the cave looking as if it was meant to deprive me of air.

 ***Crash***

I looked down to see octopus tentacles crash through the ground, allowing some water to flow up to an inch deep inside the 'cave'. To my surprise, I had my staff and the dagger, and decided to use that to defend myself. As the tentacles felt around for me, I pierced through one of them, cutting it in half as the dagger exited the tentacle. A spray of purple from the wound aimed itself at me, drenching me in what I believed was... Octopus blood?

 _HOLY SHIT THAT FUCKING SCARED ME. This isn't your average Minecraft let's play Jake... This is survival in a not-so-real world... I mean, I'm fighting a boss fight in a cramped room. But at least I guess I'm making calamari tonight boys..._

I chuckled as a tentacle slammed me into the wall, breaking a block of diamond ore where my head landed. The battle went on, with me throwing the 'spear' and jabbing the tip at the prying tentacles. Sooner than later, we were both tired and hurt, the tentacles now disappearing from the room. The holes it made remained there, water somehow filling up the room slowly. Peering over the edge, I could see this little pocket was the overhang for a underwater cave. Checking my head for injuries, I removed my hand at the touch of something warm.

 _Damn, a gash on my head. However, that was a 'FUNNY'_ _hard-headed joke Minecraft, you ain't slick._

The room I was in was now covered in a cacophony of purple and red blood, the gems hopefully not turning into bloodstones at this point. Get it? No? Okay... I looked around, the only possessions being with me was my pickaxe, my dagger & bo staff, the book, and my emergency backpack. Apparently, whatever had pulled me down underwater, had kindly brought my supplies that sat along the shoreline.

 _Let's not waste time just sitting here kid..._

After tending to the wounds once more, I swung around my pickaxe before facing the wall I was flung against. I picked up the lone diamond on the ground, then I proceeded to harvest everything from the walls. The water slowly made it's way to my knees, which limited how much air there was in the room. Just as I finished, something had struck a chord within me. I once again opened the seemingly undamaged book that was being dragged through all that water, but I didn't give a shit about that. After all, it was Minecraft... No 'item' gets wet... WATER IS NOT WET. FIGHT ME IF YOU THINK IT IS. Oops... Anyway, I read the table of contents once more, turning to the page where it spoke about mob royalty.

 _A tentacle, an octopus, and water. This is so painfully obvious, that I KNOW I'm on the fucking money..._

 _ **7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L**_

 _ **Although squids are recognized as the mob of the sea, they actually represent the entirety of water-bound creatures. Everything that has ever resided in a body of water, is deemed to be of the Squid kingdom. So, in turn, it is the king's responsibility to watch over his domain. The water kingdom was named after the squids for their big role as scouts during The War.**_

 **Ink, the daughter of the king, is usually a very talkative and understanding person. Despite lacking mental acuity, she makes up for it with a deep understanding of practical things. She likes showcasing her skills besides intelligence, which makes her a perfect training partner. Here is a sample of her abilities:**

 **Water-Born:** _When in water, Ink's abilities are more powerful, all the while being able to cast more abilities. When out of water, Ink stores water in her body to continuously cast spells. However, once she is dehydrated, she will receive Weakness II and Slowness II, now being unable to cast any other spells until she refills herself or returns to water._

 **Pliable Spray:** _Ink is able to spray water out of her body at will, also being able to fine tune the aspects of the water. Some of the attributes she can control are temperature, salinity, divinity, and density._

 **Current (When in water):** _Ink edits the way the water flows, ultimately stopping water currents of creating whirlpools in the process. In some notable cases, she's been able to make hurricanes with other abilities._

 **Form:** _Ink can choose to transform into a Kraken or a mini C'thulu, both granting new sets of abilities and perks. In Kraken form, she now has improved physical attacks, crippling the enemy with each stike. The C'thulu form is the polar opposite, for when any non-physical spell is used, it does increased damage: applying a curse on hit._

 **7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L**

I was pretty sure the assault with the octopus was the first of many things that I would face, so I did what any normal person would do in this situation... Craft a Pig Pet. LET ME EXPLAIN! A pig pet would allow me to consume normally poisonous foods, give me free pork chops four times a day, AND fill me up faster. Oh. I also crafted an Occulus, but who the fuck cares.

 _Damn, sadly I can't eat this tentacle, it's way too damn big to fry in oil._

I started to feel lightheaded as the air in the room thinned, the water above my mid-thigh at this point. I couldn't help but lean back to reduce the stress on my body, for if I breathed any harder, I'd die of suffocation. Trying to sit on the suction cup like it was a bean bag chair, it only ended up with me falling back-first into the water. I would've been submerged if it wasn't for the fact that I was displacing water with a layer of air around me. Even though I wasn't wet, the ocean claimed me as a slightly over-sized squid tentacle pulled me down.

 _Fuck OFF! I was already going to fucking die!_

Clearly disoriented, I tried to get myself upright, trying to be as quick as possible before the oxygen-deprived blood flowed into my head. Sad news was that the gyroscope that we call balance was failing me as I helplessly flailed about. Soon, a giggling could be heard as a pair of hands held me still, facing me towards their owner. To my surprise and dismay, it was a girl who I would probably guess to be Ink. She filled my little bubble with more air somehow, giving me a chance to breathe properly.

"Hi, I'm Ink! Princess of the squids! Sorry if I knocked you out back there, I just wanted to show you to my dad..." I gawked as I scanned her body, the water in no way obscuring my view. Although she wasn't that bright, that didn't matter as I took time to appreciate her looks. Despite her figure having no curves, the B cup breasts that she had were proportionate to her height. She wore a squid beanie that represented the mantle and fins you would find on a squid, which sported a white hue unlike the normal purple squid mob.

 _That's one hell of a fashion statement... And why am I so obsessed with creeping on these girls?_

She wore a white tank top that only covered her breasts, freely revealing her belly. Her hips and thighs were covered in a white short skirt, similar in fashion to her tank top. Her skin was a slight ashy gray, which complimented her hair and clothes pretty well. All the while, her hair was blue, splitting off into six tentacle-like ponytails. Once again, she had an almost anime-like face, which reminded me of the anime: **Squid Girl.** W-wait... You know what? I was certain she was BASED on her. She was so vulnerable-looking, that I would've hugged her if she wasn't floating in the water. Sadly, there was the bubble that seemed to be invulnerable, so popping that shit was impossible.

"Before we continue, you have to apologize to Octo, he's in his den crying because you cut off his favorite tentacle. Thankfully, he's not hurt anymore because I healed him, but... YOU. NEED. TO. SAY. SORRY." Though that wasn't something I expected her to say, I guess that sort of fit the description of who she was. Next thing I know, I'm hugging a giant octopus, whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

 _Never thought I would do that... I think I'm still on that drug trip, this whole thing just me blasting too much LSD-laced cocaine up my asshole. Actually, what's up with me and blasting drugs up my ass? Am I secretly gay? That explains my tolerance for yaoi furry po-_

When I finally stopped spacing out, I found myself an inch away from Ink's face, who was poking at my cheeks and forehead. Swatting her off, she puffed out her cheeks in dismay, which I thought was the cutest fucking thing ever. She started to float off as we continued our conversation, her voice slowly getting further away.

"I think it's now my turn to say sorry..."

"You don't have to, you wer-"

"I'm sorry for pulling you down against your will, I just wanted to surprise you."

 _That's one hell of a surprise if you ask me... Hell, if it was a hentai, I'd know where it was going instantly with that thicc tentacle. Hell, it was so thicc it needs more Cs than the Mario Kart 200CC difficulty..._

"As I was trying to say, it's okay. As long as you're sorry, almost anyone would accept your apologies."

"Thank you so much... Wait... We didn't introduce ourselves did we? Hi! I'm In-"

"You've already introduced yourself, it was I who didn't introduce myself. The name's Shadow."

"Okay, let's go!" Suddenly, we launched at supersonic speeds through the waters, the local wildlife not disturbed by our presence. The cut in our conversation was well-timed, all the while, badly-timed. I tried to remember something that was important, but I decided to sigh as I couldn't remember. I generally disliked using medically incorrect terms, but once again, I'm fucking mentally retarded, so what do I know?

0-0-0-0-0

 **9:00 PM**

Looking up from my watch, I finally noticed something up ahead that wasn't sand, reef, nor fish. Instead, a large prismarine castle sat there, imitating a cathedral with castle-like additions attached to the building. The looming building looked to have no entrance until Ink went into a mad dash towards one of the windows.

"WHY THE FUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Closing my eyes, I prepared to slam into glass, but the sound or sensation never came. After cringing in anticipation, I found myself on cold hard ground, with me no longer screaming as I was WAY too was out of breath. I opened my eyes and saw the empty halls and foyer, the walls lined with pillars of flowing water from the ceiling. And in the dead center of it all were two 20 feet tall doors, which individually covered in their own set of barnacles and starfish.

 _Well ladies and gentlemen, here's a very cliche boss door standing in front of us as we are about to enter the throne room. Oh no! I'm SO FUCKING ANXIOUS MAN! WE'RE GOING TO GET RAPED THIS TIME AROUND. Kiddo, I'm not one to be scared by two big ominous doors leading to the squid king. Can't wait to see who he is! Oh wait, I can guess... It's probably going to be some enormous fucking squid..._

The doors slowly opened, remaining ajar for a while as the doors creaked under their own weight. Soon, the doors thudded as they had finally opened 90 degrees from their original position, taking the world record of one minute and seventeen seconds to open. I resisted the urge to sarcastically slow clap for the comedic storyboard for this story, but I wasn't about to break the 'gods'' fourth wall. We walked in, the sound of footsteps echoing throughout the great hall. Soon, we met a looming figure, with us standing about eight feet away from him.

 _I mean... He ain't THAT big, but he's tall enough to look through the second story window... mY DiCK Is bIGgeR ThAN tHaT._

"Look Dad! I brought the boy!" The king seemed to sigh as the shadows finally dispersed off of him, the light revealing the gigantic squid. His singular eye was grayed due to it most likely being blind. I could tell because a large jagged scar ran down diagonally from the base of the fins to the bottom of his eye.

"Ink, I said watch the child, not abduct him..." Ink was now shuffling her feet awkwardly as she started to started to turn red. The king leaned in, and put the tip of one tentacle one inch from my face. Not moving, a minute passed as it curled, once again returning to his side. Clearing his nonexistent throat, he began to address both me and Ink.

"The boy is covered in blood, and he seems to have recently received injuries. What did to you do to him?" Ink stuttered a bit as she finally brought herself to speak up and tell the truth about what happened.

"Well, he was sitting at the water's edge, and I wanted to surprise him... So I pulled him down with me, which ended up with me knocking him out..." The eye squinted at her despite it most likely not being able to see anything. Yet, he was able to put pressure on her SO MUCH, that her volume lowered as the conversation went on.

"That explains the slight concussion, but that doesn't explain the blood." The conversation was rolling faster with each question he asked, the answers consisting of Ink noticeably speeding up to get through with the conversation.

"He got into a fight with Octo..."

"And how did he get in a fight with him?"

"I put his sleeping body in the gem pocket." And with that, those were her last words as she started to hang her head in shame. The king couldn't help but close his eye to take a deep breath in. Seemingly putting the issue on the back burner, he now started to converse with me in a more casual fashion. He opened his eye and seemed to see through me as he spoke.

"Sorry about that, my daughter can be a bit of a klutz. For now, may I ask your name?" Surprisingly, he had quite the kind tone when he spoke, which caught me off guard. To 'reciprocate' that kindness, I decided to go full role-play mode, AND I DON'T MEAN THE ONE IN BED GUYS.

 _Oh yeah boys... Time for some big boy words!_

"The name's Shadow M'lord." Kneeling down, I tried to be as extra as I could, the action somehow garnering me favor with the king. I didn't look up as the silence strung through the air, the words of praise broke through the silence indefinitely for the rest of the conversation.

"Wow, you are quite well mannered for someone your age. But I just want to let you know that you are living on squid territory." I nodded as I stood myself back up, and was pretty sure I knew what was going to happen, and decided to use my intuition to get this over with. Because no matter who you are... NOBODY LIKES LONG LINES OF DIALOGUE.

"I already know the ground rules from the wolves, I've took some precautions as to not hurt the wildlife." My guess was right on the money, the statement seemed to shut the king up a bit. I crossed my fingers as I hoped that the king wouldn't drag it longer than it should be... 'I'm a good boy, but I should've been in bed 8 minutes and 40 seconds ago.'

"Hmm, then it seems that there is no reason for me to warn you any further. The only thing you need to know however, is the fact that you can't bring harm to any wolf or squid as long as you reside on that beach. After all, I don't need any more mob blood even after The War. If you fail to live up to expectations, I'll have no choice but to raid your home and kill you myself. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir." And with that we were dismissed, however, we didn't leave without me thanking him for the present. Once again, Ink pulled my arm, virtually lifting me off my feet as she dragged me along. She almost forgot to cast a bubble over me, but did so as she started swimming. For some reason, she was swimming faster than usual, my arm at risk of being pulled out of it's socket if she swam any faster. The swim lasted for a mere 20 minutes at her breakneck speed. The swim back consisted of waiting and taking 'cinematic shots' of the wildlife in my head, as I wondered what I could do with these shots...

 _If I was a cameraman, how much would I have been paid for this view..._

I could've taken a glance up Ink's skirt, but I was too much of pansy to do it... After all, my thoughts are jokes: just as much as my life. HELL YEAH. SELF-DEPRECATING JOKES. I bet you all know that nothing at all could rival me in edge... Except for some random 12 year old kid on X-Box.

0-0-0-0-0

 **9:30 PM**

Shortly after arriving home, I finally remembered what I had forgotten... All my shit was inside of Octo's gem thingy... Asking politely, it took only five minutes for her to retrieve my stuff. Once she handed me my things, Ink took a quick glance at my house, her pupils expanding in awe. Almost instantly, she asked me politely if she could come in, and I reciprocated that politeness... By kicking her out. Just kidding. I let her in... What do you think I am? A douche-bag? Maybe I am, but not that much.

 _ **I hope...**_

 _But now that we arrived back at my house, I can go to sleep man..._

That was cut short because she decided that it was the right time to talk to me about HER personal interests and such. Basically, she wouldn't give me the opportunity to sleep... So, I grabbed the pork chop that the Pig Pet made and threw it into the furnace. To distract me, I opened up the little manual that the Occulus gave me. I turned to the first page past the title page, and I was given a brief overview of MAGIC.

 _Better not be that My Little Pony shit... I don't want to make friends and share my porn mags..._

 _ **7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L**_

 _ **Greetings!**_

 **The Occulus is an item that allows you to access your magic tree, allowing you to learn magic and such. Magic in Minecraftia requires MANA or ENERGY, both being essence found in the blood of every living thing. They both have their own uses and spells: each with different effects. Each spell has tiers, from Tier 1 to Tier 7, improving their qualities the higher Tier it is. To learn or upgrade a spell, you first must have the needed amount of skill points. Skill points are gained by using spells or converting battle experience into one. As you continue to read, you will learn about the different branches and their spells. And if you're skilled enough, you could make your own spell!**

 _ **Well, we hope you have fun into your journey of magic!**_

 _That was... Extremely eccentric..._

Turning the page, I started to read up on the three branches, which was pretty short in comparison to the intro they gave me.

 **Bulwark:** Even though Bulwark may be the smallest branch, but it provides some of the most useful spells for protecting yourself. These spells, however, constantly drain mana as you use them, so make sure you either avoid using it too much or find a way to compensate for it.

 **Offensive:** Being the second largest branch, this branch specializes in dealing damage to an opponent, sometimes even afflicting extra effects in the process.

 _There are five types of damage: Fire, Lightning, Frost, Arcane, and Force. Fire, Lightning, and Frost have three basic spells which do special effects according to their types. Basically, those three basic spells consist of a status effect, a projectile, and an area of effect spell. The effects of the trio are self-explanatory. However, the Force spells uses the force of moving objects to deal damage, as opposed to Arcane that deals damage using neutral energy absorbed from the area around caster or from the caster itself._

 **Utility:** Finally, there's utility, the one magic branch that is just too large for us to explain at this time. The spells vary from practical to combat, but please note that these don't deal damage. Neither do they grant positive effects, or negative ones: they are just simple spells that do miscellaneous effects. In this, we'll discuss combat oriented Utility Spells; if you want to see the entirety of the branch, enter your Occulus.

 **7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L**

Closing the book, I heard Ink say something about a Skelly stalking me or something. I didn't know what she was talking about, but I did know that she wasn't stopping anytime soon. Pulling out my Occulus, the eyeball finally opened up, revealing a human eye. The iris was colored green, but despite not having eyelids, it felt as if it were scanning me.

 ** _"Hello human..."_**

Ink didn't seem to hear that, so there were one of two possibilities... One: The Occulus was talking to me. Two: I was going insane. Either or, I was going to ignore it.

 ** _"HEY! You can't ignore me! I'm imprinted onto you!"_**

 _I guess I'll have to deal with it._

 ** _"Don't call me 'It', for I am ZENALOS, GOD OF MAGIC!"_**

 _You can hear my thoughts? Great, now I can't hide things..._

 _ **"Is that all you're worried about? Aren't you honoured to have a GOD in your Occulus?"**_

 _Nah. It's not like me and you are going to talk much anyway. I'll most likely only open up the skill tree and leave you alone._

 ** _"Too bad. I'll talk to you whether you like it or not."_**

 _Aren't you pissy? Fine. Finish what were you going to say..._

 _ **"Ahem... Greetings mortal, I am Zenalos, god of magic. I have graciously chosen you to wield-"**_

 _Okay... Can you skip that shit? It's too extra..._

 _ **"Wow. Rude. ANYWAY, you have been granted magical power nobody could ever-"**_

 _I wonder what gender they are... Most likely female because they seem to be on their-_

 ** _"ENOUGH! I get it, I'll skip to the important stuff."_**

 _Yay..._

 ** _"Basically you have great magical power, and us gods have decided to watch over you."_**

 _So can I learn magic now or?_

 ** _"Yeah, just don't misuse it or whatever..."_**

 _Cool. Anyway, what gender are you?_

 ** _"Male, my twin sister is the goddess of-"_**

 _Oh sweet! Can you call your sister? I bet she would make a better companion than you!_

 ** _"You SON OF A-"_**

I put away the Occulus, and decided that was best fit for tomorrow. I pulled out the now finished pork chops and handed one to the STILL talking Ink. Happily, she chomped down on the food, finally shutting her up.

"After you eat, it's best you leave... After all, your dad may be worried about you." She nodded as her second pork chop was being ground in her mouth. After eating her portion of three pork chops, she left my house, making it virtually silent. The time was now 10:45 PM, and it was best I got to sleep.

 _After all, I have to deal with that piece of trash._

 _ **I heard that du-**_

* * *

 **HOLY SHIT.**

 **That took forever to rewrite...**

 **After all, editing things so you don't hurt the plot too much is hard.**

 **It's like adding more wires to a bomb after all the wires are connected to the C4.**

 **Umm...**

 **Ciao?**


	4. Chapter 4

**"Hey dude... Why aren't you updating?"**

 **How about you just be patient.**

 **It's not fun rewriting. I want to write other things.**

 **Be patient.**

 **Enjoy! (For now)**

* * *

 _ **"HEY! How long are you going to sleep? JEEZ. It's like there's some kind of magic preventing you from waking up!"**_

 _Overly sarcastic. A little bitch. Sound like he's about to cry whenever he doesn't get what he wants. Oh yeah... It's Hen-Cholo..._

 ** _"IT'S ZENALOS. AND I DON'T ACT LIKE THAT."_**

"Fine, then why do you sound like you're pouting RIGHT NOW... Shen-Anal?" I didn't expect for him to have quite the short fuse, but MAN that was THE last straw. Suddenly, I was slammed into the 'roof', which was the start of me becoming a living bouncy ball. You would've expected that inertia and kinetic-potential energy where the last laws of physics you'd see broken in a world... That's where you were wrong.

 _YOU SON OF A BITCH!_

My body crashed against the lining of my home, each bounce SOMEHOW accelerating my speeds to the point that my eyes weren't receiving enough light. If centrifugal force existed, instead of it being a nickname of inertia, I'd be separated into basic elements and compounds.

 _ **Carbon. Nitrogen. Hydrogen Oxide. Iron. Sodiu-**_

As if by some godly mercy _ **(gotta love those ironic**_ **jokes)** , the plug was pulled on his powers as I crashed right back down onto my body pillow. If I had eaten ANYTHING more than that pork chop, I would've puked that shit out faster than Mexican food diarrhea. The world around me spun as the blood in my head scrambled to reduce the damage done to my nearly detached brain. Another voice other than Zenalos' rung out in a concerned and gentle fashion.

 _ **"Oh my god... Are you okay? I hope he hasn't done anything to you..."**_

That was the time to capitalize on that kindness. I didn't respond to her at all, laying there without breathing. Holding in my breath was the easy part, the hard part was to not burst out laughing at their conversation.

 ** _"You've put him into a COMA! What were you thinking?"_**

 ** _"But he was-"  
_**

 ** _"No buts. I'm taking over as his main guardian and that's that."_**

 ** _"But they said-"_**

 ** _"Were you not listening to what I said? OUT."_**

With that, Zenalos was gone, and my body radiated a light green, my body feeling more stronger than ever.

 _HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD._

 ** _"Don't worry. I'm here now. My name is Allena, and I am the goddess of tranquility."_**

 _That's nice to hear, but I have to get to work. After all, nothing gets done on it's own._

In response, she left me to do my own things, her voice now virtually gone. Do you know how weird it is to not have your thoughts to yourself? It's going to get 'a bit' irritating... And if you give even a HINT that you're thinking something, you're pretty much fucked. But at least that's all done now. The first thing to do was confirm how true was Zenalos' statement last night. How much power did I have? Was it only magic or does it include physical? There was only one way to find out...

 _Let's kill shit._

Pulling out the Occulus, this time the eye that sat atop the purple crown was no longer the green eye I saw last night... Now, it was a brilliant light blue with every little bit of emotion in them. Waving my hand in front of it like an idiot, an interface showed up with the three branches of magic. To be honest, it looked like the Skyrim skill system, and that was fine with me. To kill stuff, you'd obviously need to go on the offensive, and the best way to kill something was Fire. Though, fire wasn't my best choice. It was more or less leaning to Lightning due to the fact that it had more pros than cons than fire.

"Fuck burning my clothes, it's gotta be Lightning." Without a shadow of a doubt, I put a skill point into Shock, the lowest cool-down out of all the projectiles I could learn. Sure, I could spam Arcane Missile, but I got MOTHERFUCKING LIGHTNING BOLTS. I made sure I had the correct attire on before I went and decided to go on a journey to train my magical capabilities. Grabbing my extra furnace and crafting table, I used those to hide my two essentials at the bottom of my pack: the book and the Occulus. I shoved my pig pet into my pocket and sheathed my wooden sword and bo staff onto on my back, immediately walking out the door after doing so.

 _Where the fuck do I want to go?_

Pulling out the 'Handy Dandy Notebook', I turned to the Overworld Realm page and stared blankly at the map. There were one too many questions for my taste, because the map was surprisingly 80 percent ocean. The left side of the map represented a miniature Pangaea sitting all alone as the 'only land mass' in the Overworld. I doubted that this side knew that there was most likely another continent, and that there were mobs other than them. I mean... Damn, imagine a shulker girl... That's some Lady Gaga fashion right there.

"ESKETIT! No. I should stop saying that. It's disgusting." And with that, I started my journey through the grandiose forest biome that separated the beach and the plains. Occasionally, I would stop to Shock a random shrub or tree trunk, frying a bug or two in the process from the jolt. All the meanwhile, I observed the normal Minecraft mobs with their blocky ass heads. The sheep would just walk around and munch on some random grass, while the pigs and cows watched me walk somewhat in the direction of the villages. The only issue was that I would need to pass the creeper kingdom in the forest, which would be a very awkward for me to deal with a Royal Family at this point. Inside the kingdom would be a giant ass creeper and Cupa, and if Cupa was like the mod, I pretty much knew how Cupa looked. She basically always wore a green hoodie, the hood of which bore a creeper face on it. The hoodie itself covered the majority of her SUPER short brown shorts. She had orange hair and a complimentary pair of yellow eyes with it, her appearance resembled that of your stereotypical anime childhood friend... Her green stockings that reached her mid-thigh managed to make up for her A cup breasts.

 _But by God, do I love myself a good waifu. Damn, I remember Cupa was my Minecraft waifu until I started watching legit anime. My two waifus RIGHT NOW are Eucliwood Hellscythe (from_ **Is This a Zombie?** ) _and_ _Mashiro Shiina (from_ **The Pet Girl of Sakurasou** )... _Of course, that was after I got over my other waifu Yuki Iguchi (from_ **Mayo** **Chiki.** _) BUT... Yeah... I gotta stop being such a fucking weeb._

As I reached the middle of the forest, I could already hear the familiar sound of a creeper hiss, even it was only one or two hours until sunset. The walk was a boring one, there were somehow no mobs in the forest except for your occasional group of animals that sheltered themselves every hundred or so blocks. That was a surprise to me because almost every couple of seconds, you would hear a creeper hiss or two. One would think that they would spot the creeper that was making all that noise, but it was one hell of a sneaky bugger at that. As soon as the sun began to set, I could see the tops of the guard towers, knowing damn well that it was creeper territory. I cast Shock once more on a nearby tree and sat down to begin setting up camp.

The first item that came out of my backpack was the fencing that I had made from the trees I slapped myself. I placed the fence in four three block high columns to act as a way to hold up my canopy, then I made the 'tarp' with the leftover slabs I had, giving me a 5x5 canopy. I placed the furnace in the middle of two posts, then placed the crafting table and Occulus beside it. I slapped down a wooden block and sat down, grabbing a carrot I found to feed my pet. Once I fed it, it gave me my final pork chop for the day. Immediately I slapped those pork chops into the furnace, cooking them with the charcoal in my duffel bag.

 _Speaking of creepers... What's up with them?_

 ** _7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L_**

 **The Creeper kingdom is one of the most well-known kingdoms among the humans, where mutual relations between the two have improved since The War. The creeper mob now spends their newfound time refining their mental capabilities, wandering all five realms in the quest for information. The Creeper King was the first king to ever make good relations with the humans, and in turn, he has been blessed with three daughters. Cupa is the eldest, the first in line to the throne, being the most upbeat, understanding, and kind person any human has known. Here is a sample of her abilities:**

 **Creeper Heart:** _Cupa has the resistances of a creeper, only better. Cupa is healed by any sort of explosion, and when any over-healing occurs, she reflects the explosion damage off of her as if she was a mirror._

 **TNT:** _Cupa has the ability to summon any explosive she can think of. Her favorites are basic TNT and bundled C4._

 **Explosive Dagger:** _Cupa has the ability to summon a specialized dagger that explodes on contact. The shapes the knives come in are endless, may they be a Wicked Blade to a throwing knife._

 **Charged Form:** _When struck with lightning, Cupa turns into Charged Cupa who has named herself Dawn. Dawn has her own move set along with Cupa's abilities, empowering them with electricity._

 ** _7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L_**

A normal person would want to know about the other three siblings, but I didn't give a shit. Right now, I had food in the furnace that I was waiting for, so I couldn't be distracted. Soon I grew bored, so I decided to cast my favorite bolt of electricity: The Shock spell. I shot off the arc of electricity into the darkness, soon realizing I had shot it in the direction of a creeper hiss I heard earlier.

 _FUCK! If I accidentally charge a creeper, there's no telling if they will maintain their **positive** outlook anymore. Shit shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!_

 **(Did you enjoy that electron pun? No? Okay...)**

I started to cringe at the thought of me dying by being blown to smithereens by a charged creeper, I froze and started to face the direction of my projectile. I was relieved I hadn't struck a mob, but I soon realized that I most likely shocked a princess, as a human-like figure stood there in front of me dusting itself off.

 _HOLY FUCKING SHIT. If it's really a princess, I gotta act cool! My facade needs to hold up- Wait. If I DID strike a princess, then does that mean they were stalking me? Then that means it's likely that all three of them are here, including Cupa. I mean, it's the most likely case, but I'll look dumb if I'm wrong... WELP KIDDO... Here goes nothing!_

"Hmmph. Do I still sense three princesses around here? It can't be my imagination because I just shocked one of you. Come on now, I'll pull up some chairs, so DON'T keep me waiting."

I placed down three more wooden blocks for them to sit on, and closed my eyes. Anticipation started to grow as only one set of footsteps could be heard.

 _OK! You got this... You FUCKING got this my dude... Don't show them your fear, and act like a total badass. Ok Spongeboyo me Bob... Here goes!_

"Hmm, it seems that only one of you is here. Now, I will ask you ONE more time. Get over her before you'll regret it." I felt the stares from someone run down my back, and the additional fact that two more sets of footsteps approached validated me.

I finally opened my eyes to see three women sitting beside me. I congratulated myself as I actually pulled off the cool guy for once, and turned to see who I accidentally shocked. I felt all feeling in my gut disappear as I saw that I transformed Cupa into Dawn. Dawn had electric blue hair rather than orange, her irises turned red and bore two fang protruding from under her upper lip. She had a good hourglass shape, as her breasts were a whopping DD cup. It seemed that physics unzipped her jacket as to relieve to relieve the pressure the tight jacket brought. Her hips were now a bit wider, and I was not happy about sitting next to women. After all, I wanted to do was bust out a cold one with a boy. NOT BOYS: A boy. BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! 'Oh, so you're gay? Damn man, I thought you was my boi.' Stop it, I'm just tired of all the women around me, I'm not an anime character. I can't always get a bloody nose around every girl I see. Anyway... I managed to calm down before realizing none of them were talking. With concern, I decided to be a bit more gentle with my words now.

"I've noticed that you three were stalking me, and I can't help but notice that." No reply. I waited until the silence was too much even for me. The feeling of being stared at made me uncomfortable, so I had to address SOMETHING.

"What's wrong you guys? You three seem to be down, well, except for Dawn over here. Don't tell me that Dawn scares you." As soon as I finished that sentence, Dawn stood up and shoved me up against a tree. She slowly pulled me up by the neck just so I was slightly off the ground. She stared me down, seeming quite irritable at the moment.

She tightened her grip around my neck, and started to threaten me.

"If you don't stop prying into our business, I'll end you right where you stand."

 _HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WOW! You're SOOOooooo scary! Oh NOoooOoOSE! Nah fam, get your shit out of here, bipolar-ass, sensitive bitch. I'll show you..._

It was about time to see if what Zenalos said was true as I disarmed her from a disadvantageous position. Hastily,I instinctively grabbed her left arm that held me, and moved my left foot in between her legs, sweeping her left foot out from under her. She started to fall, and my feet finally had my feet planted back on the ground. I still held up her left arm, dropping to my knees to slow the momentum of her fall, and held her arm behind her back as she finished falling. After a short grappling session, I was pinning Dawn down with her left arm behind her back, her arm and legs held down with my two knees. I felt triumphant knowing I didn't collapse under the pressure, and I leaned up close to Dawn's ear and whispered:

"Did you really think you could intimidate me? I suggest returning control to Cupa before I'm forced to go farther than just pinning you down." As soon as I stood back up, I soon saw Dawn 'deflating' back into Cupa. Her once accented features faded into what was Cupa's standard look. She was unconscious, and the two girls looked on in a horrified fascination. It was getting late, and I knew these girls needed to get home. I flipped Cupa over, putting her limp body on my back. If her breasts were larger, I would've been blushing by now, but instead, I gestured them to stand up and follow me. Surprisingly, they did so and willingly at that...

"Could you guys lead me back to your castle? I want to put Cupa down where she's comfortable."

They nodded and led the way. As they did, I would mark the trees with Shock so I know how to return to my precious canopy. For a majority of the trip, the two creeper princesses remained silent, making it obvious something was on their minds. I needed to say something while still maintaining my cool persona, or else the awkwardness would reach a level that rivals reading yaoi in public.

"Hey, I know what you're thinking, and you don't need to apologize. If she hadn't done that, she wouldn't have known her place. Trust me, I can handle myself." The shortest one spoke first, she wore the same thing as Cupa, but she had crimson hair, with your commonplace black/brown irises.

"It's not that... It's that we just that we can't trust you just yet. After all, you wouldn't even reveal your name." I thought about it for a bit... Then I realized she was right. After all, I did just take down their older sister in charged form...

" You're right... How rude of me! My name is Shadow. What are your guys' name?" She seemed to be shocked in my change of attitude, but that didn't stop her from reciprocating the greeting."

"My name is Sophie, the girl to the left of you is Rena, the middle child." To my left, was a clearly flustered girl who wore the same outfit as the other two. She had black hair and a pair of big blue eyes. She had the biggest chest out of all three of them, despite it being a simple B cup. Rena tried to speak up, but we soon arrived at the castle gates. The guards paid us no mind and let us through, even if they were a bit suspicious of me. The castle was something you would see in the Middle Ages, the blatantly large amount of stone brick impressed me. If you thought about it, it would take a shit ton of stone to make, and to make that stone you need fuel. The inside was more impressive however, it resembled more of a Victorian-Renaissance mix. The chandeliers were made out of some modded item, and the furniture, once again, not blocky like the world they lived in.

 _Jesus christ. If things were more smooth, then would this be a normal world? Except for the magic and stuff..._

The castle was needlessly large, and it took us 10 minutes to even fathom getting close to the living quarters. After an eternity, I found myself standing with Rena and Sophie in front of another set of Dark Oak double doors. I opened it and the room reminded me of your average weeb room, much like mine. There were a shit ton of pictures of the other princesses, ranging from Lone to Hilda. She had mini-figurines of them as well, which were cute like those little fuckin' Amiibos. My favorite was Cupa throwing a piece of TNT into the air, and by God was it needlessly cute. I laid her down on her quilt bed quite softly, and as if I had done it before, I tucked her in and shut off the lights. When I walked out, the two sisters were watching me carefully.

 _Oh shit. Did I legit just finesse myself into her room? I need to get back to my cool guy act... You know what? I'm gonna pretend that I didn't do that. Isn't that what they do in anime? Fuck._

I took a quick glance at the two then scoffed, turning towards the nearest exit I could find. At the end of the hall was a small iron door, which led to the front of the castle by the looks of it. I had started to walk away from the two, until Sophie shouted...

"WAIT! Will we ever see you again?" I turned to them melodramatically, and after looking at them for a second or two. I couldn't decide what I wanted to gesture, so I swiftly looked back forward and walk through the exit door.

 _Yep, I just fucking did that... I FUCKING DID IT AND I GOT THAT OUT OF HER! Oh damn does it feel good having a cool personality._

There was something about the anime logic these girls had that enabled my edginess. They didn't adhere to Earth social norms, and I was happy about that. If they did, I would've been slapped straight across the face or yelled at.

 _WELP... It's time to follow my Shock marks._

I walked off and started to follow my marks, but it took a bit longer than I expected. The Shock marks were blending in with the darkness, so I had to drain my mana to maintain a Shock to give off light. And because of that, I had to take multiple breaks, which took about 15 minutes each. When I returned, there sat the infamous Herobrine and the phantom that haunted me. I walked up to them and sat next to them as to show I wasn't intimidated at all.

"We know you're scared, you can't hide it from us."

"You caught me..."

"So... How was the experience with the creeper princesses? Refining your 'cool' persona enough to your tastes?"

"You don't need to answer them, for those are beside the point. I'm not here to disrespect you, because right now we need to get some basic things over with. I trust you know Herobrine?" I turned to my left to see Herobrine smiling at me, he looked as if he was staring me down, but it seemed friendly beneath that scary look.

"Hey, how's your experience here in Minecraftia? Hope my friend hasn't made it hard for you I hope?" The phantom started to chuckle at the subtle inside joke Herobrine had thrown out. Suddenly, I felt they were more human than the human I knew could be. Herobrine had a deep voice that seemed to echo even if ours didn't.

"In reality, phantoms were once human, so being human is the most natural thing that comes from us, may it be misread by our fellow mobs. To be honest, I really want to help you, but me and my friend here have made a bet to see if you can make it. That's basically your quest here Jake... Sorry if I ruined it for you Vennoc, just about when you were going to do your infamous nightmare..." Vennoc waved it off, and let Herobrine continue. I felt like a third wheel or something, but I didn't let that stop me from listening in.

" Though, it seems like you've done him wrong... I'm not going to pry into your business, but do you mind if I give him a gift as an apology?" Vennoc shook his head as to allow him to give me something. He seemed more compliant when he was around Herobrine, which was understandable. Still, I was wondering what Vennoc had done to me. It wasn't anything direct because I didn't feel a grudge towards him... So what was it? Herobrine let me sort through my thoughts before continuing with his part.

"Basically, if you can win the games as the first human, you'll gain the Phantom Pearl, which allows you to jump between worlds, realms, and universes. You should read up on the Royal Competition, as it starts in 10 days. I'll give you a 10x Experience Boost to help you get high-class magic by then." He then tapped my forehead and I felt wide awake all of the sudden, as Vennoc turned to scold Herobrine.

"DUDE! You're going to win the bet if you help him do this, I get to do something if you do that!"

"Fine, Fine... You can do something, but it mustn't harm him DIRECTLY." Herobrine then turned to me as to tell me something.

"I wish for you to see the other contestants, so please try to do that on your own. But, I'll help you learn about the other mobs that you won't see, meaning all of those that haven't been seen before. If you want to see the four mixed mobs, my daughter, and Siv, head towards The Villas. But please be wary enough to take the detour towards the large tree about halfway there. The meeting will be tomorrow afternoon, so there's no possibility that you can miss it. Oh, please don't forget to be stealthy, as they don't like being seen." I had so many questions, but as soon as I tried to speak, I was cut off.

"Sorry, but I have to go, See ya!" Herobrine started to get engulfed in a black mist, until it finally engulfed his head, leaving me with the same creepy smile the phantoms did when they dissipated. Even though I know it was in good fun, I still felt a shiver travel up the back of my spine. Vennoc excused himself from the canopy, not before patting my back and whispering something in my ear.

"Damn, it would've been scarier if he hadn't ruined it. Well, you DO need to compete in the competition, for that's the only reason you were brought here. Seeing that you've seen my true personality, I'll stop intimidating you. See ya later champ."

 _That was really. Fucking. Awkward. Yeah fam, that just happened._

The feeling of the fresh 10x Boost wore off, I felt tired once more and pulled out my duffel bag and laid my head on it. I pulled out a pork chop from the furnace to eat. It was cold because I had left it in the furnace for a while with no fuel, but as soon as I finished, I slipped into a deep slumber.

* * *

 **Cupa's POV**

I woke up in my bed.

 _Wait. Weren't we watching that guy in our forest? So then... Why did I blank out past-_

I tried to sit up, but my body felt as if I had transformed last night... Worrying thoughts filled my head as I touched a metallic pole to check if I had any charge left. Surely enough, the familiar arch of electricity moved from my hand to the pole.

 _Wait... Last night I got shocked by that guy! Oh no. I HAVE TO CHECK ON MY SIBLINGS!_

I sprang out of bed and ran out the door, soon stumbling through the wall as my legs were still not 'awake'. My body was stiff from my drowsiness and transformation, which made me trip over myself countless times. This continued on until I saw them walking down the hall towards the dining hall. Thankfully they weren't hurt, but to make sure I slowly approached them to make sure everything was alright. Thankfully, I caught up to them, there being no visible injuries on their bodies. Rena turned to me and spoke, addressing last nights issues.

"Hey Cupa! Did you sleep well? You did transform last night and all, and after what happened to you, we were a bit worried." I decided to find out more about last night. After all, the only thing I remembered was following a man in our forests until he shocked me.

"Oh, I'm okay for sure, but I don't remember anything after transforming... Would you mind telling me everything that happened after I got shocked?" Sophia and Rena proceeded to explain to me how the man managed to subdue my other personality, and carried me back to my bedroom.

"Did you manage to get his name?"

"Yeah, his name was Shadow. He's a really cool and nice guy, but he seemed to read our minds. And because of that, I think that he's a phantom..." I felt better knowing everything that happened last night, and wished that I would get a chance to meet him. What wouldn't go away was the fact the speculation that a new phantom was around...

* * *

 **Shadow POV**

 _FUCK ME IN THE ASSHOLE... That was a horrible place to sleep, this motherfucking rock jabbed up my ribs all last night. Damn, when you realize your fucking purpose in this land is to determine a fucking bet between two phantoms... FEELS BAD MAN... Doesn't feel kappa, I feel like I binge-watched a shit ton of shitposts and anime memes... BASICALLY, I FEEL LIKE SHIT! GODDAMN IT!_

Groggily, I checked my watch to see it was 11:00 AM, proceeding to take down camp. I did everything I did last night, but in reverse, putting everything back into my backpack and duffel bag. I once again put the staff on my back, followed by the backpack, and finally picking up the duffel bag. At that moment, I realized I should once again, cast Shock.

 _ **"Hey there! I see that you didn't get a good nights rest..."**_

 _Don't worry about me. I've dealt with worse. But, why have you decided to contact me now?_

 ** _"I just wanted to remind you to learn new spells... After all, you'll be gaining skill points faster now with the boost Herobrine gave you."_**

 _You know him?_

 ** _"Yeah of course! He's like a god, so me and my brother talk about you with him._**

 _That's a bit creepy... So I'm assuming both of you are watching me?_

 ** _"Sorry about that..."_**

I felt a bit of thankfulness towards Herobrine for giving the EXP boost, and Allena for being there with me. Sadly, I knew I had to get the fuck outta there in order to get a sneak peek at my competitors... I started to head towards the villages in the plains, which was past the castle and left from there. Halfway through, I saw the detour towards the large tree and decided: Why the fuck not? I looked at my watch to see it was around 11:46 AM and started to head towards the tree.

 _Woah._

As I approached the tree, I saw Herobrine and possibly his daughter sitting down on one of the big tree's roots. I decided they and I were early, so I decided to read up on the six that would meet here.

 ** _7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L_**

 **The Phantom kingdom functions as a set of nomads, wandering all realms, bringing fear into the hearts of all. Herobrine is the infamous ruler with demon-like ability, his daughter Hera possessing more or less the same. Hera's moveset is one of the six unknown move sets.**

 **The Slider kingdom is basically a group of scattered Slider's Dungeons in a cluster surrounding King Slider's Oubliette, where any adventurer trying to invade his home will need to defeat three sliders, each with their respective mini bosses. Before fighting King Slider, one will have to fight three Sentry Guardians, three Slider Host Mimics, three Labyrinth's Eyes, three sliders, and his daughter Siv. Siv is a very passive-aggressive woman, only doing what is necessary for the kingdom. There are no accounts of her abilities, but it is assumed that she, at least, has the same move set as a normal slider.**

I then turned the page to read up on the Four Mixed Mobs, which was towards the back end of the chapter

 _The Four Mixed Mobs are four mobs that resulted either by natural or magical means. Here is a list of the mobs:_

 **Ender Creeper -** _Known to kill all mobs that approach it, no one knows its name as it speaks to no one. It only attends things that it thinks are important, which there is only one account of. It likes to teleport between the forests and The End, as it tries to be accepted by either the endermen or creepers._

 **Gearhead -** _A combination of The Ancient One and Mega Slider, Gearhead was the mob that came to be because of their relationship. In fear of its abilities, it had been imprisoned inside a runic prison much stronger than Minoshroom's. That was until one day, Xera tried to make contact with it... Gearhead absorbed the power of one her runes, allowing it to burst through its cage. To this day, we still don't know where it is..._

 **Skeletal Dragon -** _There was once a dragon prince that was accidentally killed by a stray arrow shot off by the skeleton king. In fear of getting executed, the king tried to revive him using skeletal means, to find out he revived him as a skeletal dragon. The whereabouts of the dragon are still not known, as he went missing on the day of that skeleton king's execution._

 **Lone Phantom Wolf -** _There was once a wolf princess that ruled over the wolves long before The War occurred. She sadly was killed in The War, leaving her pack of wolves to fend for themselves. With the power that tied her to her pack, she managed to revive herself, with the setback of being unable to remember anything of her past. She currently resides in The Overworld, wandering the land in search for her memories. She is a very kind and passionate person, so encountering her shouldn't be a negative experience._

There was only Hera and Herobrine sitting there, so I decided to read up on the competition.

 **The Royal Competition is an annual festival where contestants battle for an ultimate prize. The festival spans over a week, hosted by a kingdom for the whole time. Princes and Princesses are the only ones who sign up, where there have been instances of lesser mobs joining, but they always end up losing. Here are the basics of a Royal Competition:**

 **Day 1** **:** _Participants are put into four different teams, the names chosen by the participants. They then hang out and familiarize themselves with the kingdom's castle/home. They are brought to the Social Bar to familiarize with each other and their teammates, all the meanwhile getting prepared for battle._

 **Day 2:** _Participants are presented with the first game, the winners winning an advantage for the next game._

 **Day 3:** _Participants are presented with the first brawl, it either being Capture the Flag, Team Deathmatch, or 1v1s. The losing team gets eliminated, and the other three move on._

 **Day 4:** _Participants are presented with a series of individual challenges, testing the capabilities of each individual on the team. Each individual presents a score for the team, the whole team adding up their points for the grand total. The team with the lowest grand total gets eliminated, and the other two teams continue._

 **Day 5:** _Participants are now separated from their teammates, still retaining their team score from Day 4. They then take on challenges until 8 competitors are left._

 **Day 6:** _All 8 competitors are now in a tournament style 1v1s, this day is comprised of three matches comprising of four individuals. There are large intervals of 'half time' in-between each match, giving the competitors a break. By the end of the day, the four ultimately come up with a finalist._

 **Day 7:** _The other four competitors participate in the 1v1s, also coming up with a finalist. Before midnight, the two finalists duel to determine who win the grand prize._

 **Grand Prize:** _The winner is presented with the grand prize, provided by the kingdom hosting it. It can range from supplies to a rare item, as long as the kingdom providing it want to give it away._

 **Rules and Guidelines:** _There are a set of rules and guidelines to help maintain order and peace during break. The three basic rules state that no harm to another participant should come during break, no sort of damage is to be made on kingdom property, and to always have fun._

 _That's some fucking basic shit, I could've gone without reading this..._

 ** _7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L_** _  
_

By the time I looked up, seven figures stood under the tree, five girls, and two boys, including Herobrine. They were conversing about something, and wanted to know who was who, so I decided to lean forward from the cover of the bush I was hiding in. That ended up being a bad decision, as I ended up making a big noise while falling out of my cover. I looked up to see Herobrine cringing a bit from my fumble, and was desperate to try pull their attention to him. I tried to scurry back into the bush, but I felt a hand grab the back of my shirt collar, as I soon realized, I done goofed. I turned around to meet my captor, only for the masked figure to knock me out with her fists...

* * *

 **Oops.**

 **Procrastination is a bitch,**

 **0-0**

 **Welp.**

 **Ciao?**


	5. Chapter 5

**MASS POST SATURDAY/FRIDAY**

 **Yes my dudes...**

 **I finally did something with my life.**

 **Check out my new stories and other stories for an additional chapter.**

 **SO:**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _SHIT DUDE! DID THEY KILL ME? DID THEY RAPE ME? DID THEY BURY ME SIX FEET UNDER? Maybe all the above, but that's not the point... WHY DID I GET FUCKIN' FALSED? This is a shitty moment for me, I was supposed to be some sort of hero that instantly knew everything in the dimension I was teleported to... BUT NO! I had to get teleported to a fucking indie game, damn... If only Jack was here, he would know everything..._

I remembered the time that Jack introduced me to Minecraft, I was shitty and he had to help me in survival. He would help me install texture packs, and help me download mods, but I could never do it for myself.

 _Damn, if I had just continued to play Minecraft, I would've been Gucci as hell. Now, I'm here, thinking to myself, because OBVIOUSLY, you can't dream when you've just been falsed. Like, COME ON. Before you go and knock me the fuck out, at least say something or let me peek at your face, don't just go full BDSM on me._

My head had suddenly felt like it just erupted, making it the second Pompeii in human history. Then suddenly, I woke up... My heart was beating once more... Thoughts ran through my head as I wondered what had happened between the time I got knocked, and the time I was woken up.

 _Though I want to know if I was raped! That's legit an actual fear! Shit, if I was, my butthole would be burning or something like that. Then... What am I doing on the grass? Why do I have a pillow? The FUCK?_

In almost an instant, my half-lidded eyes opened wide, the irises tightening to adjust to the sun's rays shining from directly above. I saw the silhouette of the seven figures, with one clearly being Herobrine. I tilted my head back to see I was on a body pillow with a feminine face looking down on me. I suddenly jumped up and stumbled backward from the group, yelling:

"SHIT! I HAVE TO GET OUTTA HERE!"

Suddenly, I realized that my plan was to play it cool, so I tried to cover up by changing my tone.

"BUT! Now that you've seen me, I'll make sure you never see me AGAIN!"

I cast Shock on the ground, and head dived right into a bush. I hoped that the dust cloud would conceal me, but that wasn't the case, as the same hand that knocked me out pulled me back into the field beneath the tree. I heard a hearty laugh that sounded the clattering of bones as it did, I looked behind the figure's shoulder to see an anthropomorphic dragon laughing his ass off. Part of his skin was decayed, revealing part of his skull from what I could see. I started to get flustered, as the figure tied me down in the sitting position on top of an Oak chair. Herobrine facepalmed as I tried to escape to no avail, which consisted of me shaking the chair until it tipped over. Then, the whole group except the figure and Herobrine started to chuckle, making me even more flustered.

"OH AETHER! If this man doesn't stop, I'll die from suffocation!"

I saw a girl about 17 who wore a Japanese schoolgirl outfit, like in the animes. She was flat-chested, but she had quite a head on her shoulders. Her left eye was gray like mine, the other GLOWING a deep red. Her hair was silver, despite it being cut short, there were two ponytails which reached her ankles. Once a-fuckin'-gain, she had a face of an anime girl, and man did it spark something in my soul. I had seen so many girls like this, but they had treated me like some sort of monster or plaything.

 _YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WORLD! ITS FUCKED ME OVER SO MANY TIMES, MAKING ME ADAPT TO ALL THIS BULLSHIT, THAT I THINK EVEN JACK WOULD STRUGGLE TO DO!_

My blood started to boil as I managed to grab my Occulus, and proceeded to invest a point into Pyromania. I unleashed the most primal scream, and I felt flames emitting from my palms, feet, and mouth. Brimstone started to form, the ash of burnt bush putting the seven into a deep panic as the chair started to incinerate. The flame from my feet propelled me up to make it seems as if I was levitating, as more flame started to flow, burning down the forest around the big tree. Once the flame stopped, I started to run, run from all the destruction I had made, in which this world has made me do. I grabbed my shit as I ran, picking up the staff and the two bags.

 ** _"Woah. What was that all about? Jake?"_**

I didn't listen, my adrenaline clouding my thoughts and the pain. I ran as fast as I could to the villages, the long journey taking but a mere moment with my adrenaline. The bellows of smoke filled the sky as I saw the border of the city, no sort of thought ran through my head as she tried to talk with me.

 _ **"Jake! Listen to me!"**_

I continued to ignore her, but that was until I bumped into something metal. I looked up to see an iron golem, the creaking and lurching of metal bending down to face me filled the air. It was your average blocky iron golem, but the metal looked realistic, and the vines made it look like it came from Shadow of the Colossus. With a final creak, it settled it's fists into the ground, the thirteen foot tall golem kneeling so I could stare at it face to face.

"What is your business here... Traveler?" My body cried out in pain as the adrenaline finally faded away, the golem stared at me until I started to cough up blood. My body heaved up nothing as it started to feel heavy, the golem recognizing the sight of blood... Seeing my state, it suddenly put me into his arms and ran to the center of the big city. About half way there, my nose started to bleed as I once again knocked out...

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

 _Dang, right when I was going to intervene, he decided to take the matter into his own hands._

Herobrine thought to himself as Ki, the Gearhead, had cast an Invocation of Cleansing, which stopped the fire and healed any sort of burns the guests had. Herobrine looked at everything before him to see all the destruction Jake had caused, burnt shrubbery and leaves being the majority of the damage. Thankfully, most of the guests were unscathed even without the spell... Ki was the girl who always seemed to float, as her legs weren't legs. Instead, they closely resembled iron spikes which protruded from nubs in her suit... She wore a teal runic cloak, also wearing a cracked horned mask to hide her seemingly irreversible True Form. The mask radiated a blue glow from behind it, including the eyes of the mask. From the current form she was in, she had a B cup breast, which was hidden by the cloak. The cloth undershirt also muffled some clicking gears around her various joints.

"Damn, that dude sure did some damage. He was flashy with his exit, I would like to meet him without the all the commotion to see what he's really like."

He then turns to see Drake, the Skeletal Dragon, trying to lighten the mood, which worked surprisingly despite his skeleton being exposed. The majority of the group agreed except for Hera, the Phantom, and Val, the Endercreeper. Herobrine knew his daughter was embarrassed because she was acting as the lap pillow, and Val because she felt bad for trying to subdue him. Herobrine decided to speak up for the poor fellow, because why not?

"He was a friend of mine, I don't know why this happened, but I was pretty sure he was scared. He read a book which said some pretty scary things about you guys. I told him he could come out to meet you, but he probably was trying to see if you all were aggressive. Sadly, he's now on his guard after the experience..."

He lied in that last bit because if they found that he was a human, he knew that Jake would be in a pickle. Once again he turns, watching as Lyko, the Phantom Wolf, turned down her gaze, her black dog ears doing the same. Everyone felt weird looking at her because of her white hair, black ears, and orange eyes. They always seemed to be mismatched, which disturbed those with OCD, but they always dismissed it. Lyko seemed to be always wearing the phantom's dress, a black dress didn't fail to compliment her flashy features. She also wore a pair of black stockings which went up to her thighs, just like the rest of the girls. Despite her being thousands of years old, she didn't look a day over 20. The group reassure her that it wasn't her fault, managing to make her crack a smile.

 _I just hope that Jake recovers and that he'll manage to see who these six really are, as opposed to rumor and superstition..._

* * *

 **Shadow POV**

It was in the middle of someone else's sentence, but I had come back into consciousness.

"Mana fatigue, he seems singed, so I'll assume he was trying to cast a high-cost Fire spell. Someone ask the local alchemist for a mana potion, and someone hand me a golden apple, this will sadly be his first meal when he wakes up." I wanted to move, I wanted to scream, I wanted to open my eyes, but my body refused. With each effort, the headache grew stronger. That didn't help paired along the sound of Allena calling out my name.

After a minute, I heard heavy footsteps scrambling across a supposedly small room. As they did, there were multiple clanks until something crashed... I had to guess what the fuck was happening, because my body was too heavy to move still. Giving up the fight to move, I remembered that I randomly started to bleed when I reached the outskirts. After Allena cried out again, I tried to move my body in time, but it STILL wouldn't listen. When that failed, I decided to go one step further and just listen to everything that was happening. After whatever dropped was picked up, I heard someone pull up a chair, and sit beside me. The clanking of dishes on a tray was heard as said tray was placed on the supposed nightstand next to me.

 _ **"Jake! You have to answer me!"**_

 _I'm not the Weeknd... Stop calling out my name! I'm ALIVE._

 ** _"Oh thank heavens..."_**

 _Jeez... For someone I barely know, you care a ton about me... But on that note: could you keep me company?_

 ** _"I'm sorry, but I can't... I need to go."_**

 _Wait. You were just calling out my name a second ago!_

 ** _"Bye!"_**

 _Allena, COME BACK. ALLENA. Jesus Christ... Once again I'm still stuck here all alone... Whatever, I just hope the person next to me doesn't try to talk to me in my sleep, as that may get a bit complicated. BUT. I might as well try to get comfortable._

 **0-0-0-0-0**

 **Three bell tolls later...**

 _THREE FUCKING HOURS. I'VE COUNTED THREE FUCKING HOURS. HOW LONG AM I GOING TO BE DISABLED? AM I GOING TO TURN INTO A VEGETABLE? or even worse..._

 ** _A POTATO._**

All hope seemed lost, but that changed when I finally managed to move my head, and soon realized that the feeling in my body was back. I opened my eyes and looked around the room. It was a small room resembling a real clinic or doctor's office... But once again, it was REALLY blocky, as expected. I turned to see a familiar character by my side, her silver features being blatantly obvious. Realizing it was Rosa, the iron golem princess, I was relieved knowing that I somehow made it to the capital. She was NOT at all flat chested, but I estimated that she was a TALL in proportion. She stood up after seeing I was awake, her body towering above me at about 7' 3". She had hair like Sia's, but gray, and her gray eyes complimented it well. She wore a tank top that only managed to cover her E breasts, and I was getting a bit tired of all the SMALL AS FUCK SHIRTS IN THIS WORLD.

 _ **SERIOUSLY? WHO MAKES THESE SHIRTS?**_

She had a gray loin cloth, and a vine that grew over her shoulder, that went down to her calf. Like her mob counterpart, she creaked once in a while. My guess was that she had a metal skeleton or something. She was talking to herself with her eyes closed, and I decided to interrupt it because it was getting creepy. Like demonic ritual creepy. Black guy in an alley way creepy. A room full of dolls creepy. Did I mention the black guy?

" Hey Rosa, how's your day going? I tried to return my cool guy act, closing my eyes as I said my line, opening them up to see her reaction, and by God was it hilarious. She was shocked that I could 'read' her mind, and her jaw hung open like a cartoon character. I sat up despite my body screaming not to and extended my hand in greeting.

"Before you say anything, you can see that my day hasn't gone well... But I'm thankful that you're trying to help me recover, so an introduction's a necessity. The name's Shadow, not a phantom by the way."

She grabbed my hand in a vice grip, bringing pain to my hand. I shit you not, her hands felt like they had clamps underneath her skin. After that, she insisted I eat up, so I grabbed the golden apple and bit into it, surprisingly, it wasn't hard to bite into. The apple felt as if it had no gold on it at all, the apple itself tasting sweeter than your normal apple while still being crunchy and juicy. I grabbed the mana potion and swigged it down, the taste being very bitter and somehow burning my throat even if it was cold. Suddenly, I started to feel better, my muscles had stopped aching, and in the next couple of seconds, I was fine.

"Thank you again for helping me recover, however, I need to ask you some questions." She nodded yes as to allow me to speak my mind. I was glad that she wasn't aggressive towards me like those six. I decided to start asking the bare essentials, even if some may disagree with me about what they are.

"First of all, do you know where the Royal Competition is being held, and where can I sign up?"

"No, but I've heard the phantoms are holding it this year for the coveted Phantom Pearl. I believe you can sign up down at the newspaper stand, as they have fliers and such."

"Hmm... Secondly, do you know where I could get a weapon made for me?"

"Actually, you can make and enchant a weapon down at the forge a block down, you'll have to pay for it to be made of course."

"Okay... Finally, do you know where I could make some pocket money?"

"This city is a group of self-sufficient villages, so finding a job should be easy. The closest one here is probably down at Old Joe's Chicken Range."

"Thank you once again, but would you mind handing me my stuff?"

She stood up and handed me my backpack, duffel bag, and staff. I stood up and walked away, turning to see her wave me off. I decided to head down to the job center, to see what would make me the most emeralds. I shuffled through the help wanted posters until I spotted Old Joe's Chicken Range. It had a one day job that paid a HEFTY amount of 25k emeralds. I went into the bathroom, and changed into my casual clothes, as I didn't want to be burdened with the misfortune the jacket brought. Even if I did wear it, I was going to become a sweaty weeb, so I'd best not

 _I don't need to fuck up the job as Shadow, so I should just be myself for a while. Wait... Something is definitely up if he is paying that many emeralds... I hope it's nothing illegal..._

I started my walk down to the range, which was pretty short as the outskirts were pretty simple to navigate, signs being plastered all over the place. The range was pretty large, maybe harboring about 12-14 acres of land. There were chickens in coops, chicken tepees, and cages. On further examination, they were Earth chickens, and memories of working on my family's chicken farm came flooding in.

 _Shit... Hope he knows how to deal with them._

I watched as a blocky old man came up to them to feed them, but was immediately kicked by it. I walked up to him and greeted him, he was surprised by my presence.

"Oh my! Is someone here? Are you here for work?"

"Yes I am, I'm pretty skilled in dealing with chickens, the ones of this species especially."

"WOW! I actually needed someone to teach me how to deal with these new chickens, as I had just replaced all the old chickens last week."

"I can teach you the basics if you want."

"Yes, you will be paid well if you do! Shall we get started?"

I started to explain that it wasn't a good idea to eat the roosters as they were harder to clean, and had less meat to eat. I went on to explain their breeding habits, and biology, as to help him in the breeding process. He was interested in their cloacas, and their ability to retain male sperm for up to five days. I then explained the process of incubating eggs, keep them in a slightly humid area, around 100 degrees Fahrenheit, as to imitate the mother's bosom. Then I finished up explain how to feed them a corn, grain, and seed heavy diet if they were for consumption, and a mixed diet with more bugs, fewer seeds, less corn, and the same amount of grain as to keep them healthy. I left out the dealings with parasites, as that was unneeded, and just reminded myself to teach him about dealing with the chickens. The basics of keeping roosters apart, and putting their water cups just on the outer edges of their habitat so they don't spill it.

"Here's the 25,000 Emeralds I promised. Thank you so much for helping me with these chickens, they are harder than your normal chicken."

He handed me a small pack of 25 emeralds, and felt kind of ripped off because it was only 25, but decided to play nice.

"No problem, but I should be thanking you for giving me this much. Are you sure you can afford to give me this much?"

"Yes, as I'm a very rich man, as I only get what I need. I have about 27% of The Villa's Emeralds in my possession, and that's out of 244 million Emeralds."

"How did you guys mine up so much emerald?"

"Actually, there are two types of Emerald, crystalline emerald, and runic emerald. Runic emerald is about 1 emerald, as a real crystalline emerald is about 10,000 emeralds."

"Ok, thank you for letting me know! I felt like I was robbing you if you paid so much you know?"

"Oh, don't need to be so honest! I appreciate the fact that you would help me, youngsters these days don't help me except for Ms. Rosa. She tried to help me, but she didn't know anything about these bad boys. Luckily, she has a skin of iron, or she would be bleeding from the constant kicks with their spurs."

I felt relieved knowing that this world didn't break logic and the law of conservation of mass... I also felt relieved knowing that there were two types of Emerald, seeing that he had paid me in 25 REAL emeralds. Yes, they were shaped and colored like the one in the game, but it had the see through qualities and toughness of an Earth emerald. I decided to find a place to sleep before anything I did anything else.

 **-0-0-0-0-0-**

 _Oh shit! I actually found a place I can sleep in for free thanks to Rosa once again. She let me sleep in the servant's living quarters, despite me being too honest._

That night, I had decided to mock up a sketch for my greatsword with a bo staff for a sheath. The bo staff part of the weapon was made of obsidian, and the blade of the great sword hidden inside would be made of runic diamond. To transition the weapon into the greatsword, an embedded button would have to be pressed at the bottom of the concealed greatsword hilt, disengaging the internal locks in the sheath, all the meanwhile the sides of the hilt popping up to make a hand guard for the hilt. To return to the bo staff, just put the sword back into the sheath. The whole thing should weigh the same as it's iron and steel counterpart, approximately 7-8 pounds. Some would argue that obsidian is brittle and weak, but this is Minecraft obsidian, a hard as fuck malleable stone that is BADASS. This is the same for diamond, so SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Hopefully, they won't have a hard time because they have magic to do that bullshit rather than springs and hydraulics...

I started following the signs towards the forge. Once I stepped in, the forge looked with iron golems and villagers forging and enchanting. I walked up to the counter and presented my sketch sheet. The blocky iron golem looked at me in confusion and handed it to the villager besides him.

"This will be difficult and will cost a lot. I guess it's going to cost about 25,000 Emeralds. Are you ok with that?"

I nodded in understanding and watched as the iron golems went to work on the obsidian sheath. The villagers would craft the basic block body of obsidian, and the basic diamond blade looking like it would usually do, then they would let the iron golems hammer it out. After a couple of hours of smashing and refining, they had a good cylindrical shape on the bo staff and an excellent greatsword by its side. All they needed to do was work on the mechanics and the rounded edge of the obsidian. That wasn't hard at all as an old villager walked up and started inscribing runes on the hand guard, hilt, and the inside of the sheath. Soon he put an enchanted button at the bottom of the hilt and pressed it. The sword pulled the obsidian sheath over it, and the hand guard collapsed to conceal the hilt. The old villager handed it to me and started to say that to not use it for a day as it is brittle from cooling.

"Do you understand?' I nodded and the old man continued while looking down at the sheet.

"It looks like the cost fell under the estimate, if you want to meet the estimate, you can do 'all you want' enchanting?" I nodded once again and took the weapon. It was about as heavy as I had expected but way heavier than my old wooden bo staff that I had. I took it over to the enchanting table, and enchanting it took way longer than expected as each page explained the effects and requirements of the rune. In the end, I had enchanted both the blade and sheath with Unbreakable III and Magic Resist III, while the blade received Sharpness V, and the sheath Power IV and Knockback II. I put it on the counter and paid the 25,000 Emeralds. He checked them and nodded me off. As I stepped out the shop, thoughts ran through my head about things I needed to do.

 _For one, I need to be more cautious around the other mobs. I could start basic training to improve my strength, endurance, and cardiovascular endurance. That could be the next two days starting today and tomorrow as I'm heading back home. Then I'll probably start training with my weapon for three days, and then magic for three days. Then I'll have one day to start learning combos for the two combat styles. The issue at hand though is adapting. I'm fucked if I get captured by those six again, not including Herobrine of course. So I'll have to be weary, and hopefully, none of the phantoms try to give me nightmares._

I started to head towards the newsletter stand and saw a sleeping villager behind the counter. I shook him awake and he jumped a bit at the sudden shock. I asked him for an entry form for the Royal Competition and pointed to the stack beside me.

"You'll have to fill out the form and sign the agreement on the back. The map on the other side of the paper should tell you where to go. When you arrive, give this paper to the bouncer at the Social Room." He handed me the paper from the stack and sat back down. I turned and started to walk off until I was interrupted by his one remark.

"And dude... I wish you luck, cuz' you're gonna need it dude." I cringed at the thought of being beat to a pulp and walked off again as the villager put a sheet of paper on his face and fell back asleep.

* * *

 **Hey PrisonDictator...**

 **I know you're reading this you bastard**

 **I'm not just a shitpost...**

 **I'M _THE_ SHITPOST**

 **That's all I need to say.**

 **Ciao!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for not posting**

 **Uhh...**

 **Mass Post Saturday!**

 **Enjoy?**

* * *

 _I don't have anywhere to go... Where would I find a place to sleep?_

 ** _"Why don't you just go find an inn?"_**

 _'Please don't do that...'_

 ** _'Sorry. But, if you really need to sleep, then you should just find a cheap inn.'_**

 _'But I only have a couple emeralds, plus if I find Rosa, then I could sleep free!'_

 ** _'Oh. Then why don't you find the girl then?'_**

 _'Ha ha. Funny. How am I going to find her in this big-'_

I crashed into a wall, as I was way too fixated on talking to Allena. Somehow, I was being picked up by something, but I was too dazed to comprehend what was happening. A familiar voice spoke, it was muffled for a bit until I got back my senses.

"-oking for you, it's getting a bit late... We should get back before the sun sets." I nodded and she led me to this large complex in the center of the village. Inside, my room was all the way in the back, but I took to it thankfully and fell asleep instantly...

 **0-0-0-0-0**

 **Noon the next day...**

I was close to my house, the Shock marks still visible on the side of the blocks of wood. When I arrived, the house was being torn apart by endermen, and I pulled out my weapon. Before I jumped in, I decided to check out my weapon. The weapon was well done, and it felt natural in my hand, the blade not shifting about inside the sheath as I swung around the bo staff. I pressed the button and the sheath was now loose, allowing me to pull out the greatsword. The greatsword was lighter than your real life greatsword, as the blade was made of a material 2.5x lighter than iron. I pressed the button again and the sword returned to its bo staff state.

And in an instant I ran into the crowd of mobs, the group made of eight endermen. With a wide swing, I managed to strike two endermen, which caused them all to teleport away. Looking in the window, nothing was touched except for a couple of wooden planks from the wall. In an instant two strikes hit me, which caused me stagger. As I tried to regain my balance, the back of my knee was kicked, which caused me to kneel into another punch. The punch was strong enough to send me spinning through the air.

 _Why are these guys so fucking hard to fight!?_

As by sheer luck, I managed to pin down the enderman, which somehow prevented him from teleporting. Between the two spells I knew, I cast Pyromania, which caused the one under me to sublimate and two others to light on fire. As the numbers dwindled down to five, as a overhead strike killed another one, the next one knocked back by a strike between the legs. Once they got coordinated again, it was three against one; one killed by the fire, another killed by a horribly placed teleport. Two pinned my legs down as the third started to stomp on me.

Once again I cast Pyromania, but this time, they managed to interrupt me with a swift strike to the side of my head. Wielding my staff one-handed, I grabbed the leg mid-swing and pulled it down, keeping the leg straight out. With a gruesome crack, the bo staff broke the knee of the other leg, which made the creature let out a distressed cry. With my right holding it's good leg across my chest, the other two watched in fear as a now unsheathed sword went clear through the head of their comrade.

In panic, the bit my thighs, which caused me to scream in agony as blood ran down my leg.

"You sons of bitches!" With the butt of my sword, I bashed One's faced in. And for Two, I put him into a choke hold. It gargled and cried as I dragged us both into the ocean water, the half-guard that I forced the enderman in allowed me to move the grapple. It sizzled and screamed as my blood mixed with the water, the bubbling of the now red liquid a disturbing sight. Soon, a enderpearl floated with me, with me being way too tired to move. I managed to fall asleep floating in the still water, the pain unable to stop me from doing so.

 **Third Person POV**

 ** _'Are you alright?'_**

Shadow's eyes snapped open as his now aching body cried out in pain. His crusted eyes looked at his soaking wet body, the salt in the wounds irritating him ever so slightly. Weakly, he hoisted himself up onto the block of sand to dry off. Lone, Ink, and two other girls were watching him, for now what seemed to be now an hour after he had gone unconscious.

"Should we go help him?" Ink asked the three as Shadow gingerly cleaned his wounds. The only one to answer her was a girl in a black hoodie like Shadow's, her intent stare fixated on him as she spoke.

"You three got to watch him when he first arrived, so I got to play some games with him. I don't need you three messing up how he deals with it." They didn't answer her, but she knew that they were compliant as they continued to look on.

...

Soon, he had finally finished dressing his wounds, the only thing that he wore was his underwear, revealing the tattoos on his chest. They seemed to dance as he breathed, their glow matching the glow from under his bandages. He had now hung up his clothes and looted the area, retreating into his house to do his business.

"Interesting..."

* * *

 **Shadow POV**

"I suddenly feel better..." He sat almost naked on the comforter, the sound of the wind through the missing blocks almost comforting. His stomach rumbled, but eating wasn't his first thought...

 _Actually, I feel like I've forgotten someone important... OH SHIT! I FORGOT TO FEED LITTLE PIGGY THINGY!_

I pulled out a carrot and fed the Pig Pet, and once again, it now began to produce pork chops. I was running on the left over pork chops from the days before yesterday, that I totally forgot that the dude provided me with it. I swiftly apologized to the pig as I laid back down and looked at the date on my clock. It was six days until the Royal Competition, so I had to get ready.

 _FUCK ME! WHY IS TIME MOVING SO FAST? IM FUCKED IF THE COMPETITION COMES OUT FROM UNDER MY NOSE._

I looked at my watch to see it was already nearing 2:00 PM and realized that I could just rest it out. I fed the pig again, also apologizing for starving it profusely as if it could hear me. I ate the pork chop that it made me after I cooked it in the furnace.

I grabbed my weapon and walked outside to start training. First thing first, I needed to adapt to my weapon. The weapon is an extension of my body and should treat it as so. I tested my reach with the bo staff and felt it was a bit too heavy for my arm. I retracted my arm and took a swing from the right. The momentum of the swing pulled me along as I tried to swing it.

 _Damn this thing is heavy, I'm more attuned to the lightweight wooden weapons. No matter... I just have to adjust to it quickly or else I'm fucked. No way I can survive with just wooden weaponry by my side._

I proceeded to swing around my weapons until my muscle memory started to kick in. When I swung, if I wanted it to be swift one, I would flick my wrist rather than using my whole arm like before, all the meanwhile planting my foot to stop the swing as to allow me to swing again. I continued to play around with the bo staff techniques until it hit midnight. I walked into the house and fed my pig pet, relieved that I managed to get my weapon down a bit on the first day. I threw the pork chops he made into the furnace, allowing them time to cook. I ate in silence, not a single thought ran through my head.

"Actually, let's skip those three days because it gets interesting the two days before the Royal Competition."

I walked outside and decided to build a dirt platform over the water. I placed eight dummies surrounding me in a circle, and cast Pyromania, careful not to exhaust my mana.

 _Damn, I need a HUD so I know when my mana is going to run out..._

After the eight wooden dummies ignited, I stop casting the spell and cast Shock on all of them with my two new components: Chain and Channel II. I shocked all of them in a new record time of 2.7 seconds. I felt the Occulus vibrate as to tell me I had leveled up, and put a point into Freeze. I cleaned off the platform and walked on the bridge until I reached shore. I ran around casting Freeze on mobs I found, making them shiver and slowing them simultaneously. This continued until I reached my house by sundown. I was now level six with two unspent skill points, putting one into Astral Distortion and another into Chrono Anchor.

 _FUCK YES! Got myself the basics, time to get the combos and disrupts. Hopefully, I finish all of that so I can upgrade my spells and put components on them._

For the rest of the night, I would Shock the dummy hanging from my roof. The next morning, I walked back out to the platform, and built 16 wooden dummies this time, and placed a Chrono Anchor. The Anchor made a sound kind of like a gong, and I felt my heart skip two beats. I breathed in as to recover from my heart suddenly stopping, and proceeded to cast Pyromania. I kept casting Pyromania until I felt like I was going to pass out, then finally recast Chrono Anchor. My heart stopped again, and things turned blue as I was pulled back to the Anchor, going through the wooden dummy in the center as if I were a spirit. I returned to the Anchor, my heart beating normally, and felt refreshed as if nothing happened at all. I repeated this process until it was noon, and cleared off the bridge once more and went home.

I fed Sir Piggleston, the Pig Pet, and checked my Occulus. I had seven unspent points. I put one into Random Teleport, one into Dark Aura, one into Teleport Intervention, another into True Sight, one into Disarm, another into Transplace, and one more into Heal. The last four spells I needed before the Royal competition were all in Bulwark, which were Repel, Reflect, Regeneration, and Barrier. I walked over to the Occulus and read the manual on spell components once more to remind myself of what I needed to do.

 ** _7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L_**

Spell components are specialized runes applied on a spell, which are permanent and helps the spell do special things beyond its own capabilities. A spell can only have three components. Here is a list of the components:

 **Rune** : _This component allows the caster to place a rune where the spell would've struck, making it activatable later. There are three types of runes the caster can decide on that aren't pre-set, Trap, At Will, and Timed. The more Rune runes there are, the more spells you can have active, specifically one, three, and five._

 **Chain** : _This component allows the spell to chain off the struck entity or area, automatically branching off to three new areas or targets. The more Chain runes there are, the faster and longer the chained spell moves._

 **Channel** : _This component allows the spell to be cast on repeat end to end new cast times after the first, just as long as the user has enough mana. The more Channel runes there are, the faster the channeled spell cast time takes, specifically, four seconds, two seconds, and finally one second._

 **Area of Effect** : _This component allows the spell to be cast in an area of effect rather than single target or a projectile. The more Area of Effect runes there are, the faster the Area of Effect grows._

 **Zone** : _This component allows the caster to choose a place to cast out of, creating the rune first then starting the cast time for the spell. This is as long as the caster can see it clearly. The more Zone components there are, the faster the Zone rune appears at desired location._

 **Beam** : _This component allows the caster to fire a spell in a beam. The more Beam runes there are, the longer and larger the beam grows._

 **Touch** : _This component allows the caster to apply the spell in a runic form on an area when they touch, instantly activating the spell once it appears inwards_ _. The more Touch runes there are, the faster the Touch rune appears._

 **Self** : _This component allows the caster to cast the spell on themselves. The more Self runes there are, the more the spell is cast on themselves, specifically, once, twice, and thrice._

 ** _7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L_**

I proceeded to hash out all the components onto two of my spells, Heal got Self III, while Dark Aura got Rune II and Chain. I had to think over the Dark Aura, because 3x3 equals nine runes, compared to the five runes maxing out Rune would've given me. The next issue was the order in which I would level up my spells, first would be Shock, then Dark Aura, then Heal, and finally all the Bulwark spells I learn. I proceeded to walk outside, confident with my 10x EXP boost in my head to help me achieve my dream of getting the fuck out of here.

The next one of the half days were spent leveling up my spells. Here is a summary of what happened to my spells... I gained Repel, Reflect, and Barrier. I then leveled up Shock to Shock III, Heal to the max, and Dark Aura, Reflect, Barrier, Repel, and Regeneration up to II. I then proceeded to learn my combos and mix my spells with my weapon. I walked outside to the platform for the last time before I would need to take down this platform and house I built about two weeks ago. I then proceeded to learn my combos and such for the last time. I won't tell you them because that's for the MOTHERFUCKING ACTION AT THE COMPETITION!

The morning of the Royal Competition, the pain of taking down your well-built place on the beach was heartbreaking, living in it for almost two weeks felt like a home away from home. Eventually, by 11:47 AM, the house and platform were gone, returning it to the way it was before I came, except for a couple of destroyed trees and dirt blocks instead of grass here and there. I looked at my map on the back of the sheet, and realized it was a LIVE MAP! I walked around and the marker of me followed my motions. It displayed a prominent text saying I was 4.3 miles away from the Social Bar in The Dunes, so I guessed it was time to go on my journey...

As I walked, the live text told me I was slowly approaching my desired destination, retracting 0.1 miles every 10 or so minutes. The beauty of the land no longer affected me, my mind set on getting the fuck out of here before I get captured again. I started to cast Shock on random plant life, as to help me level up. By the time I reached the cave I was supposed to be at, I gained only two levels. I put one into Shock, and the other into Dark Aura. I then proceeded to walk into the long corridor that they disguised as a cave in the middle of The Dunes. They had somehow blended in a cave into this endless expanse of sand... But, I didn't ponder that fact much longer as I approached the villager dressed as a guard.

"Haven't seen you before... Do you have a form?" I handed him my form, once again reminding myself that I was Shadow. I got ready to respond to whatever he said and hyped myself up to go inside the Social Bar.

"Hmm... Shadow? Let's see, 18 years-old, don't know your mob affiliation, not a prince, wields magic and a bo staff/greatsword mix. Okay... Come on in, little one." I walked in to see that it looked like a diner, except it had the feel of a fancy restaurant with a bar. There were people already, as I was one of the last to arrive. I saw Cupa and Rosa conversing in one of the corner booths, and Lone and Squid sitting at the counter drinking... Potions?

 _Well shit... I need to decide what I need to do... There are a lot of princesses here, and of course Rot and Talon by themselves in the back. I need to decide what I need to do, sit with the boys, sit with the girls at the counter, sit with the girls I know in the booth, or sit by myself..._

I went to one of the tables in the back of the room and sat by myself. I made sure to be as silent as I could, as to not alert anyone of my presence. Suddenly, I felt everyone in the room look at me, as I sat down. Once I sat down, I hung my head down, arms crossed like a cool dude, until I looked around. All the princesses were looking at me, even the two princes.

 _HOLY FUCKING SHIT! THEY SAW ME? SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! DON'T. FREAK. OUT... I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK! Calm... Down..._

Everyone seemed to want to sit next to me but didn't. In relief, I sighed and tried to return to my thoughts until I felt someone cling to me from my right. Guess who it was? It was squiddy-bitch, and OH BOY, she squealing in delight.

"OH MY GOSH! IT'S MY FRIEND SHADOW!" I heard the whole room whisper my name, and watched as Lone, Cupa, and Rosa stand up. I started to freak the fuck out and started to cringe at all the social interaction I was going to experience. The first to sit next to me was Lone, followed by Rosa, and finally Cupa. I sat there sweating bullets as I sat in front of three girls, with a squid clinging onto my right arm. It wasn't helping that I was wearing a jacket and that the room was heated. The first to speak was Lone, she was still wearing her usual outfit, and anything she did failed to surprise me, as it was her character type.

"Hey Shadow, it's been about two weeks since we met, how have you been?" Thoughts ran through my head, wondering what to say to make me sound cool, but nothing would click. I braced myself as I decided to say the first thing that came in my head.

"It could be better, the unpredictability this world provides may finally faze me."

 _FUCK YES! IT SOUNDED COOL! THANK GOD!_

Suddenly, Rosa decided to speak, which I didn't want to hear, as her next sentence would trigger a deadly chain of events.

"Cool as always Shadow, may I ask as I didn't catch it last time we met, but what are you?"

 _SHIT NOT NOW! Fuuu-_

"Uhh... Umm. I don't really know? I just appeared on the beach one day, so I don't know what I am?" The room was suspiciously quiet as I had said that, maybe being intentional as to hear my answer; especially Skelly and Andr, who I recognized from the mod. Cupa had finally decided to speak up, even though I knew she had no memory of me except for stalking me.

"Seems really suspicious, but never mind that. I want to thank you for helping me the first time we 'met.' You managed to subdue Dawn, which most can't do."

"No need to thank me, It was all in the day's work, anyway, would you know where the bathroom is?" Cupa pointed right next to the entrance, and I thanked her. I dismissed myself and started heading towards the bathroom. Each step I took seemed to be an eternity as the whole room stared at me. What would happen next wouldn't help at all, as I approached the entrance, the six from 10 days ago popped right in.

"Oh... Look who it is... The man we found in the woods..."

 _Shit._

* * *

 **Shitposting**

 **Is the best kind of posting...**

 **Post rate will pick up in the summer**

 **Work is being a cunt**

 **Ciao!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Well.**

 **The man who imagined this mind fuck has died.**

 **RIP Jason.**

 **I can continue to write this, but my style may be different from his.**

 **Well. Hope you enjoy the rewrites for now.**

* * *

 _Shit..._

I refused to take a closer look at the six and proceeded to walk to the bathroom. Like that moment 10 days ago, I felt someone pull the back of my collar, to feel it was the same hand that grabbed me then.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I turned around to see a woman with a black creeper hoodie, with red hair. She had purple eyes and almost albino white skin. Her hoodie failed to hide her D cup breasts and well-crafted hourglass shape. She wore black stockings and blue booty shorts. And guess what I'm about to say... She had an anime-like face... Again I was thankful that she took off her creepy ass creeper mask.

"I'm going to use the bathroom... Now would you please excu-"

Instead of grabbing my collar, she turned me around as to make me face the six that just came in through the entrance. Once again, I saw the six from the woods. Obviously, there was Herobrine's daughter Hera, the Ender Creeper girl that grabbed me, the Lone Phantom Wolf, and the Skeletal Dragon dude. The other two were hard to differentiate, there was the floating elemental that looked like Xerath and the thing with the cloak and horned mask. I felt a shiver go down my spine as I looked at the two of them.

"Who do you think you are trying to walk away from us?"

"Well, you were the one who stopped me from going to the bathroom and properly explaining myself. So if you would PLEASE allow me to go to the restroom, that would be greatly appreciated."

I turned and walked away, all the meanwhile putting my hand in the air as to say a temporary goodbye. I stumbled into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, taking off my hoodie and mask. I turned on the lever and washed my face with the water, helping wash the beads of sweat on my face. I looked up at the mirror and gave myself a pep talk in my head.

 _Fucking Christ dude... Okay. This is the plan. We're going to get on good terms with the six pricks, by maybe treating them or something along those lines? Maybe a couple of drinks? Maybe not alcohol, but cold drinks... Okay, I'll ask the bartender if drinks are free or not. If they're not, I can use the 3,000 Emeralds Rosa gave me as a parting gift. Maybe I could even get rounds for everyone in the room... Okay. Okay. Okay. DON'T. FREAK. THE FUCK OUT. Let's get the fuck outta here fam._

I then turned off the water and walked out of the bathroom, not before putting my mask and hoodie back on. I saw the six conversing right outside the bathroom door. I decided to disturb their conversation while I still had the confidence to do so.

"If you want to talk to me about something, talk to me at the counter. Come on."

I took a seat at the counter and beckoned them over, all the while, thoughts ran through my head. Before that, however, I noticed that the villager working at the counter wasn't scared of being in the presence of mob princesses, instead, he looked like he couldn't give two fucks about that and just wanted to be paid them precious Emeralds.

 _Okay... I'm going to sound like a fucking dumbass if I ask the bartender 'Are the drinks free here?' Like... WHO. IN. THE. HELL. DOES THAT? Whatever... Let's just go with the flow from here on out._

I saw the six start to get seated, and I turned to the barkeep to whisper:

"Are the drinks free here?"

"Nope, they cost higher depending on the rarity of the drink, that is."

"How much is a round of drinks?"

"I can do you one better, my brother in arms... free drinks 'til the transport comes for 1,000 Emeralds."

I slipped him the true emerald and he nodded me off. I saw that the six were all seated, but decided to interrupt the endercreeper girl as I stood up and turned to the Social Bar.

"HEY EVERYONE! Free drinks on me 'til the mine carts come!"

Surprisingly, the room cheered, and I sat back down. I turned to the girl I just interrupted, just to see she was flustered. It was more of an angry look rather than being flustered but it had the feeling of it. You know? I smiled as I saw her friends order drinks and such until she stood up and locked eyes with me.

"You know what? I... I. I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL."

 _FUCK A BLACK MAN! HOW THE FUCK DID I FUCK THIS SHIT UP? Fuuuuck me... You know what? I promised myself I would go with the flow, so let's go with the flow..._

"Fine... Let's go somewhere we can fight."

She strode off in the direction of a room called the Brawl Room. Why they had that room, I had no idea, but it was there and it was fucking LARGE! Inside looked like a metallic basketball court but without the baskets and such. I stood in one of the circles, looking down as to say my final prayer before I die.

 _Heavenly Father, I know I've messed up the past month, and that I haven't spoken to you in a while, but... I hope you can give me the strength and courage before I die a gruesome death. Please welcome me to the golden gates that you call Heaven, as I face down my worse fear with the weaponry of God in my mind. And in Jesus' name we pray, Amen._

I exhaled as deeply as I could, then proceeded to look up at my opponent. From what I could expect, she was in a battle ready stance with weaponry in hand. They were two black daggers, a Saxton blade, and a throwing knife. From what I could assume, she probably had a move set like Cupa, so I could probably guess her moves. I knew I wasn't going to Shock her anytime soon, so I shocked the wall in frustration, just to realize I leveled up. I pulled up my Occulus and looked at all the skill trees.

 _I could learn a new move, or I could level up my shit... Wait my friends... Oh! What's this one? Okie Dokie! Definitely this one..._

As soon I allocated a point into a spell, I saw her already beside me. I jumped back and cast Astral Distortion, as to prevent her from teleporting. She jumped up to me without the need to teleport and planted a heel from one of her high heel shoes into my kidney. I grunted in pain, and landed on my knees, skidding away from the force of the kick. Once I stopped, I managed to finish the casting time of the spell. She tried to teleport behind me once more but failed to do so, causing her to get angry. She threw the throwing knife, so I rolled to the right as to dodge it, the explosion being a creepy shade of black. She summoned another throwing knife in her once empty hand, readying herself to charge at me. I finally pulled out my weapon as I stood back up, and put my self in a defensive position.

 _Fuck man... If she keeps exploding and shit, I'm basically fucked. I'm yet to see her summon her TNT... WELP! Let's get to blocking them fucking projectiles... Which I forgot to get PROJECTILE PROTECTION! SHIT!_

Before I could start yelling at myself, Val was flying towards me at hyper speed due to her TNT jump. Remembering a quote my grandpa once told me, I planted the bo staff into the ground and started to revolve myself around it.

 _Hopefully, I don't fuck this up like I did the first couple of days ago..._

She came charging at me with her Saxton blade, and I managed to kick her square in the shoulders. She fell down and landed on her back. Quickly, I managed to stick the landing and cast Freeze on her arms and legs. She tried to get up, but couldn't as she was too slow. I walked up to her for her just to summon a Lava Bomb, creating a pool of lava, forcing me to flip away from the falling pool of lava, just to narrowly avoid it. She put a Tunneling Explosive above herself and detonated it, making a hole above her as to not get hurt by the falling liquid. She stood up as the Freeze spell I cast wore off, allowing her to once again TNT jump over the new pool of lava in the center of the field. I resisted pulling out my blade as to make sure they don't see my abilities before the actual competition was held. Instead, I held out my pole in front of me, forcing her momentum into the tip of my bo staff. As if by luck, she managed to hit me with the throwing knife right before she hit my staff, flying me backward from the force of the explosion. I continued to skid backward and found myself in a perfect position to do a heavy swing from the left. I planted my feet firmly to stop me skidding, and swung my hips right and brought it up towards the legs of the charging Val. She tripped as I landed the blow perfectly onto her right calf, then it continued to smack the inside of her left thigh by pure chance, filling the room with a meaty smacking sound.

 _Damn man, that's a PRETTY THICC thigh mang. Like DAMN that bitch as curves! Welp, not the time to be a closet pervert, but it never hurt anybody did it? OH SHI-_

I found myself falling as she used her momentum to do a partial cartwheel and wrap her legs against my face, leaving me in the internal struggle to decide whether struggle from getting swung around or go full pervert mode and look at her crotch area in her booty shorts. Soon, I found myself flying through the air and I felt an explosion above me, slamming me into the floor. I had time as I knew I flew a considerable time, but the plan was already formulated in my head.

 _Wait wait wait wait... TIME TO PULL THE COOLEST SHIT EVER!_

I heard her strut towards me, be pretending to be knocked out, making her mistakenly put her guard down like in the animes. She put her face towards me, just for me to place one hand on her neck and held her off the ground as I stood up. I turned and judo threw her into the corner of the field. And my next move was the most cliche as fuck thing you'll see. Put out my hand and shouted out "WATERY GRAVE!" all the meanwhile casting my new spell Watery Grave. I watched as she panicked, trying to reach for air, even though she was capable of breathing normally. I walked up to her as she was about to pass out from her own holding her breath, and took off my mask, and gave her the creepiest, crooked, toothy smile ever. Her eyes widened, as I put my palm on her forehead and cast Pyromania, engulfing the whole room into flames, except for the spectator area of course. Did I mention the spectator area where everyone was watching? Whatever... Don't mind that... Anyway, My opponent fainted from shock, as she was singed quite a bit. I cleared out my spells from the room and congratulated my self.

 _HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE! I DID IT! Did anyone see me land my bo staff kick properly for the first time? HOLY SHIT! I managed to whoop a bitch's ASS! WOO! I DID IT, WE DID IT! I fucking pretended to die from her bitch ass, then I EXPOSED A HO with my Watery Grave! Dude, she was like, SO SCARED, and then I felt like a badass doing the smile! HOLY SHIT I FEEL LIKE I'M SUPER FUCKING COOL! Then the Pyromania to claim victory was badass, the hand to the forehead reminded me of some fucking anime I watched! I don't remember it much, but I FEEL LIKE A BADASS!_

After that unceremonious celebration from me, I turned to look at my unconscious opponent. I sighed a bit as I felt bad for her, being defeated by a stranger, as she was supposed to be feared among most. I put myself down as I knew I cheated somewhat by taking her off guard and not actually fighting her straight on. But I dissuaded myself from that train of thought as I knew that if I did, I would have to show the crowd my abilities before the competition even started. I put her on my back and blushed as I felt her breasts press against my back. If I could describe it with one word, it was like having two pillows being put on your back, constantly emitting heat onto your back. It was the first time this happened to me, and by GOD was I about to get an anime nosebleed. I stood up and took her out of the singed Brawl Room, and put her into one of the corner booths. As people flooded out of the spectator area, I put her head on my lap as I let her sleep peacefully. Then if things weren't going haywire with my hormones, the next thing shocked me as I thought to myself...

 _MY MANHOOD! Don't betray me now! I know she is a hot woman, but keep yourself DOWN! BY JESUS' NAME PREVENT LUST FROM RUINING MY REPUTATION! Holy shit, don't you FUCKING DARE!_

The internal struggle came as I tried to keep down a woody, then saw a bunch of people come up to me. The group consisted of Rosa, Cupa, Ink, Lone, and the other five other members of her party. At the time, I had completely forgotten about the woman on my lap and went to face the large group.

 _Fuck dude, these five. They're probably here to beat my ass for beating one of their friend's asses. Welp, I knew I was going to die, but not like getting mobbed or something like that. At least I prayed before I died fam._

I braced myself for a punch to land on my face but felt someone pat my shoulder. I turned to see the skeletal dragon patting my shoulder, standing along side the cloaked figure, Ink, and Rosa. The other two members sat in front of me in the booth along with Cupa and Lone. There was an awkward silence for about a minute or so, so my anxiety died down. I was about to let more thoughts run through my mind until the only man next to me finally said,

"Sorry about that dude, she typically wants to look cool, so she does that time to time. Besides, we'll start to introduce ourselves. I'm Drake the Skeletal Dragon, standi- I mean, floating beside me here in the cloak is Ki the Gearhead. Ki can't seem to transform out of her True Form and refuses to talk as her voice would probably scare others. Now that I've introduced you to Ki and I, why don't you guys do the same?"

I turned to the three sitting in front of me, to see the three introduce themselves from left to right.

"Hi! My name is Siv, you probably know me as the princess of sliders!"

"M-My name is... is. is"

Her volume slowly decreased, as I tried to lean in to hear her better. Suddenly she shouted out her name.

"LYKO! Oh my! I'm super, super sorry! Did I hurt your ears? I mean, I can help you if you want? Do you want me to? I. I. I mean..."

"No, I'm fine. You don't need to say anything else, as I can tell you're incredibly shy. From what I can assume, you're the Lone Phantom Wolf, and sitting beside you is Hera the princess of phantoms. Now the question is, what's ender creeper girl's name?"

I looked at the blushing Hera, the shy Lyko, and the upbeat Siv all in their own worlds. It would be safe to assume they wouldn't answer that question for me. So I turned to Drake, for him to answer that question for me.

"Her name is Val, I assume you're not thinking of anything bad while she's sleeping on your lap?"

I freaked out as I remembered she was sleeping on my lap, as I instinctually was petting her hair. Once again, the internal struggle came as I tried to prevent my friend from rising up. I looked up to see all the cute anime-like faces around me and my heart rate picked up. The situation down there was going horribly, as I turned to see Hera blushing even harder.

 _SHIT! I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT PHANTOMS CAN READ YOUR MIND! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! HERA! PLEASE! Just... Just. Don't read my mind man! I don't need you doing this right now? FUCK ME! Okay okay okay okay... Would you be as so kind to not read my mind without my permission okay? OKAY?_

I looked at Hera once more to see her nodding her head quickly in agreement, and I let out a sigh of relief. It felt better knowing that the six weren't complete dicks and that I can try to befriend them. Maybe not Ki, as she's unable to speak, but maybe with the rest, I could manage to. Things were turning for the better until I felt Val shuffling around, I looked down and she was looking into my eyes, and she started to turn red as I returned her gaze. She sat upright in a matter of seconds, once again returning the FUCKING CLICHE FEELING into the area. She sat to the right of me against the wall, so she couldn't get out without me getting out first. She was twiddling her fingers, bumping her knees against one another, and avoiding my gaze. What I hadn't noticed that every single person in and around the booth started to get closer to us as to observe what I would do next.

 _Please don't fucking tell me that she has a crush on me? Hopefully, she's just embarrassed that she got her ASS whooped! Wait... Why am I in this cliche as fuck situation? Now everyone wants to befriend my ass, and now this bitch maybe has a crush on me... But damn that woman is thicc like she made that meaty smack with just her thigh, and she has curves like a motherfucker! Wait... Why the fuck am I thinking about this? Calm... Down... I can do this... Just chill... Go with the flow._

"Now that I know everyone around me currently, I would like to introduce myself to you all. My name is Shadow, I currently have no mob affiliation, and... AND WOULD YOU ALL BE AS SO KIND NOT TO CROWD ME? BARTENDER! GET ME SOME WATER OVER HERE WOULD YA?"

The bartender nodded and the group that was crowding me backed up quite a bit. I heart rate went down as I recomposed myself once more. I looked around and thought "Why the fuck not?" And let everyone order their own drinks. I let all the drinks come in, comprising of different liquids like ender liquid, water, and other weird things, finally cheering before we started to drink. The next hour or so went on without a hitch until the bells rung, signaling us to board the modified mine carts. They looked more like a rollercoaster ride that looked like a mine cart rather than the opposite. We all got in and were soon put through a portal, instantly teleporting us to an almost blinding white land with a black castle seemingly floating in the center of it all, large room-sized blocks floated around it. We thought we were going to crash into the castle gates, only to open our eyes to realize we were already in the throne room. We all dismounted the mine carts and they disappeared, practically forcing us to be alone in a room with the one and only Herobrine.

 _Welp... Time to see the backlash..._

The thing was that the backlash was worse than I thought, more than half of the crowd was quivering in fear, the others were averting their gazes, while only me, Ki, Xera, and Hera were totally calm. Herobrine couldn't help but sigh as he stood up and created an illusion concealing himself, making him seem like a totally different entity. Seeing that didn't help, he cleared his throat and started to speak out to the crowd with the voice of my good ol' dick of a friend, Vennoc.

"Greetings everyone! Please don't be on such a guard! I have no intent to harm anyone in this room! Please, stop shaking and let us be happy! Anyhow, right now. the room passes and numbers are being given out. I have nothing to say right now but to enjoy your stay. Oops! I forgot to say something, there will be a poster saying the teams that you are all on! Make sure to check that out by bedtime! You can all relax until dinner, everyone but you Shadow."

Everyone turned to me, even the one who didn't know me because I was pretty sure that they all knew each other. I sighed as Herobrine dismissed them all, allowing them to make curious, suspicious, and worried looks. I walked up to Herobrine and did a little bow as to accentuate his royalty.

"Thank goodness you're okay Shadow, I heard you got in a fight and was genuinely worried that you might have died because you were human. OH! Also, the six tried to delve deeper into why you were stalking about, so I covered for you as to not let them find out you're human. No need to thank me of course."

Despite his saying so, I thanked him and asked if I could be dismissed. And in turn, he did end up dismissing me, and I looked around for my room, which was 105. On my way towards the hall which held 'The 100' rooms, I passed by the poster Herobrine spoke of and read it.

* * *

 **Official Teams**

 **Team A:** _Hera, Xera, Ki, Drake, Val, Lyko, Siv, Amorra_

 **Team B:** _Rosa, Iris, Lone, Kitten, Maria, Hilda, Lich, Mina, Rot_

 **Team C:** _Cass, Natalie, Andr, Blazette, Charlotte, Matilda, Skelly, Cupa_

 **Team D:** _Terra, Margaret, Talon, Shadow, Ink, Sylvia, Silk, Willow_

Please note that we refuse to change the teams despite anybody's opinion...

* * *

 _I fucking bet that Vennoc did this, he was promised one favor in exchange for the overpowered exp boost. Welp... Seems like Team A's abilities are hidden, Team B is hopelessly overpowered and Team C is there just to fuck you over with arena control, while we Team D... Well... We're fucked in a sense._

I looked down the hallway and noticed there were portals rather than doors leading to our rooms. The mere fact that there were fucking room sized blocks outside left me to conclude that they were our rooms. i sighed and started looking at the signs slapped onto the sides of each portal. Every 5 blocks or so, there would be a new portal, so I just walked until I faced the fifth portal in the hall, which read the magic number: 105. I hesitated a bit before jumping into the weird portal that stood before me, just to realize that the room I was in reminded me a bit of my old room before I teleported into this blocky world. There were the same old clothes shoved into a basket which laid in the corner, books, manga, and such were stuffed under my bed, and finally, my laptop sat on the desk like it did. I grabbed my laptop and hopped into bed.

Shit man… They even have the same old fucking dog smell in the comforter as well… Whatever, it's still close to home.

I tried to turn on the laptop, but sadly, it didn't turn on, so I threw that aside. I tried to open up the books but it didn't open, so I threw those aside as well. I laid in bed thinking about things back at home. Time seemed to fly by until an announcement rung through the room and halls.

"The time is currently 7:30 PM, and you won't have assigned seating during dinner. However! Please sit with your teams just for this one day to accustom yourselves to each other before the official start of the contest comes. Thank you for listening! You may start heading down to the dining hall now."

"Fuck a midget man…"

I stood up, left my staff and bags in the room, put on my hoodie and mask and headed out, but not before I checked myself out in the mirror. Two gray eyes stare back at me, I looked cool with only my eyes exposed to the world, my black attire helping that fact. I shrugged it off and opened the door and stepped out. When I came out, I flopped onto the floor, completely forgetting to step down a block, as the portals are precariously one block above the floor. I pushed myself up off the floor and looked at the billboard again for the directory. I couldn't help but keep stealing glances at the team poster as it triggered me a bit. Before I built up the urge to punch something, I started my journey through the halls and headed towards the dining hall, which was seemingly surrounded by a maze. Luckily, I found Ink and she was just sprinting through the halls, so I decided to join her.

"Hey Shadow! Are you heading towards the hall as well?"

"I think that's a bit obvious don't you think? Do you even know where you're heading to?"

"Yep! Next left should be the dining hall's double doors!"

And guess what? She was right, a big set of dark oak double doors stood tall in front of us and I decided to push them open for Ink because as we all know, common courtesy… Inside it looked like something out of the Harry Potter movies, in the seats, the majority of the participants sat. I saw the other three groups chatting freely, while my team… Well… They were so fucking silent I swore not even a knife could cut through the tension. Things were chill among the other teams as I eavesdropped a bit on the other conversations. Team A was talking about team tactics like the try hards they were, Team B was arguing about what was better pork or beef, and Team C was just chatting about their everyday ordeals. I sat next to Ink, and she tried to pull my attention to her, but I ignored her. I store at the other members of the group, and man were they, not lookers. Once again, I saw an anthropomorphic dragon, which I could only assume that was Talon, the two girls which looked like their mob talker counter parts were the two spiders Willow and Silk. The twelve-year-old in the corner was definitely Sylvia, and the two slimes girls bickering and bitching were obviously Terra and Margaret. I sighed as I continued to observe them.

 _Damn man, why the fuck does Talon look so annoyed? Why the fuck do Willow and Silk look uptight? Someone tell me why Sylvia is freaking the fuck out? Is she nervous of all the strong competitors on the enemy teams? Is she shy? God knows why man… Terra and Margaret are oblivious to everything because all they do is bicker and bitch. And finally, when will this bitch shut the fuck up?_

"INK!"

"Yes?"

"Would you please answer me this?"

"Yes?"

"Would you please stop talking?"

"No."

"Will you ever stop talking?"

"No."

"How do you feel about our team's strength?"

"I don't know."

I started to pinch the base of my nose in irritation and felt my heart rate pick up out of anger. I was about to up and leave the room until someone slammed their palms into the table in front of me. I stopped my tangent and decided to slowly open my eyes once more, trying to ease myself before it all came down crashing on me... I looked up to see Val once more, only for me to let out a more audible sigh.

"I challenge you to a rematch!"

 _FUCKING CHRIST! WILL THIS DAY GET WORSE?_

* * *

 **Yeah.**

 **Ciao.**


	8. Chapter 8

"God DAMN IT WOMAN! Right now ain't the time to be doing this kind of stuff! Keep your composure and please make sure not to make such a commotion in the hall, please? Because, I... I of all people am tired of all the bullshit as of late..."

I said that to her face through gritted teeth, with her shirt collar in my right hand. I let go of her, and brushed myself off, seating myself once more.

"Anyways, please don't make such a commotion, other than that, please wait till the matches to duel me okay?"

She nodded swiftly and walked off, turning down her gaze as if she was already defeated. Thankfully, nobody heard what I said to her, as it was blatantly obvious that they were all in their own worlds. I stood up, took a bread stick or two, and up and left the dining hall, once again going through the seemingly endless maze towards my room. At about fifteen minutes, I finished the second bread stick that was just hanging from my mouth. I couldn't help that the tough fucking texture prevented me from eating it in a mere minute, but I decided to ignore it. Swallowing, I thought back on what I should do when I get back to the room.

 _Maybe when I get back, I should just eat the pork chop my pet pig gave me, or should I just grab out my laptop and listen to my playlist? Oh, what abou-_

Just as I turned right, a figure tackled me straight to the floor and sent us both skidding across the seemingly over-polished floor. We skidded for a good 10 seconds or so until we hit a pillar further down the hallway. I looked down to the figure in my arms and found it was Val who had tackled me. I sighed and decided to confront her about the situation that we were in because obviously, she was up to something again.

"Val… Why did you tackle me?"

...

 _No response. I can probably guess what she wants._

"Well... You've managed to piss me off quite a bit, but not so much as to force my hand to take on your rematch or challenge you to a duel of my own."

"Aww…"

I couldn't help but sigh. I couldn't believe this was the woman who murdered everyone she encountered, endlessly teleporting to God knows where. She was so weird, like some kind of unattended nine-year-old… The more I thought on that subject, the more irritable I got. My eyebrow twitched in reaction as I simultaneously got up and tried to walk away before I punched her square in the jaw.

I didn't want to hit a woman, because hitting a woman is unsightly and against human moral code, even though I've hit her before… **Sorry, not sorry.** This was the desired train of thought until she grabs on to my right leg like a four-year-old riding her father's leg. I looked down to meet her gaze, to see her failing to do puppy dog eyes.

"WHAT?"

"Well… Can we hang out?"

 _GOD DAMN THIS WOMAN IS BIPOLAR AS FUCK! My question is, of course, is why did THIS woman suddenly decide to ask me out all of a sudden? Like, please don't fucking make this a cliche fan fiction man… Do I need to cuss you out again Minecraftian gods? Because I will if I have to! I don't need this right now because right now I need to get the fuck out of your crappy ass world. God damn it man…_

"Umm… Not right now, I'll think about it okay?"

"Okay!"

"Now would you please be as kind to release my leg this instant?"

As soon as I finished the sentence, her death vice grip released on my leg, and I didn't want to delay, so I sprinted towards my room in an instant. Not surprisingly, she tried to tackle me down once more so she could interrogate me, but I was a bit too quick for the titty girl over yonder. I can guess what y'all are thinking:

'Hey Jake! You ARE gay man!' or something along the lines of:

'Damn man, he insists that he's not gay, but he sure has a mean dislike for women…'

First of all, I didn't want to be associated with these mob princesses so I wouldn't start political tension or some dumb shit like that. Secondly, that woman is just too immature for me, so… yeah. Anyways, I started to write down some ground rules for myself, all the meanwhile jumping through the portal and I couldn't believe where I ended up. The room I ended up in was an exact copy of Cupa's room, and you could tell that it was because of all the fucking figurines lying about.

The sheer amount of panic that welled up in me caused me to enter fight-or-flight mode. My body chose the most retarded choice. TO FREEZE. After a good minute of breathing deeply, I finally calmed down enough to force my legs to move. I tried to get out of her room, but as if by coincidence, the door spits out the one and only Cupa. I braced myself for what was about to come and guess what came? You guessed it! It was the look of a frightened and shocked woman, and I was not about to stay around and see how loud her screech is…

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE MAN! GOTTA BE FAST AS FUCK BOY!

"IM SO SORRY!"

I shoved Cupa aside and opened the door as quickly as I could, and ran into the light it emitted as swiftly as humanly possible. I looked at the portal number and realized I overshot by three, as I was in room 108. Before I had even managed to realize my mistake, I had decided to hide in my room. I strode towards my room and jumped in the portal. Once I was spat out, I locked the door as to ensure I don't get hunted down with a curious or angry princess or group of princesses because there was nobody like me in the universe who hated social situations with a passion like I did. The struggle and stress went into my head, and I gave myself a good hour or so to think about things before I put myself to sleep.

 _Fucking Christ man…_

* * *

 **Cupa's POV**

I was so shocked to see Shadow, the man who everyone was talking about, inside my room, standing there seemingly getting ready to leave. As soon as my face started to turn red, Shadow pushed me aside and shouted out, "IM SO SORRY!" and darted out the door with supersonic speed. I helped myself off the floor using the wall, and my face started to get hot wondering what he was doing in my room. But I had to hurry back, so I grabbed the spare shirt for Skelly and headed back towards the dining hall.

I returned, and the whole room was staring at me because I had opened the doors a bit too loudly. Then they started to lean in closer as I soon realized I hadn't stopped blushing. I rushed to my seat and sat freely next to my group. The fact that the whole room was staring at me didn't help me stop blushing, in fact, it made me blush even harder. I looked around the room and could already see the dumb grins on a majority of my curious friends' faces. The first to break the silence in my group was Skelly. The fact that the life of the party was ironically indeed, the skeleton princess.

"So, what's up Cupa? Something the matter?"

"O-oh… Nothing really! Nothing!"

"So?"

"So?"

"The shirt?"

"Oh…"

I handed the spare shirt to Skelly, and she put it over her small gray vest. She then put her arms under her shirt and undid the zipper without looking down whatsoever. She then takes off the vest without revealing her you-know-what…

"What did you need that shirt for Skelly?"

"Umm…"

She blushes as she turns away, I couldn't tell what she was thinking because social cues weren't my forte. Once again, my friends picked up the hint and started teasing Skelly about something that I would probably care less about. I, in turn, was too preoccupied in my head thinking about Shadow in my room. Why was he there? When did he get in? What did he see? All the questions that could be asked flowed through my head, until I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned to see Hera and Val standing there, and one could assume that Hera read my mind. Despite that, Val decided to speak up first.

"Seems like you're thinking of Shadow."

Even though I knew it was coming, I still felt embarrassed, blood flowing into my cheeks at quite the rapid rate. I heard a chuckle from someone in my group, and I turned back to Val.

"Calm down… We haven't read your mind… Yet. Because the only reason you would be blushing is because of a boy, and we all know Rot and Talon aren't in our interests."

"Well… I-"

"So what happened with Shadow for you to be this shade of red?"

Thinking back on it made me even more embarrassed, even though I knew it wasn't that extravagant or embarrassing of an event. Shadow being in my room by accident wasn't embarrassing in the least, but the sheer THOUGHT of him being in the room embarrassed me. I just wanted to stop thinking, as my thoughts seemed to dig my grave just a bit deeper each time they came. Val once again snapped me out of my internal struggle as she spoke once again.

"Well… To be truthful, I may have accidentally spoken my mind a bit too quickly in front of shadow, and sort of asked him out."

Unluckily for her, she said that a tad bit too loud and you could feel the jaws drop from all the girls present except for a select few. I felt that it was my chance to leave, so I slipped through the commotion and headed back to my room. Once I made it into my room once again, I saw a little slip of paper on the floor and picked it up. I started to read it, soon realizing it was Shadow's.

Note to self:

Don't screw up...

Don't die...

Don't hit on the girls...

 _So Shadow's more on his guard than we thought… Well, I hope he is okay at least…_

And with that, I drifted to sleep, with thoughts once again dancing in my head.

* * *

I woke up, and boy did I feel exposed not wearing Shadow's clothing, even though I was in my room all alone. I was wearing my casual clothing because I had never used pajamas in my life, so the question was: Why start now? I got up and looked at the copy of my room.

 _It looks like home, but it doesn't feel like home. Bruh, I wonder if I could start speaking a bit like the locals down back home? Nah, this ain't Hawaii, they'll probably think I'm dumb._

Once again, I sidetracked myself as I subconsciously started to put my clothes on. Today was the first event, and boy did I hope its capture the flag because your boy doesn't want to engage in death matches any day. I grabbed my shit and go the hell out of there. I looked at my watch and saw that it was around breakfast time, and headed down to the dining hall. As one would expect, everyone was already there, earlier than the human of course… I sat down by myself on a table and looked at the menu in my hands.

There were your usual vanilla foods, and boy did that seem dull. I then decided to walk into the kitchen to see what it was all like, and boy was it weird. The kitchen was just full of shadows and floating kitchenware. I decided to grab some kitchenware for myself and started to occupy a spare table. Slapped down an iron pressure plate, which one would assume is like a frying pan, I then proceeded to put a point into Ember just to heat up this thing. I heat it up, and I cracked an egg, hoping it would give me a fry-able egg. And thankfully, God was on my side as an egg popped out onto the 'pan.' I cracked two more eggs, and just chilled for a bit as my sunny side up eggs cooked. I decided to grab a pork chop my pig pet made, and cut it into thin slices of bacon.

 _Holy shit, I'm SUPER thankful God was on my side because if I couldn't eat something different from the fucking usual vanilla foods, I would hang myself. Just one thought, however, I want spices and shit so I can up the flavor of my food. Damn, garlic salt and pepper sound good right about now._

I put the eggs onto a plate, still thankful the phantom chefs haven't seen me yet or approached me, and proceeded to put my bacon slices onto my pan. By the end of it, I walked out the kitchen with a plate full of bacon and eggs, eggs both scrambled and sunny side up. Once again, I took a seat at my booth and realized I had unconsciously grabbed my bag even though I only needed my staff for the competition.

I decided that I could at least use the contents inside of my bag. There were still snacks, MREs, manga, and my laptop. I grabbed my laptop and untangled the black headphone cord wrapped around it. After I placed the headphones on my head, duh, and then I pressed shuffle on my Basics playlist. I ended up listening to _Lovesong_ by _The Cure_ , and I ate the eggs and bacon with the salt and pepper from my left over MRE condiments. As the guitar's final chord struck, and the three-minute song was fading into the next, I looked around the room to see everyone staring in my direction.

 **...**

I was confused until I saw a woman with a bit too big of a chest walking towards me with a white shirt which refused to touch her hips because guess what, her chest was preventing it from doing its job. Then she wore a gray short skirt, gray stockings, and a gray skeleton hat. From my memory, it was safe to assume that this was Skelly, and from the reasoning that she was wearing skeleton stuff, so… Coincidentally, my laptop started to play _Skeletons by Stevie Wonder_ at that exact moment, and with it came bad memories.

 _Fucking great, are you going to start doing this again, my good sir? Are you going to start trolling me like that one time you started to play Sexual Healing_ by _Marvin Gaye when I was talking to that one hot girl? YOU caused a shit ton of badly timed coincidences as my headphones came unplugged, and you started to play the next song played on my playlist, as I had hopelessly forgotten to mute you which I usually did just in case YOU entered internal speaker mode. In turn, I'm going to do this to you, just in case…_

I completely paused my music, checked that no other tabs were open, and unplugged my headphones, then proceeding to hold down the volume decrease button. After I was sure there was no way that it could blast music when the gods decide to unplug my headphones, I plugged the headphones back in and wrapped the headphones around my neck. Oh, and did I mention that I had to put the headphones under my hoodie? So, it was kind of weird doing so because, well, let's just say that trying to put on headphones properly without revealing the contents under your hood is hard and awkward. Kind of like sex, BINGO BANGO. Nah jk jk, but anyways, she approached my table and I could guess what was about to come next.

"Hi, may I sit next to you? My na-"

Yep, I knew it…

"Skelly, princess of the skeleton kingdom, a relative of the wither skeletons and one of the undead princesses. You wield a bow and arrow and are one of the classic mobs. You prefer to wear small gray clothing as it allows the wind to touch your skin, as it's one of the feelings you have left. You are wearing a white shirt because you want something from me, and I guess it's probably loaned from one of your friends since your closet is probably filled with gray clothing. I assume you want to say something to me, or are you just trying to eat my flesh?"

 _Absolutely FUCKING savage…_

I felt a bit of pride as the whole room sat quiet, as mouths fell agape at my knowledge. Was I savage or was I not savage? I left Skelly speechless as I gestured her into my booth, she nodded quickly and took a seat across from me. I started to finish up my meal with bacon as she was unable to conjoin her fumbling words once more.

"Umm… I. Uh. What I meant was… The thing is…"

 _Shit, I was a bit TOO savage there boys, fine… Time to plaster on a smile, a cute one, please be the friendly smile, not the rapist one… Wait, why do I need to smile? I'm wearing my bandana mask..._

"Hey, calm down, no need to be intimidated. Don't be so serious, come on, talk to me."

That seemed to calm her down some, and she was finally able to speak again. I only calmed her down so I knew if she was approaching me with bad intentions or not. I could've cared more or less about what she told me about herself, because I already know her from the mob talker series, even though the only thing she said last time I played was "Crack." Finally, what I wanted to hear came, and I braced myself for the absurdity.

"Umm… Would you like to be friends with me? It's not like I like you or anything, but will you just hang out with me. "

Once again, a sigh escaped me, and I was left to pinch the bridge of my nose in exasperation.

 _Why the fuck am I being placed as the main character in this fucking harem anime Herobrine and the Minecraftian gods worked together to make me suffer through. I'm a closet pervert, and I would prefer a woman that doesn't have such high standing and is simultaneously a fucking monster. I say this because I don't want them to overshadow or undermine me, or even worse... Kill, rape, or eat me. Ugh..._

My eyes seemed to telegraph my thoughts as they seemed to tell her I was in deep thought, so she tried to be ever so polite, but to me, it seemed like she Blitzcrank pulled me out of my trance. My heart rate started to sky rocket and that was something nobody would want to have, especially if your heart was in horrible shape. I perked up as I saw that she was still in my booth, and recomposed myself.

"I'll tell you what I've said many a time, I have things to think about, and now you've given me something new to think about as well. I'll chill with you some time later, so excuse me for my lack of haste."

"It's okay."

She seemed to flash me a sympathetic smile, as she turned to walk back to her group. I decided to leave the hall and enter the waiting room. The room was white... Yep... Just white... The only thing that was there was a fountain with benches around it. I sat at one and waited.

 _This is going to be one hell of a ride ain_ 't it?


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm back to writing this series.**

 **I'm going to speed through the next couple chapters in the next week or so then write a couple more NEW chapters...**

 **Then dip. For longer.**

 **But Enjoy!**

* * *

 ** _"Did you forget about me? You unrefined swine?"_**

 _Ha ha ha. Very funny. You're just being a more of a bitch today just because your sister is more than a man than you. Phlegm-Talons._

 ** _"Well, at least I'm not scared of women like YOU. PLUS MY NAME IS ZENALOS."_**

 _Wait. Before we EVEN FUCKING continue with this conversation. Think about what you just said. And what I just said. FIRST of all, YOU are scared of your older sister fucking gay boi. SECONDLY, you didn't even deny that your sister is more masculine than you..._

 ** _"Sheesh. What's wrong with you today mortal?"_**

 _Nothing. But it's weird how bipolar both of us are. First we're circle jerking one another off, now were circle jerking one another... Emotionally? I guess?_

 ** _"Well, once again you should be HONORED to have a god pity you in your time of need. This doesn't seem like I'm hitting on your or anything right?"_**

 _Maybe it is: Cent-Aloe._

 _ **"Well! I'll let you know that I have a healthy relationship with a GODDESS that's WAY hotter than you can ever get! Plus you should be respectful to your elders."**  
_

 _Who's that? Your wrinkled right hand?_

 ** _"No! I'm only a couple millennia old, and it's my s-"_**

 _Sister? You into incest there fat boy?_

 ** _"I WILL ABSOLUTELY DESTROY YOU INSOLENT SCUM."_**

 _wELl i'Ll LEt yoU kNOW tHaT I GrADUatEd aT tHE ToP of the NAvy seALs-_

Before I knew it, I was already levitating above the bench, and was going to be slammed into the bench at lethal speeds.

 **...**

Well that's it. GG. That's the end of the story. Goodbye...

 **...**

 **...**

 **...**

 **SIKE BITCH YOU THOUGHT.**

I would never let Ben Affleck put splinters up my as- Okay. I have a weird obsession with things entering my anus FORCEFULLY mind you... I'll run some NEW jokes by sometime...

Anyhow, it was weird how much Zed-Main put on airs, and that was the only thought that went to my head until I instantly froze an inch away from the bench.

 ** _"ZENALOS! Didn't I tell you that he was my Chosen, and that you were to serve NO HAND in dealing with him?"_**

 ** _"But Allena-"_**

 _"NO! You've been growing arrogant lately as to how much you've been toying around with him... HE doesn't deserve such a villain tormenting him especially when he's just a human."_

 ** _"But it was-"_**

 ** _"WHAT. DID. I. SAY."_**

 ** _"Okay."_**

 _Aha. Serves you right Tsen-Abo._

 ** _"YOU ROTTEN-"_**

 _Thanks Allena, I needed that._

 ** _"No worries. All I can say now is to have good luck, and may my blessings be of aid."_**

It did cheer me up seeing the whole 'tsundere' twin brother get absolutely get Ben-Shapiro'd by his kewler sister. It helped to take things off my mind, but that didn't mean they wouldn't come back.

For the appetizers, there was some stalker girl that wants to get her jaw spun, then for the main course was that thiccc pile of bones asking for another, and the dessert was the whole harem thing. When I mean harem... I mean dealing with all these fucking GIRLS. I mean... I just need to keep in mind that in regards to age: they're like cougars in the sense of the couple hundred to thousands of year difference does have the same weight as it had before. I mean. They look young... But the goods downstairs ought to be **DUSTY AF.**

Plus as my notes say, if I go sicko mode in the bedroom, someone's going to despacito all my LP. That's the better way of saying that I'll become a spooky ghost. Or... **"Omae wa mou... Shindeiru."** Or **"You Died."** You've caught my drift.

The next few days weren't going to be easy, so I sat there… Waiting for something to happen… I checked myself thrice, then checked my weapon thrice. Nothing was wrong except for the fact that I was wearing clothes that would limit my mobility.

 _Meh. I can kick high with jeans on, this is no different._

I wrapped my bandana mask more tightly, fixed my hoodie, and pulled up my pants. Suddenly, my brain went to penis jokes, and boy the moment became cringe worthy. You want an example? Too bad! The joke is too long to put here in the story... **LIKE MY DICK**. Sort of like that.

As time passed, each contestant flooded the once empty room, finally adding some color apart from the brown benches, gray fountain, and white space. I saw my team being all awkward and I resisted the urge to act like Isaac. I felt it would've been appropriate for me to walk up to them in just a tee and jeans, with my messy gray hair and wild gray eyes and legitimately say to someone: 'I love myself a good pair of titties.' I smiled at my own awkwardness and headed towards the group.

 _Wait a minute, I don't think they mentioned Kitten inside of the book… I wonder if she became a princess after the book was released. Most likely…_

I finally reached the group and saw they were in the same states as they were at dinner last night. The more I looked at it, everyone here including myself looked like we were in an anime… I hoped that it wasn't just the world's creator's way of being lazy with details, but it wasn't time for me to delve once more into an existential crisis. I decided getting Sylvia ready would be my best shot because I won't pick a fight with a dragon, neither will I pick one with the stuck-up spider sisters. I was at the same time thankful that Ink was distracting the slime girls, and I knelt down to the shaking 12-year-old.

"What's troubles you so, little one?"

She seemed to recoil from my voice, but she shuffled in her seat towards me and decided to lower her voice for some odd reason.

"Umm… From the looks of it, I guess I can trust you, so I'll tell you the truth..."

It surprised me that she was so trusting, but I let her go on.

"Honestly, I'm scared about how bad we work together, and how we'll get demolished by the other teams."

"But that's no reason to be shaking in fear right?"

"No! I was shaking because it's freezing cold in here!"

It was stupid to jump to conclusions, so I did bite myself in the DICK *no ass joke this time* with that one. BUT! I was going to be the man of the hour. The question was:

 _Is it worth it? Umm… Hmm… Shit. I'm sure nobody's going to see this. SO FUCK IT! FOR HONOR! FOR GLORY! FOR VALOR! YOLO!_

I took off my jacket and gave it to her. She smiled thankfully and snuggled herself in it. Suddenly, I heard someone whistle like your typical catcall and I realized that I was shirtless, the only thing from my waist up was my bandana. You see, I thought the only thing that was going to be exposed was my hair, but that was off. It was slightly windy so my hair waved with the wind, but it was cooling my bare body down so I didn't mind.

Looking down and seeing how sexily chiseled my muscles were, my ego was pumping faster than I can recycle a dead meme. My slim body reminded me a bit of your average school boy, but that was beside the point. The point being that I wanted to slam my head onto a nail when I realized everyone was staring at me.

 _FUCK! I just realized I'm the only human-looking male, and on top of that, I'm attractive by human standards. I'm so BEAUTIFUL that I just want to cry in awe of myself…_

As calmly as I could, I sat next to Sylvia, getting closer as to cover as much of my body as I could, confident that people hadn't seen me. I felt two heavy disturbances in the force and turned to see Val's nose bleeding a bit and Lich on the floor with a puddle of blood near her face, leaking out of her lich helmet, covering her armor in blood. I looked around the room to survey the damage I had caused, and boy was it a riot. The majority of girls were blushing profusely, some were turning their glances away, and Blazette… Well… She had the biggest smile on her face.

 _Spooky._

I turned to Team A, and Drake was tending to Val's bloody nose. Ki was just clicking so loudly that even I could hear it from all across the room. Hera was twiddling her fingers as Siv started to tease her, Amorra and Lyko trying to be damage control of the room. Xera was in her Xerat-, oops, I meant True form and was pulsating like an alien device. Time seemed to pass so slowly until Herobrine came a minute later, turning to me and sighing.

"Boy, what did I tell you about being extravagant?"

"But, sir, I was just-"

"SHADOW! Have you looked at your body in the mirror as of late? Yes! You're obviously going to fluster the ladies' hormones quite a bit. Now get your jacket on!"

"Yes sir!"

I apologized to Sylvia as politely as I could, and in turn, she said thank you for the jacket in the same fashion. I put on the jacket as swiftly as I could and turned to Herobrine. He walked up to Lich and turned her over, turning her pool of blood into a pill and made her swallow it. He picked her up and helped her to her feet as she came to. He proceeded to clear his throat and straightened out his posture.

"Anyways, we'll be starting our second day of the competition, today the mini-challenge is the Squadron game. The rules basically are that each of you secretly selects a squad leader, and if they are eliminated, you lose. Squadron leaders, you are the ones responsible for commanding the team, as the team won't be able to hear each other except for you, if your team is defeated, then you lose. This game will take teams of four, so decide within the next five minutes. You all must tell me the lineup or else you're disqualified, so get to it ladies and gentlemen."

I turned to my team and saw that they paid no mind to that whole entire message. I decided to take command because obviously, this ain't about to work.

"I propose Terra, Talon, Silk, and Sylvia participate. I suggest that Sylvia be the Squad captain, because why the hell not?"

"Now listen here…"

I turned to see Talon speaking up, and the way that he started off his line, I'm pretty sure he thinks that he's a badass.

"Don't you go proposing SHIT if you are new here, especially if you're not proposing yourself."

The boy got a point though…

"Well, let me tell you why… We need battlefield control, and Silk and Terra have that down to a par. Then, when we have control, we need a rush like you to secure the captain. Sylvia won't get eliminated quickly as she is able to burrow underground. Margaret would just burn the webs with her magma, I wouldn't be much use since I can't fly over it all, Widow's poison is too slow to secure an elimination, and Ink is virtually useless out of the water."

"Now you have a good point, but how can we trust that Sylvia would be a good commander?"

"Y'all are just going to need to trust me. I know your dumb ass won't like it, but you'll learn to take it like the man you're supposed to be."

I heard Talon snort aggressively and I knew it was going to be a fight. I pressed the button in the hilt, and the sword was ready to be unsheathed. I mounted it on my right hip, using my right hand to grip the sword like an RPG assassin would hold duel wield daggers. I put myself into position and closed my eyes. getting ready for the untimely charge. And in a flash, I heard the shuffling of his feet, and my arm flew into action, pulling out the sword, stopping the sword as I brought the butt of the hilt to my heart. The echoes of metal being unsheathed filled the now silent room. I opened my eyes to see that the blade almost hit Talon's neck.

"Now. I'm going to say something. If you don't like it, find a way to dispute it with me in an orderly manner, rather than trying to push me up against a wall or something. Now, are there any objections?"

I looked around and saw that all of them shook their heads, I looked behind them and saw that the whole room was looking at me. Talon's face was then filled with disgust and went back into his place in the circle. However, that didn't change my mind about the commotion I caused in the room, the one just a couple minutes ago and now… I could see Team A closely observing me and my ego was fueling my previously non-existent drive.

 _Shit. I know I look badass, but I'm not that cool in combat in comparison to them. Fucking pay to wins…_

I put down my sword and decided to inspire my troops if you would catch my drift.

"Now, you may not have confidence, but we as Team D must rise up and defeat the other teams. We may be perceived as weak, but if we're cunning and intelligent enough, we will pierce through this bind with haste. Now, who's with me?"

Thankfully, my cliche talk got the desired cliche cheer as they raised their fists into the air, signaling we were ready in both ways. I walked up to Herobrine and told him our line up and he nodded. He handed me a chest plate fitted exactly for Sylvia… Somehow… I headed back to the group and handed Sylvia her chest plate. She put it on the chest plate, just for me to release a sigh of relief shortly after. The next couple of minutes went by in a flash as the four from our team were soon teleported into the field. The field was a stone fortress sitting in the middle of a crater, the next question was where the squads would spawn. Like I hoped, they spawned on the edges of the crater, allowing them a good point of view on the arena.

In the four minutes, I gave Sylvia basic tips and tricks for being a good squad leader, and she took it in like a sponge. Like I expected from her, Sylvia had told Silk and Talon to rush into the fortress with Terra soon filling the crater with her acidic gloop stuff… Sylvia then burrowed her self in the crater, which was compromised of dirt, cobble, and obsidian. Then, we got a good look at the other teams' capabilities. For Team A, they brought in Amorra, Hera, Drake, and Val. Team B had decided to go the same route as us, bringing in Iris, Wolf, Kitten, and Maria, though my biggest concern was Maria and Kitten. And finally, Team C brought Matilda, Cass, Andr, and Natalie. I knew it was going to be a fuck fest, and a big fuck fest it was going to be.

I looked around the field and saw that Matilda, Drake, Talon, and Amorra took to the skies, providing air support. What I didn't expect, however, was that Iris froze all the goop with her Frost Terrain, allowing the other competitors to survive by removing the threat of the pit. Hera was too busy enshrouding herself in the shadows, while Cass and Natalie were hiding through other means. The squadron leaders were Matilda, Hera, Sylvia, and Maria, though I doubted Team B's sanity by allowing their squad leader to rush another squad leader.

 _Shits going to hit the fan ain't it…_

* * *

 **Val POV**

 _Where is he… Don't tell me he isn't participating yet…_

I turned the corner into the next sector of the fortress, the halls being dimly lit be red stone torches. Each turn presented to me a hallway full of doors which anyone could jump out of at any time. Out of nowhere, Natalie pops out of the floor, creating an explosion that blew a chunk out of the northwestern sector of the fortress, the cobblestone she had once stored being used to block pathways as rubble. She jumps back onto one of the remaining floating blocks and starts creating her mist. Luckily for me, it doesn't affect me, but anyone underneath us is going to get corrupted.

Just as I was going to clear it with an explosion, she teleports behind me and slams me into the mist covered floor. I was soon met with underlings holding onto my limbs, and that telegraphed her next move to me. As I had expected, she slams a big chunk of ore and stone into my chest, sending me flying through the third floor and second floor, until I crashed into the first floor. She jumps down, channeling ender energy involuntarily into her heel, just for her to be tackled by a cheerful Maria. She was screaming in joy as she held her sword by the blade and jammed the hand guard into Natalie's rib. She then jumps off of Natalie's now unconscious body towards a wall and blasts it with a golden beam, landing into the now exposed room with grace.

 _Calm down, this isn't even an elimination round…_

I teleported myself back into the third floor and heard Hera in my head. Apparently, we can talk to Hera and she can talk to us, but we squad members can't speak to one another. Which I thought was just great.

"Turns out that Natalie was just eliminated. That's good and all, but… Could we start targeting Matilda? Because all she does is heal Andr and keeps turning herself invisible, and I'm getting sick of it…"

Just as I looked up, Amorra and Drake turned their attentions to Matilda who soon took notice and nose dived down towards the fortress. Just as the two were going to chase her, a giant ice wall was being flung at them, and it was most likely to land on me if I didn't get up. I struggled and struggled, but it was no use. The giant ice wall was now going to crash onto me, and…

* * *

Jake POV

BOOM.

The ice wall that Matilda summoned proceeded to eliminate an unlucky Val and Cass. Without time for us to adjust to the sudden loss, a large blizzard came along, sweeping all the people in the sky towards the frozen goop at the bottom of the pit. Unluckily, Talon and Drake fell through the frozen surface, because it was most likely that dragons weighed a SHIT TON. But, what we soon came to realize was that the acid was starting to eat through the ice, the gas and steam that it made as byproduct started to make the ice explode. When it did, the shards of ice acted as steel shrapnel, tearing through clothing and mobs. Soon, all that was left were all of Team B, Amorra, Hera, Andr, Matilda, Terra, Silk, and Sylvia.

 _Wait… What the fuck has Silk been doing this whole time?_

Suddenly, Maria was eliminated, eliminating Team B from the game… Apparently, as Silk and Maria were dueling, Maria thought that charging straight towards Silk as she cast Cocoon and Spider's Den, getting herself wrapped up in a stiff cocoon as Silk proceeded to hide in her thick webbing. Soon, everybody saw Maria flying out in a cocoon towards the acid pool and got eliminated, and boy was it a face palm well deserved. Things started to get duller as Andr seemed to keep tracking Hera, causing the fortress to continuously pulsate darkened energy. Amorra was refusing to change out of her Eagle form as she kept trying to pick Sylvia out of the ground. Finally, the spectator pool showed Terra and Silk trying to shoot down Matilda with projectiles, only for them to be reflected back at them. This continued for five minutes until Herobrine showed up to the field, freezing everybody in place.

"Dang it... You guys, don't do this, not again, not EVER again… So, we're going to go into Ultra Rapid Fire mode. Hope you all get used to it."

Suddenly a blue aura fills the arena and the contestants start fighting again. This time, however, they just started to spam the same spell over and over again, and it was hilariously dumb. You saw Matilda continuously dropping runes that exploded at about the same strength of a C4, while Terra kept summoning slimes, and boy if it was a game, we would all start lagging. The whole serious atmosphere disappeared and it was just some good ol' fun loving. Sadly, this led to everyone getting eliminated by the now unfrozen acid, leaving Sylvia and Terra the lone victors, claiming victory for Team D, even though we know that our outlast and hide tactics were a bit dick. The biggest concern the team had was the issue of how we won was morally correct, But if we wanted to have a chance to have fun when everything got serious, we needed a little push at the start. As soon as we were dismissed, the lunch call rang throughout the halls, and we all headed to the dining hall.

As usual, I sat all by myself in the corner both nearest to the kitchen. I sat there looking at my meal which I cooked myself because I don't trust the chefs enough to not poison me or make me good food. As soon as I finished my steak and potatoes, Lone walked up to my booth, asking if she could join me, I, in turn, gesturing her to do so. She sat next to me, like I expected from her eyes, still managing to keep the distance between us. What I didn't expect, however, the next set of words that would come out of her mouth.

"Nice job back there, even though you didn't participate at all. And I know is that you're going to ask how I know. I know you did something because none of your team mates are capable of creating that sort of tactic."

"That's a lot of 'know'ing, but I really don't need that sort of praise, after all, we did ruin the fun by trying so hard. In reality, I owe all of you an apology. Anyways, why-"

She was pushing her breasts against my left arm, once again, she wore minimalistic clothing, forcing me to slam my hand against my mouth in order to prevent me from yelping. I kept trying to tell myself that I was a heartless bastard and didn't get turned on, but that didn't help that I had a tendency to be a BIT influenced by girls with dog/cat ears.

 _Oh me, oh man, oh me, oh man, oh me, oh man, oh my..._

If only I had the balls to say something, I would've already, but you know, that I'm still the pussy boy 18-year-old donning a cool guy outfit. The fact that I watched anime, played video games, and did introvert shit didn't help with the fact that I was a pussy boy.

 **...**

The room fell silent, time moved slower, and Lone was still hugging me. Things moved in slow motion as the whole room started to turn their attention to us, and I had no choice but to ding dong ditch before it became a big thing. I tried to speak but nothing came out, my body refused to speak. I started to think in my head and that worked until my body betrayed me.

"Fuck me Lone- OH SHIT! You see there… Y-You know… Da kine… The thing is… What I meant was… Umm… Ya see that… Uhh... Uhh... Uh... Fuck it. I give up."

I slammed my fist into my cheek, then planted my face into the table. However, Lone pushed me over, mounting herself on top of my hips. I had never thought I would get into this position in my wildest dreams, but here I was, a wolf girl who was pretty and had good curves.

 _Damn, if only this women was a kuudere then I would be absolutely set, this would be my dream girl. WAIT! YOU STOP YOURSELF RIGHT THERE MISTER! THIS WOMAN HASN'T SHARED ANY LOVEY DOVEY MOMENTS WITH YOU! IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO THINK WITH YOUR DICK, GET YOURSELF A CHASITY BELT!_

I regretted scolding myself inside of my head as Lone starts to blush because OBVIOUSLY, sex is one of the most primal instincts an animal has. And I thought that it would be a bit too convenient if it were mating season here in Minecraftia or something dumb like that, and if it was, did each mob have a mating season or was it that only animal mobs had a mating season? The next move was to not act like a harem protagonist and act justified and cool, and I think I pulled it off quite well if I do say so myself.

"Okay Lone... You see here... The fact that I said that was because I worded that incorrectly. I don't want you to rape me, especially in this room. Now. Upsy Daisy."

I pushed myself up and placed Lone by my side, and turned to face her.

"What I wanted to say was why did you suddenly press yourself against me. It was just going to be a simple question, so excuse me for the blatant misunderstanding."

"Well... It's going to be mating season soon and I wanted a head start before any of the other princesses."

Instinctively, I let out a hearty laugh, calming myself down.

"Trust me sister, none of yall are going to get me as your mate. You two-"

"Now that's where you're wrong. All of the princesses have their corresponding mating seasons."

I put a fist next to my mouth, thinking of how fucked I am IF 29 or something girls glob onto me.

"Well, we'll see then. See ya."

I got up, grabbed my bag and staff, and started to walk out of the room with my back straight. As soon as the doors closed behind me, my body almost went limp, and I strode thankfully towards my room. Life in Minecraftia is bipolar, making me do some dumb shit after something serious and normal in comparison. The fact that life is being a dick was the most confusing factor for me, so I didn't think much of it as I was too tired to be even considered a living being.

The portal spit me out once again into the copy of my room, and I decided to set up shop because there was no way that I was going back to the dining hall again and put myself into a shit ton of shenanigans. I plopped down the crafting table and furnace, and put the ingredients that I stole from the kitchen into a double chest with an ice block that I knew wouldn't melt by vanilla means. I checked my Occulus and saw that I had some spell points, so I put one into Regeneration, one into Barrier, one into Repel, and another into Reflect.

I plopped myself onto the bed and prepared myself for an hour nap.

 _I can FEEL some plot development... But what is it?_

* * *

 **Thicc Nibbas & Anime Tiddies**

 **It's time to kick it into high gear.**

 **Also I forgot all the characters so...**

 **Ciao?**


	10. Chapter 10

**This is where the story starts to change slightly from the original.**

 **However, the general plot won't change...**

 **So Enjoy!**

* * *

*Le sigh* _ **  
**_

Getting up was a pain in the ass. Quite literally. The way I had slept was so weird that even I thought it was. During the night, my legs were dangling off the bed with the upper half of my body lying along the width of the bed. When I had awoken, the stretch one would do caused my legs to drag my body off the bed, my ass plopping onto the floor.

 _Utter bullshit…_

I got up and started to cook the usual, this time, however, I was surprised that the spices in the cloned room actually were spices and was genuinely glad that the steak seasoning and garlic salt tasted the same. Apparently, every single food item that was stored in my mini fridge wasn't fake. If only this had happened for my inanimate items, I would have had two laptops right about now. However, now that the food I had was real I could cook some comfort food. I pulled out the pans and stuff from my closet and started to GET IT ON. The eggs were frying, the steak was being grilled, the rice was being reheated, and the gravy was coming to a rolling boil. If y'all don't know what I'm about to make, I feel bad for you mainlanders. I was making myself a good ol' loco moco, with three sunny side up eggs. What I didn't expect, however, was a knock at my door.

 _How the fuck? Isn't it a fucking portal? And plus, it's around 4:00 PM. This is the time I eat my dinner, and the time everyone should be hanging out with their friends… Wait… I've been acting like nothing had ever happened in the past couple months... I NEED RELIEF! Maybe for just a second after I eat._

I finished plating my food and put the somehow clean pots and pans aside and looked through the peep hole that was JUST put inside my door. Legit, it appeared as I approached my door, looking out of the hole I saw a group of people outside. The question was not why, but how THE FUCK they even managed to find my room. Before I could even walk away from the door, a familiar voice called out to me SOMEHOW through the portal.

"Shadow! We know you're in there! Come on! Open up!"

I closed my eyes and debated whether or not to open up until another familiar voice bellowed from the other side of the door.  
"YOU BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR OR I'LL OPEN IT FOR YOU!"

I looked through the peephole to see Val pushing everybody aside and placing a tunneling explosive on my door.

"HOLY SHIT, STOP! I'M OPENING UP! TAKE IT OFF!"

I opened the door to be greeted by a large group of girls and a Val taking off a large fucking explosive from the portal. Luckily, I was good at putting names to faces though I was bad at remembering names. There was Lone, Cupa, Ink, Val, Ki, Xera, Siv, Lich, Natalie, Sylvia, Hera, and Andr. I looked left to right, then started to pinch my nose as I took in a deep breath. I looked into the crowd of girls. I started to wave my hand as if I was saying goodbye as I went back inside, telling them off.

"No. Not going to deal with this right now, y'all can do what you want, but I'm not about to take part of your shenanigans."

As soon I was about to close the door until Val stuck her foot in-between the door and the frame.

"No way, we're not going to let you slip away. Would you like to explain the scent coming from your room that Lone smelt?"

"It's food. Obviously."

"That's not what food smells like, food doesn't smell that good."

"It is. Your food probably just sucks."

 **No response.**

You know, if you were trying to be cynical and prove a point that you don't give a shit... It's hard when a literal group of women look down and grow silent. I'm still a guy you know? Why would you fuck up your chance with getting a HAREM!? Still, I would have to try keep up the farce I was putting up.

"Fine. Would you like me to show you?"

Instantly lifting her head and nodding her head 'yes' made it clear as day that they were fronting as well. I wanted to retract my offer, but it would be rude. So I headed back inside, grabbing the plate full of food and presented it to them. They seemed amazed at the sight and started to ask me questions. The questions ranged from what to how, each girl asking at least one. Now that the girls were satisfied with my answers I decided to try shut my door again, just for the door to be obstructed once again by Val's foot.

"Can we have some?"

"No."

"Can you cook us some?"

"No."

Then they started to pull the same shit and go silent. I wasn't going to fall for it again, so I tried to close the door, which any chance of was when a knife was acting like a door-stopper. In my room were currently doujins and all sort of pornographic material. Barging her way in, Val proceeded to pick up one of them and start to open it up.

"OW! Why'd you do that for!?" I had cast Shock on her hands, which made her drop the book. Soon however, my heart dropped like the book as soon as a menacing smirk grew on her face.

"Oh? What's this? Shadow's embarrassed over a book? Huh. I wonder if I were to show this to the others-" That taunting tone of hers wasn't needed for me to realize she was going to show my loli porn to the other girls. My life and relationship would be over... Especially with Natalie and Sylvia... Gritting my teeth and clenching my fist, I was going to cave in against my will.

"Can you get the ingredients?"

Tears would've started to roll down my face in shame if it weren't for the matter of my body temperature matching my anger.

 _I've become like Zenalos..._

 ** _"I'm thankful that you said my name correctly, but what are you imp-"_**

Promptly yeeting the cum r- towel onto the Occulus, that managed to silence the god of bitches.

"I think we can, what are they?"

Using an unused tissue, I gave them the full list, from the salt and pepper all the way to the gravy ingredients. They reacted the way I knew they would react, they didn't even know what a majority of these ingredients were, like rice, salt, pepper, garlic, etc. I would've expected them to fail, but once again they are the princesses. As swiftly as they could, they bolted away with Xera and Ki lagging behind.

I closed the door and took my jacket off as it was getting a bit heated from the steam my food emitted. I ate my food in peace and decided against jerking it like I had previously planned. To pass the time, I started to read the manga I had just bought before being teleported to Minecraftia. It was the collector's edition of the Monogatari Series. I was four volumes in until the group returned with cloves of garlic, industrial grade packages of spices and gravy, a crate full of Minecraft beef and a shit ton of rice.

 _Holy shit, this could feed me for the next year to come._

"Umm… I have no place to store all of this… Do you even know what all of these are? Did y'all think about this before you got this much?"

"Nope!" Val seemed excited and so the did the rest, but no one topped Val and Lone's excitement. They were both panting... Sure it was fine for wolf-girl over there but... Jesus Christ that looks just like an ahegao. All Val needed was the heart-shaped pupils and a fat dude...

Jesus Christ… Okay… How about…

I walked out of the room and opened up a closet. I gestured them into the closet and it was surprisingly colder than usual. But that was to be expected from the phantoms, cold darkened spirits doing all sorts of dank and spoopy stuff. I took the boxes and put them in a corner where the staff wouldn't see it. Somehow, I was sweating even though it was cold as fuck, and I was a little embarrassed.

"There we go."

"Umm… Shadow?"

"Yes Val?"

"You're shirtless."

I cringed a little just as I realized she was right, simultaneously refusing to look down at myself and acknowledge it. Just like Schrodinger's Cat.

 _Nope. She's just lying to me just to flick my chin up or catch me looking at a yeet hand._

"What are you talking about? Have you finally gone mad Val?"

"No... I'm pretty sure you're-"

"Okay! Everybody grab a steak each, any amount of eggs, and a couple packets of gravy. After that's all said and done, put all of it near the kitchen. I'll cook it, so wait in the hall for now, and I hope you guys don't think of something while I'm away. "

Without hesitation, each girl did as they were told, all except Ki and Xera. I was standing in front of the two girls who didn't talk at all, and it was awkward. Ki stood there staring at me and Xera was pulsating more yellow as opposed to her average blue. I felt like being a good guy for once and decided to do something about the two.

"Look. I understand just a bit of your guys' pasts, yet at the same time, I don't understand you at all. I'm a bit worried if you two are eating at all. I know I hide my face, even if I'm eating, but at least I'm eating. The thing is, you two seem to just float next to your teams while they're eating and stare at their food. Do you get hungry at all while you two are in those forms if you do, how do you two even eat?"

Xera and Ki shook their heads no and hung their heads.

"Okay. I want to test something. I'll cook you something, and I'll try to feed you both. Are you guys okay with that?"

It seemed like they hesitated a little and then nodded. I told them to wait in my room until I came back, and they did as they were told. Seeing that they lacked any proper hands to pick up items, I assured myself my helper material wouldn't be exposed...

I headed down to the dining hall and saw that everyone was there except for Rot and Talon. I wanted to blame someone, but I guess the only person that could be blamed was me. I sighed and saw that they actually had enough steaks for everyone, but the issue was to figure out how much eggs each person wanted. I had decided to do it my way and call out who wanted one egg, two eggs, and so forth. An hour and a half passed and everyone was eating.

Before anyone could even notice me, I walked out with two plates of my auntie's favorite style loco moco that she taught me to cook. It was a sweet teriyaki hamburger steak with three sunny side up eggs with a hearty serving of gravy, all covering furikake rice. I got back to the room and the two were still waiting there looking around my room.

 _How the fuck does one wait for almost two hours without something to do?_

I set down the plates and beckoned the duo over and told them what I was about to do. I was going to teleport small portions of the food into the area where their stomachs should be. They consented and I was going to help Xera first as she had no clothes, so if it did fail, it wouldn't fall onto the insides of some sort of clothing. I was concentrating and a bite full of food disappeared. I looked at Xera and she literally lit up pink and green, she tried to hug me but I stopped her before she could.

"Is it safe for me to touch you? Like, your whole body is arcane energy, so it would be bad if I got burnt, shocked, or absorbed…"

Her colors dimmed into a brown, transitioning from an orange to a yellow. She suddenly grabbed a bag full of materials and started to experiment with her energy. By the end of it all, she had tested if she was any sort of hazard to living things, like heat or electrical current. Her results said that she was a non-lethal being, so I decided to let her hug me. Oddly enough, she was warm to the touch even with the steel runic plates she had floating where her skin and clothes should be. I started to do the same for Ki and it worked. Thinking ahead, I taught them the spell and they managed to learn it. It took a couple of tries to feed themselves but they managed to do it in the end. The amount of food that they ate was about two-thirds of the plate, despite that, Xera gave me a letter saying thank you.

 _Adorable… For an elemental thingy…_

When Xera had left, it was just me and a Ki glowing pink from behind her mask. Apparently, the glow indicated mood or condition, one of the two if I had to guess. I think I had figured it out, pink was content, blue was neutral, red was anger, and all the others on my list were colors I hadn't correlated to something. Though, I could only expect that they have every single color you could think of as a condition. Then, if there was a condition for a color, then my list was perfect. Black, white, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, pink, and violet. Suddenly, three clicks snapped me out of my thoughts and I saw Ki glowing red and violet, having an eye each respectively.

"Sorry, was just thinking about something."

In response, she glowed orange and yellow.

"Anyways, how did you enjoy your meal?"

The glows turned green and pink.

"I'm going to take that as a yes…"

"So, why are you still here? Shouldn't you be hanging out with your team?"

She turned a murky blue and turned away. I grabbed her fac- MASK and turned her gaze towards me. Her eyes lit up violet.

"Even if you can't talk to your team or you don't like them, make an effort to, I believe in you."

I gave her a thumbs up and she turned pink once again. I sat back and started to think about things.

 _I just can't keep trying to read her colors in order for us to communicate, like, what if… What if there was an emergency only those two knew and they had no way to tell us… There's got to be a way faster than writing… Wait… Ki and Xera have runes… Maybe, JUST maybe… Yes… We should do that!_

"Wait, you're smart right? You have a good memory as well?"

She nodded yes, and I pulled up a PDF for Morse code I had saved atop my laptop. I gestured her to try and tell me something, and she proceeded to use her gears to make the dots and the runes to make the dashes. Even though she made a few mistakes, I could tell what she was trying to say.

Please note that the following is purposely made this way in correlation with the Morse code.

'Cmn u pndrsand me..'

"It needs a little bit more practice but I can understand you."

'Grat'

"Make sure you practice, okay?"

'K'

Her pink glow now integrated green into it. She was a pretty nice person, well, both of the elemental girls were. If they were people, I think we would've gotten along nicely.

'Sm gon 2 go ngw,.'

"It's okay, I have things to do anyway."

'Cya.'

"Wait! Before you go, thanks for keeping me company…"

She struggled with the next one, glowing a constant orange and violet as she did. After taking almost four minutes, she had perfected her Morse code speech, and I was thankful that she was trying.

'I should be thanking you, but you have things to do. Bye now.'

"Bye then…"

I watched her float out, and she looked like she was about to self-destruct, as she closed the door she started to smoke out of her mask. I looked out of the peep hole and her mask started to burn violet and she was literally FUMING. You could legitimately start smoking meat with the amount of smoke she was emitting. I thought something was wrong and decided to tap her supposed shoulder, my finger being met with a cog instead. She turned to me, trying to recompose herself. She picked up the page I wrote for her and gave it a quick scan before she looked up.

"Anything wrong Ki? You look like you're going to explode…"

'Theres nothing wrong.'

"Oh… Okay…"

I gave her one last glance and returned to my room.

 _What is wrong with these mob girls? Fucking Christ man. Even though I just woke up, I want to go the fuck back to sleep._

I checked my clock and it read 7:00 PM, my body wanting to turn into mush. I was wide awake, but my body was like, "Sit the fuck down boy, these legs gon' collapse on your ass." And, I did as my body told me, settling in and opening to the book mark in volume five. I was going to investigate a weird message take came from my laptop until my thoughts interrupted me.

 _If I recall, aren't there other mobs? This is a bit suspicious because the fact that this fucking blocky world has forgotten about its latest update scares me. Maybe, maybe there's another large piece of land on the other half of this map they don't know of. But I'll never know, so who gives a fuck?_

I opened up the laptop and saw it was a Discord notification.

 _So wait... There's internet connection... IN MINECRAFTIA!? THINK OF ALL THE PORN I COULD ACCESS WITHOUT MY ISP RECORDING IT!_

With haste I double-clicked Safari and typed into the address bar 'miss'. The first result was "Mistress Gets Anally Pounded Pt. 2". Clearing my history and silently shaming myself, in the end I decided to start watching Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid Sama. I watched the first episode, enjoying the characters for what they were. CALM YOURSELVES, I DIDN'T DO IT FOR THE TIDDIES! I did it for their personalities! Sort of?

Anyhow, I continued to watch until 9:30, putting myself to sleep after the 8th episode. My body became heavy and my heart rate slowed, my eyes becoming the weight of an iron anvil.

 _What a weird chapter in my life…_

* * *

 ***Insert closing author's note here***

 **Ciao!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry about that, was tinkering with earlier chapters.**

 **Here's your chapter!**

 **So Enjoy!**

* * *

The time was about what I would expect from my unstable sleep habits: it was exactly 3:48 AM. I had slept a total of four hours. But my sleeping habits weren't the reasons why I had woken up. I had suddenly started to think about my future, past, and present. The thought had simply just appeared in my head again like it always did. I would think the same thing every once in a while. After a moment, I would forget about it until it came to mind once more.

`Thinking on it, every thing was smooth sailing initially. However, there was a feeling in my gut that shit was about to go down. I didn't want to face the world in the state I currently was, I was still treating this like a game...

Sure I could pretend all of this is a dream, but all the encounters I had experienced so far were mere pretense for what was to come. I knew that I would soon have to fight. I've seen the malcontent in Vennoc's eyes. He wanted something, and simply pretended to smile when he was helping me. Sadly, I can only think about it as I had no way of doing something.

I've always hated myself for many reasons. One was because I thought this way. Victimization. Everything was to hurt me, but I knew that I wasn't the center of everything. But this time I knew he wanted something of me. It was just a matter of what it was... I also hated that they say that I am 'blessed' with the ability to understand and comprehend subjects shown to me. Sure this helped with my studies, but with the constant exposure of suffering, inhumanity, emotional damages, and existentialism back on Earth, I grew to hate my own race. I hated how they could harm one another and bring themselves to act apathetic towards others.

Then I grew to hate myself. I started to see that I had begun to become the bystander I hated the most. I victimized myself because I simply gained something of it. I-

was cooking _**something**_. I say something because it was just a jumble of leftovers inside of my mini fridge before it started to spoil. Basically, it was just some pineapple and pork with a side of rice noodles and an ice cream cup. Eating my thrown-together meal, the headache from waking up subsided.

 _Jeez. I really gotta stop jerking off before I sleep. That shit's been promoting some weird sleep habits... I don't know but I should probably do something._

For a good hour or so, I simply strolled through the entirety of the halls, taking into account how to get to places and where they were. On my way back from the enchantment room, I saw a small hallway to the right. Down that hall was a shower room.

 _Oh shit! Is that a mother-fucking shower? Is that a cock-gobbling, hooker-buying shower?_

I left my arm and took a whiff of my armpit...

 _That smells like the bottom of a dumpster._

For the past month, I had merely neglected to take a shower once. The closest thing I had come to showering was taking floating in the ocean and bathing in octopus blood. It was painfully obvious that I had to go get shower supplies to clean my ass **(both literally and figuratively)**. When I stepped into my room, I rummaged through my duffel bag to find a towel and other necessities.

Returning to where I came, I took the time to take a closer look at the room itself. From merely looking at the entrance, I could already tell what was going down when this place was built. There was pink overhead banner that read "Showers", paying no mind if a male (that needed to take a shower) actually existed among mob royalty. I take it back... _**If they existed at all.**_

 _Surprising._

I walked in expecting to see nothing and I was right. It was too goddamn early for anyone to be up and kicking inside the showers. However, the fact that no one was in the shower meant that there was no girl to peep at... But on second thought, it was better not to take the risk of discovering some blocky features. With no hesitation, I ran up to the shower first shower in the room. Turning the dial, the shower legit spewed hail at me. _**FUCKING HAIL.**_ And that was not to be taking as some sort of joke. The next one over spewed out water so hot, it was steam at the point.

 _What am I? Goldilocks and the Three Bears parody?_

If that thought was true, then the next one was...

 **ACID.** I barely managed to dodge it as I smelled something rancid from the shower nozzle. I had placed my wash cloth down to turn on the shower... It was dissolved to tatters. Carefully turning off the shower, as to not melt my flesh from my bones, I cautiously checked the next one...

 **...**

 _Shower number 73..._

Turning the knob, I moved aside to let the mysterious substance spill from the shower head.

 _It's clear and smells like nothing, so It can't be anything weird..._

I tossed my tattered, singed, and foul wash cloth into the spray.

 _Didn't melt... That's good._

Slowly I put my hand beneath the liquid, and my hand didn't burn off or start to swell. Plus it was warm.

 _Could it be?_

It was. It was water. A good hour and a half had passed since I had entered the shower room. The time was 6:13 AM. At that time, I had taken my first shower in Minecraftia. I proceeded to lather the top of my head with shampoo after washing my body, the shampoo turning grey from the soot in my hair. I may have hummed a song or two before I had finished showering.

 _Wait... Is that a mirror?_

Approaching the mirror, I took the time to take a good look at myself. As cocky as I am, I would say that my body was one of a runner that liked to weight lift on the side. As for my face...

 _Wait... I DON'T HAVE BLONDE HAIR. NEITHER HAVE I HAD BLUE EYES._

The color of my hair and eyes changed before me eyes.

 _What the fuck is this shit? I don't have super saiyan powers or Sharingan do I? If I did... THAT WOULD BE SO FUCKING SICK!_

Turning to check the scar that should be in my shoulder, I saw a gross black tattoo on my back.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?" I didn't recall ever staining my body with ink... Or was it that one time I blasted my ass full of drugs before coming to Minecraftia? Quickly putting on some clothes, I strode out of the showers. I should've been worried about what was fucking going on... But yet again, thinking about it would be bad as Hera could read my mind. So, I did as I usually did in life and forgot about it. I decided to walk around the place, sticking to the shadows because it felt cool. I became lost in my thoughts for a while.

 _Why would you install one hundred shower heads with only one of them being filled with warm water... SERIOUSLY? Why would you need acid, mud, hallucinogens, or anything of the sort? There are ninety seven showers filled with something that's not water!_

Suddenly, the thoughts of how I looked came back to mind.

 _This is probably not something that's to be forgotten so easily._

I was too lazy, I wanted life to do the acting for me today. I didn't want to deal with this bullshit, I just wanted to joke around with the girls. They had some cute reactions, so no matter what I did it was memorable. Slipping into the shadow besides the dining hall, Vennoc happened to bump into me.

"Hey kid, who even sticks to the shadows anymore? That's like, old man stuff."

"Ironic coming from you..."

"You've probably guessed that I'm almost as old as Herobrine, who is thousands of years old."

"That much is obvious coming from the aura you emit."

"Surely you flatter me.. But that's enough from you, why are you out so early?"

 _The way he manipulates the conversation flow is daunting. I don't have time to keep up with the mood..._

"Well, I just wanted to take a walk early in the morning."

"Ahh, are all humans like that? Like, I used to be a human but are all humans like that now?"

"I guess?"

"Okay! Well, sorry for disturbing you. And… Good Luck."

He put on his most sinister smile and dissipated into the shadow behind me, immediately after brushing past my right shoulder.

 _Spooky._

Vennoc had dropped a letter on the ground. Although the writing looked like someone smeared shit on a piece of paper, I could understand what it said.

"You have guests..."

I opened the door to be met with the usual sight of the girls (and some dudes) conversing. What was different however were there were people besides the princesses (and princes...). Oddly enough, I could've sworn that was a smaller version of Ink's dad speaking to Ink.

 _Wait a fucking second._

That same squid came crawling towards me, which shook me a bit. However, that was not enough for me to audibly scream.

"Hello there boy! I would've never expected you to be part of the Royal Competition. Surely you must have some skill!"

 _I WAS FUCKING RIGHT._

"You exaggerate sir! I am yet to participate in a match."

"Even with that you managed to best Val there in a duel!"

I had a hard time concentrating on his one eye, so it took me a while to answer.

"I was just lucky that she held back."

"Hmm. You may have a point, but you did manage to survive."

I could feel everybody looking at me, and that made me uncomfortable even in a hoodie.

 _I have to get out of here..._

"Sorry to be blunt, but I have somewhere to be at the moment..."

"No worries! You've kept your part of the promise, plus you're so polite despite me being a squid and all..."

"That doesn't matter! I just thought it would've been rude to do anything else... See you later then."

I walked out of the hall to recuperate. For one there were way too many scary looking mobs. For instance there was a bulky suit of plate mail that stood there ominously next to me. The suit easily rivaled the size of Rosa, and seemed to really strong.

 _That for sure wasn't in the dining hall previously..._

The possibility of letting me think was gone as a sharp presence came from the corner. Looking into the corner like I was in a sitcom or something, I knew something was definitely off about the corner. That shadowed corner was more dark and red than what would be considered normal. I took a step forth. I honestly felt this was a JoJo's reference as I swore there was _**Menacing**_ literally screaming in my head.

 _I swear if this is a Dio meme..._

My stomach started to lurch. I managed to place myself about a foot from the ominous presence after fighting the instinct to run. The murderous intent was stronger than a villain from **My Hero Academia**. I started to name off any villain that came to mind. They ranged from aliens like the Xenomorph to serial killers like Jack the Ripper.

 _Though it would be nice if Rule 34 would help me here just a little? If so, there's no reason to be scared... Right?_

* * *

 **UNKNOWN POV**

He reached out his hand towards me, so I instinctively grabbed his left arm. However, he pulled my arm, dragging my cloaked figure out from the shadows. He quickly brought his left palm to my other shoulder, and tried to slam me into the floor. Sad for him, I had inertia on my side as I grabbed him by his groin and twisted my hips. Almost immediately we switched dominance as he was sent flying into the ground.

Before I could knock him out with my **'Sleeping Fist'** , he rolled to the side and leaped to his feet.

"Who are you?"

He managed to keep his cool and calm tone, but he was clearly flustered.

 _There is no need to answer him. Not now._

Neither of us wanted to make the first move, so I pretended to drop my guard. As expected, he threw a nice punch at me, but that was to be expected. Flicking aside his extend arm, I managed to open up his guard and land a hook to his temple. Despite this, he only slouched a bit, but that allowed me to finally put him to sleep.

 _Jeez. Quite the fighting spirit you have there._

Being me, the only thing I could hope is that all the injuries I inflicted were superficial. Looking around, it seemed no one had noticed I had come to claim 'Shadow' this close to the dining hall.

 _Okay. Time to get him out of here._

I dragged the now limp body of this person across the stone-brick floor. Even from that quick fight I could tell that I liked the man. He was skilled, efficient, and good-looking, even if I do say so myself. Time seemed to pass so quickly as I couldn't be entranced by his still figure until I finally reached the portal leading into my grand hall. When I looked around my room, I realized that nothing in the room would be able to accommodate his sleeping form. I went back to his room and marked everything in there. Surprisingly, his room was about the size of my janitorial closet.

 _How sad, someone of this skill at his age should relieve accolades and riches._

Once I returned to my place, I drew the runic circle into a closet, allowing his whole entire room to teleport into it. I placed him onto his bed and closed the door. There were thoughts of how I should properly greet him, but the best course of action was to casually greet him. Turning back to the matter at hand, it was my duty to watch over him until he woke up. Despite the bruises on his face, he looked so calm in his sleep. I wanted to see his whole body, see how his body works... But I fought back, not letting my temptations be the death of me. Without even talking to him, he managed to remind me of _**him**_ , but Shadow was more... Special. I was about to place my hand on his cheek until I just noticed his eyes were wide open. He slapped my hand and scurried into the furthest corner of his bed.

"HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY ROOM?"

"That's a long story, but for now would you welcome your guest inside your humble abode?"

His eyes were full with a flurry of emotions, too great in quality and quantity for me to pinpoint. But he got up and started to cook. He did it without saying another word to me. It was oddly mature for someone of his age, for I liked his independence. It was something all of us needed, for teamwork was a way of hiding weakness. The boy seemed to be strong in all aspects, but there was something that seemed... Odd. It was like there was a weakness not working at the surface.

"Here."

He handed me a plate of the mysterious substance. Upon further examination, it seemed to be comprised of pork slices, fried egg, and some sort of unknown white grain. He watched me as I examined the meal, shooting me a glance of great confusion.

"Are you going to eat it or not?"

Gingerly, I grabbed the eating utensil and took a bite of each component. Surprisingly, it tasted good. Better than anything I've ever tasted in this form. He started to smile as he saw my reaction and I decided to back down.

* * *

 **Jake POV**

The woman seemed to smile as she took a bite of the bacon, egg, and fried rice. She saw me smiling at her reaction and she started to blush.

 _Fucking anime drilled these lewd thoughts into my head. Just because she was blushing so much doesn't mean she has a thing for me..._

She started to laugh at my deep thought. I snapped back to reality and assumed that she could read minds.

 _Hope she doesn't tease me for it. Please._

She seemed unresponsive to that thought, so I let my guard down a bit. I started to ask questions because there was A LOT I wanted to ask.

"Before we even get to this whole situation, would you happen what time it is?"

"It's around noon, soon to be the next part in about an hour."

"Hmm... Actually, wou-"

"I assume you are human?"

"Umm..."

"I would guess that because you have brainwaves one wouldn't usually observe within a normal mob."

"Surely you're mistaken..."

Beads of sweat covered the entirety of my face, but I tried not to tip off my thoughts to her.

"Maybe I just am... After all, it's been a while since I've been here."

"Well, I have to find someone..."

"Who?"

"Well, someone attacked me, so I have to..."

I stood up and grabbed all my stuff and dashed out of my room. What I didn't expect, however, is that what I was met with was a grand foyer.

 _Firstly, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? Second of all, HOW DID SHE FUCKING KNOW THAT I WAS HUMAN FROM MY 'BRAINWAVES'?_

I went to the painfully obvious two big doors that lead outside. Surprisingly, I calmed down as I saw she hadn't left my room. I opened the door and was spat out in the middle of the lobby. The same blindingly white room stood around me, with the furniture different from last time. This time there were sofas and tables, those of which you would find if you were attending a family dinner.

 _Wait, what day of the competition is it?_

I checked my laptop, and it was the same day as I had been attacked.

 _Then it's still the day where we have to do the brawls. Wait, the bigger question should be: WHERE THE FUCK WAS I, AND HOW THE FUCK DID I GET HERE FROM THE DINING HALL?_

It took me a while to process everything, but I came to the realization that I shouldn't overthink it. For all I knew, I could've high on some fucking excess energy emitted from the princesses.

"Seems like you're in deep thought."

I turned around and saw the same woman that had intruded into my room. She was in a very revealing outfit, her supposedly E sized titties were proportionate to her tall figure, like **LOOMING OVER ME** tall.

"Not at all, I was just wondering what happened today, I think I may be hallucinating."

"Why do you think that?"

"A lot has happened this morning, and I'd rather not think about..."

"If it helps, I'll tell you that my name is Amanda."

 _What a normal name, however somethings sketchy here..._

"The name's Shadow, nice to meet you."

I shook her hand, and I was seemingly shocked by an unknown force, and it didn't feel as if it were an electrical one. It was as if a jolt of energy shot through my body from my hand. It confused me but I decided to sit down, because WHY NOT? Vennoc and Herobrine appear out of nowhere and start to greet me. Herobrine strikes up a conversation with me using some seemingly innocent words, however there was a worried look plastered on his face.

"Hey Shadow! It seems you were talking to HER. What were you two talking about?"

"Nothing..."

He pulled me aside and whispered to Vennoc to distract her. He took on a cautious tone when whispering, and he took that same tone when he spoke to me.

"Do you know who you were talking with?"

"No, she was in my room this morning and I had some weird occurrences prior to that."

"She's the Ancient One you read about."

"WHAT?"

"SHH! Down your volume. If you have gained the attention of her, I'm pretty sure other mob bosses are going to come for you. And that's going to be tedious for me to check my large barrier to pin point where all of them are at the same time. We need to come up with a solution before the rest get here..."

"Who?"

"The other mob bosses. You should've already seen some of the bosses have arrived."

"Oh... That's why they all were intimidating. However, why would we need to come up for a solution just for a small problem like watching over bosses?"

"Let's just say I have some bad history her and some other bosses who are coming."

"Oof."

"Yeah."

He left me to my own thing and approached Amanda gingerly, as if he didn't want to mess with her. This was a sight because I never would've thought that he was able to be scared of something. However, he seemed to remember something and turned to me.

"Actually, I'll let you have a head start of whats happening today. All of you are going to be participating in capture the flag. Your team will be competing against Team C."

Obviously, this was going to be an issue. No way our team could go up against them without some sort of outside force. So, I just tried to keep my composed as Amanda glomped onto me. I waited, and she gazed intensely into my eyes. It was quite hard to not feel or think anything when someone that attractive is next to you. Wait.

Let me rephrase that.

When someone _**THICC**_ is _**SMOTHERING**_ you. Yeah. That's about right. Anyways, I wish I had a phone so I could just listen to music secretly, but all I had was the obvious af laptop. The aura in the air seemed to be tense yet dull, all the while feeling bogged down by all these random thoughts. Soon the time came, the room became full of people and Herobrine explained the rules and pairings to us. After that we were teleported in...

* * *

 ***Insert yet another closing author's note here***

 **Ciao!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry about that, was tinkering with earlier chapters.**

 **Here's your chapter!**

 **So Enjoy!**

* * *

"Time will move slower in the arena. For instance, a day in the arena will simply be twenty minutes for us... Also, your flags have to be in an easily accessible area with at least a single pathway in. Injuries and mental afflictions will be cured and forgotten after leaving the arena. Any fouls will result in disqualification. And as always, Have Fun."

Herobrine sounded a bit tense when he said it, but I could understand. Amanda literally had him at his fingertips, as expected of having a rocky past together (according to him)...

Even though I was used to it, the blocky demeanor of the environment was always confusing. After being warped in, we were in a forest. An old, down-trodden road laid out a path in front of us. In my hand was our team's flag, the pole being featherweight despite having the looks of a metallic pole. I had no choice but to try to take command because immediately the two slime gals started to bitch at one another. Before I could even break them up, Talon took to shoving me aside.

"I'm going to become the captain of this team and that's final."

"Now that's where we are going to have to disagree."

"You..."

In a blink of an eye, he charged at me with his claws. Dodging his swing, I sunk my elbow into his jaw. He reeled back from the force and took a moment to shake off the shock of it all.

"As I said, I won't allow you to become team captain... I propose that _**I** _become team captain."

Without warning, he tried once more to hurt me. Seeing as it was yet another reckless charge, I took my bo staff and thrust it towards his diaphragm. On impact, he had managed to wind himself from the force behind his charge.

"Any objections?"

"N-no..." sputtered Talon. The two slime girls weren't bickering, and there were no objections from the two spiders or Sylvia.

 _Jeez._

Walking up to a tree, I punched out a few blocks of wood from the tree and turned them into wooden planks.

 _Haven't mined or crafted in a while now..._

Crafting a wooden axe, I felled some trees down and got some apples, tree saplings, and wood. Tossing Talon two apples, I picked him up off of his sorry ass.

"Good. Talon, scout out the area around us."

He clicked his tongue in annoyance as he sent me a death glare.

"Right back at you furry boy."

Resentfully he finally flew off in dragon form towards the mountain range down the road. The next step was sending Sylvia to scout the area opposite of Talon's direction for anything of interest. Seeing as they wouldn't come back for a while, I took this time to actually speak to my team properly.

"Hey there."

"What's up?" Margaret casually answered. Her resplendently cacao skin seemed glossy, almost representing the qualities of a magma cube. I badly wanted to make her jump to see what kind of jiggle physics slime girls had opposed to real girls had, but I had to restrain myself from drooling any further.

 _BUT DAMN SHE **THICC**._

"We actually haven't properly introduced ourselves. So I guess I'll introduce myself first. I'm Shadow."

"I'm Margaret. Nice to finally have introduced myself."

 ** _7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L_**

 **The Magma Cube kingdom has been constantly trying to battle for supremacy over their cousins: the slime. Their whole kingdom surrounds The Nether Portal, so it is easy to send their troops to The Overworld. The magma queen has surprisingly spawned only one offspring, that being princess Margaret. Princess Margaret is the general of the N.S.F (Nether Strike Force) consisting of all the Nether mobs. Despite this, she only goes on two types of missions with her army. The first being the constant raids on the slime kingdom with her elite squad of magma cubes, the other raiding The Aether with her Special Operations force.**

 **Magma Body:** _Margaret is basically the embodiment of magma. If any life steal or Life Drain were to affect her, it instead causes the attacker to burn and take damage while she heals off of it. Any specialized lava she creates heal her for a portion of damage dealt._

 **Leap:** _Margaret jumps high into the air, allowing her to combo it with her other abilities._

 **Home Territory:** _Margaret releases a constant stream of lava that fills the battlefield until it is one block deep. When in this specialized lava, she isn't slowed when inside it, rather it empowers her abilities. The lava acts like normal when other entities enter into it._

 **Sl ing: **_Margaret throws lava which latches onto clothing and skin, burning anything in contact with it._

 **Split:** _Margaret splits in half, consuming a portion of her health creating a clone which can cast all of her abilities except Split. She can have a total of 16 clones at a time._

 **7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L**

I was never any good at making small talk, but I managed to muster up to courage to talk to them for one reason. **_Tiddies._** Who else was on my team who had big tits beside Margaret and Terra? _**NO ONE.**_ It was my pleasure watching them bounce as they moved.

"Um. This may be rude of me, but why do the two of you argue with one another so much?"

"Don't worry about us too much, it's just family troubles."

Cautiously she checked around to make sure Terra couldn't hear us before she leaned in to whisper.

 _"Though Terra is always so passive-aggressive about it, so she makes it seem I'm the one that started the fight..."_

Because of how absurd that sounded, I accidentally said something aloud.

"It that's the case, then why do you let it get to you?"

"Well, it's because I can't stand her acting all high and mighty!"

Suddenly as if she had managed to teleport or stop time, she appeared Margaret with malicious intent flowing from her aura.

"Well, that's because you can't take a hit."

"Wha-"

Turning around to see how she managed to appear behind her, she received a quick chop to the top of her forehead. She dropped down in pain, holding her the visibly red spot on her head. Before she even thought of speaking to me, she bent down and smiled as if saying: "See? What did I tell you?". Without a second thought, she pushed Marge aside and finally turned to me.

"Sorry about Marge, she couldn't help being jealous of me."

She was twisting her body around in order for me to look at her 'goods'. Although I can't say I didn't look, I can say that she was obviously making them look more VOLUPTUOUS than they actually were (which was pretty big as it already was... **DDs** ).

 ** _7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L_**

The Slime kingdom is a kingdom that is constantly resisting attacks from the NSF that try to come through The Nether Portal. Despite always defending, Mother Slime has always tried to claim dominance over the other subspecies of slime, believing the regular green slime is the original slime. Mother Slime has a split entity of herself which she calls her daughter, her official name being Terra. Terra is a very laid back character, rolling with the punches and going with her gut. Her abilities are like Margaret's except for the fact that she releases acidic goop rather than lava.

 _"Looking back on it, that shits A LIE!"_

 **7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L**

 _She may be one hell of a thicc babe, but she a BITCH. No... SHE'S A THOT._

"I mean, don't- worry about it?"

Without warning, she grabbed my arm and held it tight against her cleavage.

"Oh my! There seems to be a bruise on your arm, let me help you..."

Slowly my arm sank into her cleavage, my face now threatening to plop itself between the two mounds of pure slime/

 _Holy shit. Now THAT'S HAWT. It doesn't matter if she a thot, that shit got me MOIST._

Suddenly, Willow comes to my 'aid' and pulls me away from her cleavage, her body seemingly spitting me out. We both fell to the floor from the sheer force of that interaction, Willow's clothes covered in reddish dirt. After dusting herself off from falling, she stands back up and points forcefully at Terra.

"H-how lewd!"

With feigned ignorance, Terra managed to put on a friendly smile, but Willow would have none of it.

"You can't just seduce a man like that, it's... Unladylike!"

Then there came that grin. That smug fucking grin of hers made you feel... Insignificant.

"Huh? You're one to talk about being unladylike. After all, you have a chest rivaling that of Sylvia's."

I could tell that one hit home as she visibly flinched from her words as she pulled out her shirt to look at her breasts. Thankfully, Margaret came to the rescue and stood back up, placing her hand atop Terra's shoulder with the same intensity as her gaze.

"However, she has a point you barbaric slime."

Turning back to meet her gaze, the two fought silently with their gazes, neither one refusing to let the other win.

"Oh? It sounds like you want a fight..."

"Maybe I do..."

Suddenly Terra **_YEETS_** Margaret into the nearest tree. At that point, I couldn't snap them out of it as they began fighting once more. Silk timidly approached me and tugged on my sleeve.

"What should we so while we wait for Talon and Sylvia to return?"

"I guess we just punch trees?"

After that, the three of us harvested logs with our wooden axes as the two slime girls wrestled one another. Soon half an hour had passed, Talon returned to report that up the road was already heavily trapped. However, to the North along the road was a mountain range. When Sylvia returned, she reported that in the South was a grand plain that stretched beyond the eye could see. Although it was reckless, we decided to head North. To reduce the chances of getting _**TRAPPED**_ , we walked along the treeline next to the road.

At the end of the road, we were met with a small hill of medium sized stones. We scaled it and we were graced with a sight no human would ever see. By the looks of it, it resembled Snoqualmie Falls, Washington, with its beautiful falls, but the falls fell into a large lake. The lake turned into a rapid heading eastbound, the north western side of the cliff were full of grandiose arches of stone, with flying wildlife in abundance. Floating islands shuffled slowly, occasionally looping through the arches.

"Wow." Uttered Ink before she took leapt into the lake. As a matter of fact, every single one of them (except for the two slime gals) took to settling down in the area. I couldn't blame them, it was a beautiful place, and I'd hate to leave this without a little fun...

 _ **...**_

After splashing around in the water with Ink and the spider girls, I realized it was nearing sunset. That would've been fine with me if I hadn't been reminded of what we were doing here. **_We were in an arena._ **Seriously, who the fuck makes an arena this gorgeous. Drying myself off, I managed to gather everybody beneath the arches, despite Talon initially refusing to.

"Okay, that's enough fun for now, because we need to come up with a plan. I've thought this through already, but Silk, Willow, and I are going to set up camp behind the waterfall. Talon, you can make yourself at home within the arches while Sylvia scout the hedges at the edge of the forest. Meanwhile, Terra & Margaret are going to be responsible for acting as patrol. Any news should be relayed to the others, capiche?"

 ***BIG FUCKING WALL OF TEXT COMING RIGHT UP (READ ONLY IF YOU WANT _KNOWLEDGE_ )***

 ** _7~~~~~~u-u~~~~~~L_**

 **The Spider kingdom is a kingdom which can be split into two separate kingdoms of Spider and Cave Spider. The spiders are cunning, so they've enacted their rights as separate mobs, but stay under one kingdom. Their king King Webber has two daughters which he named Willow (Cave Spider) and Silk (Spider.) Now here is a sample of their abilities:**

 **Both:**

 **Cocoon: **_The user wraps the target in webbing harder than diamond._

 **Rappel:** _The user fires out a string that sticks to the first thing it touches. Rappel then propels the user in the direction of what the string stuck to._

 **Spider's Body:** _The user sprouts eight legs which help the user attack, block, and move._

 **Willow:**

 **Widow's Beauty:** _Willow bites into the victim, giving them Weakness IV, Fatigue IV, and Delusions, making them see the most wonderful thing they've seen, charming them towards Willow._

 **Venomous Fangs:** _Willow bites into the victim, making them slowed, poisoned, and nauseous for a course of 10 minutes._

 **Silk:**

 **Spider's Den:** _Silk is able to climb walls, wall jump, and do all sorts of acrobatics. She can also give herself a speed buff for a short 10 seconds to help her move around. Alternatively, she can cover the battlefield in her cobwebs, slowing other fighters and speeding her up._

 **Puppet:** _If Silk has a string attached to the victim, Silk is able to channel runic string through that one string, enveloping the victim's limbs in string_ _. She now has complete control over the victim's body, allowing her to cast their abilities until the runic string is broken._

 ** _..._**

 **The Silverfish kingdom is a very cunning and intelligent kingdom which plan to protect The End Portal, encountering many dangers that come out of it. Either it may be a flood of extra ender energy, to stray enderpearls being thrown. Queen Natalie has recently been turned into an endermite, leaving her one and only daughter Sylvia to rule the kingdom when she turns 18. She is only 12, but acts mature and upholds her posture like she is 18 years old. Here is a sample of her abilities.**

 **Limber Body:** _Sylvia is very flexible and agile, the only thing is that she has little physical strength. She is now resistant to cripples, bone breaks, paralysis, and flinches._

 **Hide and Seek: **_Sylvia digs into a block only to be brought to a random block of the same type. She is revealed when she jumps out or when the attacker strikes/destroys the block she is hiding in. Even though the attacker destroys/strikes the block, Sylvia receives no damage._

 **Swarm Mind:** _For every two stone blocks that surround her, she summons a silverfish to aid her cause. The silverfishes can think for themselves, but help Sylvia power her Warcry._

 **Warcry: **_Sylvia screams into the sky to summon all sorts of silverfish from every single block, ranging from flaming to suicide._

 ** _..._**

Bulwark: Bulwark may be the smallest branch, but it provides useful spells for protecting yourself. These spells, however, constantly drain mana as you use them, so make sure you either avoid using it so much or compensate for it.

Regeneration: _Regenerate Health at a certain rate._

Slowfall: _Fall slower in order to prevent fall damage._

Reflective Screen: _Summons a light screen that reflects magical and physical attacks from melee weapons and fists._

Repel: _The air around you starts to push away mobs and projectiles coming at you._

Blink: _Automatically teleports you to a safe spot (no energy, traps, or mobs detected) when you are low health._

Barrier: _Absorbs a certain amount of damage._

Support: Support is slightly larger than Bulwark, but aim on assisting allies rather than harm foes. However, these still can be cast on enemies or yourself.

Haste: _Brings speed to a limb, whatever it may be a leg or an arm._

Levitate: _Lifts the target about a foot off the ground, helping avoid damage from contact or traps. However, it requires immense training to control your positioning and movement while afloat._

Flight: _Grants the target flight for a minute, unlike Levitate, no prior training is required to fly._

Water Breathing: _Grants the target temporary gills allowing them to breathe underwater._

Night Vision: _Grants the target extra sensitive eyes to see in the dark. However, it is not recommended you go into bright areas as it may bring retinal damage._

True Sight: _Grants the target of the ability to see everything from hidden energy to teleport locations._

Shield: _Gives the target a shield that absorbs damage for them._

Heal: _Gives the use life and NOT health. Please be wary casting this on undead allies._

Offensive: The second largest branch, this branch specializes in dealing damage to an opponent, sometimes even afflicting extra effects.

There are five types of damage: Fire, Lightning, Frost, Arcane, and Force. Fire, Lightning, and Frost all have three spells which do special effects according to their types. Basically, those three sub-branches contain a status effect, a projectile, and an area of effect spell. The trio is self-explanatory, the Force spells use the force of anything to deal damage, as opposed to Arcane that deals damage using energy in the area or the caster.

Crush and Guillotine: _A Force spell that s_ _ummons a needlessly large blade or chunk of bedrock to execute your opponent with either a sharp or blunt object._

Drown and Choke: _An Arcane spell that suffocates your target either by filling their lungs with water or collapsing their airways by force._

Drain: _This Arcane spell drains a force out of the target and transfers to the caster, which can split into three sub-spells, Life Drain, Energy Drain, and Mana Drain. Life Drain drains life, Energy drain drains stamina, and Mana Drain drains mana._

Attract: _This Arcane spell makes the spot you cast it on acts like a black hole, sucking in and damaging everything except you._

Knockback: _This Force spell applies a sharp force using air or water to push back either a large group back a bit or a single target a large distance._

Summon: _Summons a preset mob from the caster's magical item to do their bidding. These mobs, however, don't drop items or experience._

Utility: Finally, there's utility, the one magic branch that is too large to explain at one time. The spells varying from practical to combat. These don't deal damage, and neither do they grant positive effects, they are just spells that do different effects. For now, we'll discuss combat oriented Utility Spells.

Slow: _The caster can decide whether to use a physical or magical slow, either by tightening the muscles or thickening the air to a mud-like state._

Blind: _The caster removes True Sight, Night Vision, or Water Sight. If none of these are present, the caster temporary blackens the Vitreous Humor of the target's eyes, temporarily blinding them._

Dispel: _Immediately cancels all buffs and positive effects in a large area around the caster._

Disarm: _This spell renders the target's hands useless, forcing them to drop anything they are holding._

Accelerate: _The target speeds up an object rather than a living being. This can be used to speed up arrows, speed up TNT detonation times, and speed up growth time of plants._

Fling: _The caster flings up their target no matter how heavy or firmly planted they are. They are flung up a predetermined height._

Watery Grave: _Creates an area where it makes any in the area think they are in the water. The area is then flooded with gas that acts and feels like water but doesn't drown the_ _opponent. The air is also now applying heavy pressure, giving the victim the feeling they are stuck in a large cube of water._

Dark Aura: _The caster cleanses something of negative effects and creates a dark aura in that area. The area now can be used to combo with other abilities, which we refuse to disclose._

Life Tap: _The caster can choose to use their own blood to cast spells rather than mana. It doesn't matter if the blood is inside the body or not._

Leap: _The caster leaps a predetermined amount of blocks into the air, levitating for a couple of seconds, allowing them to combo spells._

Random Teleport: _The caster can randomly teleport to any random location, which can't be deciphered by True Sight. However, it can't detect if it's going to land on a trap or put you in a dangerous area._

Astral Distortion: _Creates an area that prevents any sort of teleportation, may it be a spell, item, or mob ability._

True Teleportation: _Allows the caster to teleport to any realm, or place with exact precision._

Dust: _Returns all summoned mobs back to their previous forms before they were summoned, may it be an item, mana, or energy._

Transplace: _Immediately switches the caster and another living being, leaving behind auras or items not bound to the entity._

Chrono Anchor: _The caster places a rune anchor that can be destroyed by others, but the anchor retains the state of the user within it. When the caster recasts Chrono Anchor when the Anchor is still present, the state of the summoner will return to what it was when they placed the anchor. For further elaboration, when recast, their stamina, mana, health, status effects, buffs, and position return to what it was when Chrono Anchor was cast._

 ** _7~~~~~~owo~~~~~~L_** _  
_

 ***CONTINUE READING AT THIS POINT YOU FILTHY PLEBS***

I was received with nods, except for a reluctant one from Talon.

"Talon, you're just going to have to trust me, unless you want me to beat you up again?" Talon shook his head violently as I stood up again.

"Don't worry about it, we won't lose so easily like you think. On the plus side, you can do whatever you want up there, just as long as you don't forget what we're here for."

That seemed to cheer him up and make him forget about our scuffle a couple hours ago, but that wasn't enough to make us feel secure, but it was a step closer to it. With Silk and Willow following me, we began to make plans on what to build and do behind the waterfall. Obviously enough, the two volunteered to make traps and web up the area as I found a suitable place to plant the flag. Hilariously enough, there was a cheeky spot right near the entrance that linked the end of the maze to the beginning, so I placed the flag dead center in the shadowed corner.

"Shadow?" It was Terra, and she was dressed less than usual. When I say that, I mean Lone levels of bare necessity. She wore a T-Shirt that barely managed to cover her nether regions **_(FUNNY JOKE)_**.

"Yes?"

"Its night already, so I would like to go to sleep."

"Okay, before you do that though, we should assign night-watch."

Soon enough we had gathered in a little tent Willow made out of webbing, there were about six beds, which was enough if we excluded night watch.

"What time do you guys usually go to sleep at."

As, they said their times, I devised a plan. Since it was already past 8, and first light shines at 8, it was easy to split the 12 hours., the shifts will be 90 minutes each, and the list was simple.

"Ink is first shift, then Sylvia, then me, then Talon, then the spider sisters, then finally the slime girls."

We agreed, then we all went to sleep. I was awoken by a large set of hands.

 _Wait. Isn't it supposed to be Sylvia?_

Opening up my eyes, a blade was being raised above the attacker's head. Quickly, I grabbed their ankles with my legs, and roll right. The person lands on their back silently against the baggage we brought. Shortly after, I got up and lock their arms with my leg, allowing my arms to tie them up. The issue with tying someone up is not the effort, its trying to silence them. Duct taping their mouth, I got to the legs... The legs... They were oddly... Soft and plump... Very... Smooth... Not hairy... Not one bit at all...

 _Hmm... Uhh... What is this. Why does that look like that... Wha- OH MY GOD ITS A GIRL._

I finish up the legs and connect the arms to the tie with the same piece of tape. I rip it, and quickly scoot back. allowing myself to get my hands off of the woman.

 _I just fucking_ _committed sexual harassment. Shit._

I heaved myself up, adrenaline and tight muscles begging for movement. I walk outside and a volley of arrows wiz past me, making me forget instantly of everything that had transpired. Looking back at my tied up victim, she was gone and echoes could be heard of a command similar to 'Fire!' The arrows were firing in a barrage towards me, and I sounded the alarm. Head count revealed that everyone was here except Sylvia.

 _Shit, they kidnapped Sylvia._

"INK! KEEP ON ANDR! TALON BARRAGE THE FOREST! SILK AND WILLOW, PICK EM OFF! TERRA, MARGARET, ON ME!"

* * *

 ***Insert yet another closing author's note here***

 **Ciao!**


End file.
